Am I a bad person

[bedstand]

Me and my DH have a 18month DD who we love dearly. However we are both on the furlough scheme. I constantly feel like I wish I could have experienced a lockdown as a couple without a child, I see tonnes of posts on social media and speaking with my friends hearing how they are having duvet days, cuddles with their partners and days having fun and most importantly lie ins. Where as we have the joys of waking up like clockwork at 5:30am and being awake and playtime with DD right through to 7:00pm bedtime no time for us to be a couple or even our own people.
Am I a bad Wife/Mother/Human being for feeling this

No not at all, never did I wish I didn't have kids until lockdown! I think it's normal and definitely doesn't make you a bad person

I don’t think it makes you a bad person no, maybe you just need a break?

Alternatively you maybe have a touch of pnd? Is this just occured during furlough?

Thank you for the kind words
No definitely not PND I love DD so very very much and I know DH does too, and she's a very well behaved girl it's just there's only so much we can play with horses (her favourite toy)

You're not a bad person. This lockdown has been hard on everyone and I also think it would be easier if it had happened pre baby or with much older children. It adds extra difficulties to an already difficult situation because you don't get a break. I think just get through best you can. You obviously love your dd. Do you have some free time on a weekend when your partner looks after her and vice versa?

If you are both on furlough take it in turns to get up with her, then swap roles through the day so you get some alone time. Park everyday.

Hopefully she she still naps and you get some couple time then.

Ps. Yes lockdown with a toddler is rubbish but you have two of you to look after her!

If you are a bad person then i am a terrible one.
I absolutely love having some time without my children and more importantly to myself to just chill out for an hour in the bath etc but i do 95% of the parenting to my 18 month old and rarely get any time at all.
I'd just gone back to work after maternity leave when lockdown happened and im ashamed to say i was devastated to lose the couple of days i was out of the house and free to be me and not a parent and back to being with my DD 24/7 with the added fun of no baby/toddler groups and being unable to meet up with friends.
I spent alot of lockdown jealous of my partner who carried on working while i was stuck having to work from home and entertain DD too, it was a living nightmare.
Everyone on social media seemed to be having the time of their lives and then those who lived alone were moaning that they were bored?? Did they not realise that i would sell my kidney to be in a situation where i could have spent lockdown on my own or at least with no kids to look after!
I'd just gone back to work again when this second lockdown has hit and its put me straight back to those same thoughts of jealousy.
Why could lockdown not have happened a few years ago when i only had my older DC who is past the stage of needing much from me and i could have enjoyed days of lay ins, not stressed over working from home and really made the most of it as many families have.

I'm afraid i have no advice but just know that you are not alone with this and it doesnt make you a bad person!

Of course it doesn't make you a bad person but maybe look at the flip side - you're not having to try to work round a shouty toddler or be the person keeping a shouty toddler quiet while the other one is working (this is me since March). You can alternate lie ins, you can alternate your day so one of you can take her out and the other one can have a break. Maybe get a nice takeaway or cook something nice one night for when she's gone to bed so it's more of a date night? Most parents only get from kids bedtime to their bedtime as couple time anyway!

Lockdown is obviously hard on everyone and being on furlough must be a worrying time but comparing yourself to others really isn't going to help.

You're not alone. Im not in furlough, DH and I both working usual hours from home, but I have had the same thoughts! I think for me it's just about needing some time alone, or with friends, but without DH and DD! I feel like there is nowhere to go. Not bad, it's just a difficult time.