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Parenting

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Original poster

Children and alcohol what do you think?

25 replies

Maudy · 21/10/2004 16:47

I was just looking at another thread about putting wine in childrens food and wondered what you thought about letting children try alcoholic drinks? I know some of you will be up in arms at the thought of it and will be thinking of sending the social services round but I let both my children (2 and 6) try my wine or beer if they want to. I only mean have a sip, just to see what it tastes like but I want them to realise that it is no big deal, no great mystery. My parents used to do the same to us and when we were older, probably early teens, we were allowed to have wine mixed with water with dinner. This made us feel really grown up and therefore non of us felt we needed to go out behind our parents and get pissed at the first given opportunity.

Does anyone else do this?

OP posts:

snmum · 21/10/2004 16:48

THE THING WITH PUTTING IT IN DINNERS IS THAT THE ALCOHOL ISNT ACTUALLY THERE ANY MORE AFTER YOU HAVE SERVED IT AS IT EVAPORATES OFF

I LET MY KIDS HAVE A SIP YES

MummyToSteven · 21/10/2004 16:49

I had my first wine at 5 - would have been a very small nip - wine is very often part of jewish religious occasions - so I don't see anything wrong in small amounts of alcohol for over 5s - but in a very structured/controlled environment. We didn't really have alcohol at home for other than religious purposes when I was growing up, but it certainly took the mystery and taboo value out of alcohol for me as a teenager.

Original poster

Maudy · 21/10/2004 16:51

Yes I understand that about the cooking but I just wondered about alcohol as a drink.

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Marina · 21/10/2004 16:51

We will probably wait until ours are older but agree an excellent way to teach children that drinking is a social, moderate activity is to include them and let them see adults drinking sensibly.
We did actually offer ds (5) a taste of some cider when we had all been round the lovely Westons factory this summer and were all tasting at the end of the tour, and he went all saucer-eyed and giggly, saying he didn't want to get drunk. Raised a few laughs but we are quite sad that he has picked this idea up from schoolfriends.

acer · 21/10/2004 16:53

My eldest ds (6) wont try anything new, thinks we are trying to poison him! but my youngest (4) has had a sip before.

Original poster

Maudy · 21/10/2004 17:12

I was expecting a bit of a slating so I'm relived that I'm not alone!

OP posts:

Enid · 21/10/2004 17:30

I hate it! and don't really know why as my parents let me try wine/beer if I wanted to. But I just hate the look of it I suppose...

sorry

KateandtheGirls · 21/10/2004 18:07

My girls (2 and 5) always ask for "a finger" of my wine or beer - I dip my finger in and let them suck it off. I agree that it's best to demystify it and not make it taboo. Both sides of the family tend to drink socially, so my kids see grown ups drinking alcohol regularly in a nice social way, and i'm happy for them to see this.

tex111 · 21/10/2004 18:08

I think it's a good idea as you've described it Maudy. I grew up in a very strict teetotal household but would secretly get drunk with friends almost to the point of alcohol poisoning just because it was so taboo.

iota · 21/10/2004 18:09

I think too much alcohol can lead to having children

And when you have them, you need alcohol

pass the wine......

suedonim · 21/10/2004 18:30

We've allowed ours to have a sip of wine/beer at meal times (though it is apparently illegal to give alcohol to under5's). But, as a mum on her third teenager, I honestly don't think it makes much difference in the end as to whether or not they later drink heavily. By the time they reach their teens, peer pressure and society's general lacksadaisical attitude towards alcohol is much more important to them.

The best I'd hope for is that, when over-imbibing, a young person has a little voice at the back of their mind telling them that what they are doing isn't sensible. Ds1 was definitely the most challenging when it comes to alcohol while ds2 and now dd1 have each been more sensible, thank goodness. But I have a friend who's 18yo recently sexually assualted a girl while he was blind drunk. He's a good way towards being an alcoholic with the amount he drinks, yet his family are as sensible and reasonable as the next one and they've no idea why he's like this. I think it's a big problem in society, tbh.

