Baby no 2 age gap?

[SarahDay1990]

Hi all
To cut a long story short! I had a very traumatic birth with DD (she turns 2 next week) and had PND which I’ve only recently sought help for. I finally feel like the mist has lifted and have been thinking more about having a 2nd baby. I always wanted 2 children but I found the first time around really tough. Anyway - what age gaps are Good between little ones? The age gap here would be over 3 years - is that too much?

What is wrong with MNs thinking 3 years is lots. I really don’t get it. Too large for what? They will be in the same school for the bulk of the years, still do the same similar age activities.

The two questions are when can you financially afford 2 (mat leave/ nursery/ free childcare hrs) and when can you practically handle it. I am not a 2 under 2 woman! I just had my second, my 3 year old can communicate with me, well toilet trained, staring to dress herself and can help tidy up. That makes it bearable. But every person is different

3 and a half years has worked well here. My DH and his two brother are at 5 year intervals and get on well. Yes, activities have to be different sometimes but you don’t have the issue some of my friends have where their youngest assumes that they can do the same as the eldest because they’re only two years younger...doesn’t go down well with the eldest sometimes!

There's 5 years between mine (not through choice) and it worked really well.. so well my friend chose to have a very similar age gap between hers .. there's no such thing as the perfect age gap.. it really depends on family dynamics

I had two under two (before I was on MN and realised it was such a big thing). I then had a 3 year gap, it isn't too big. I enjoyed it when I had a newborn and the 3 year old was able to go to the toilet on their own, actively wanted to spend some of the day playing on their own etc, felt like I could enjoy the newborn. Plus 3 year old wanted to help with the baby too. In my DCs school there are just as many people who have a 3 plus age gap as there are 2 under 2.
If you want another you're not too late and you'll be in good company with a 3 plus year age gap.

Well i'm planning a 4 year age gap 🤷‍♀️

Thanks everyone!

I was thinking about this yesterday as I await DC3’s arrival! There’s 4 years between DC1 and 2 and it has worked out SO well. DC1 has been really tolerant, kind, caring and DC2 really benefited from lots of one on one time with us while DC1 was in nursery and now school. It felt like the perfect age gap.

There’ll be 2 years between DCs 2 and 3 and I’m actually more anxious about that - DC2 is so much younger in her processing and reasoning skills than DC1 was; I’m not sure how she’ll handle the change and I’m not sure how I’ll parent two together all the time...