WigWamBam · 21/10/2004 18:39

We will allow our daughter a small amount if she wants it when she's older, probably at the age of about 6 or 7, but in my opinion any younger than about 5 is too young as they don't know what alcohol is all about and I have visions of her thinking she can help herself to Daddy's red wine in the same way she can help herself to juice or water. I'm not sure that exposure to acohol is a factor in sensible drinking - we were never allowed it at home when I was growing up and I am a tee-totaller while my sister is an alcoholic.

Twiglett · 21/10/2004 18:52

I'm with snmum (though I wish you wouldn't shout )

totally different letting them have a sip when they ask to that woman on 'Who rules the roost' who kept nagging her 3 year old into having wine .. I thought that was appalling

Tinker · 21/10/2004 19:12

We were allowed watered down wine with the Sunday lunch - and none us of grew up to have any respect for alcohol . But I still gave my daughter the odd sip if she wanted it - she never asks now

codswallop · 21/10/2004 19:13

I found alcohol goes very nicely with them.!
mine dont have any becasue they dont want it. and dont like fizzt drinks anyway.

think allt he watering down stuff is a bit poncey IMHO, they will all go and drink cheap cider behind bus shelters anyway

DelGirl · 21/10/2004 19:17

we were allowed a tiny sip of whatever from a very young age and I didn't join the AA until I was at least 20.

Seriously, we were given a small glass of wine with our sunday lunch from a fairly young age and none of us have been serious drinkers since, well, maybe occasionally

mykidsmum · 21/10/2004 19:18

Didn't anyone see Who Rules the Roost, little boy in that was only about three or four and loved beer!! Mine have all tried and don't like, don't see the big deal, its not as if you'd let them get drunk, after all I'm not up for sharing my luxury with the kids, they've had evrything else they can't take that too!

Hulababy · 21/10/2004 20:00

DD (2.5yo) has had the odd sip of wine and beer - normally sucking off mine or Dh's finger. Can't see the problem TBH.

In France one of the champagne houses actually offered her a glass of pink champagne - needless to say we turned the offer down for her!!!

codswallop · 21/10/2004 20:07

we went int eh 70s to hte sandemann place in Portugal and I drank loads whilst my paretns were yakking.
fell over when I stood up! thats wehnt he rot set in....
I think I must ahev been pre school age.

Original poster

Maudy · 22/10/2004 10:13

I don't think that by letting them have a sip every now and again is going to stop them from drinking when they are older and I am by no means totally virtuous because of my relaxed upbriniging . I understand what suedonim is saying and I only hope that my kids grow up with that little person on there shoulder who tells them when to stop. But although you can teach them to try and be responsible for their actions you never know who they will befriend and what social pressures they will encounter so I suppose you just have to hope for the best.

Pass the wine someone !!!!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 22/10/2004 10:14

Whenever we go out for a drink with her there (at friends, family, restaurant, wherever) she will say:

"Daddy likes beer; mummy likes wine and I like juice please"

So having the odd sip hasn't tainted her view.

Frenchgirl · 22/10/2004 10:21

dd has tried red wine (didn't like it) and champagne (liked it, that's my girl!), am happy for her to try anything in moderation of course.... My parents used to let us try alcohol, and have some wine with lunch at the week-end when we were teenagers, and then Martinis when we were older teenagers. Am very grateful to them as LOVE wine, champagne and martinis!!!!

Moomin · 22/10/2004 10:33

i let dd(3) have her 1st sip of wine yesterday because she asked to taste it. She took one sip, grimaced and said "egh that's not very tasty mummy". she said she's not having wine again until she's got boobies and gets married (the 2 things she associates with growing up at the mo!)

secur · 22/10/2004 13:19

Message withdrawn

marialuisa · 22/10/2004 14:25

DD went through a bit of an alky phase at about 20 months. Ripped the plastic beaker of cava from hands at a barbecue in front of a very prim pregnant lady.

We tend to drink lager or spirits so whilst she's "tried" them she's not that keen. We always had alcohol as kids and whilst i had the odd binge as part of the gang (it's dull growing up in the country) I've not been beyond mildly tipsy (I talk more) since i was about 16.

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