Three and a half year old doesn’t want to do potty training at all

[Jedimastermama]

I’ve tried and tried but my LO doesn’t want to do it. Starting nursery soon, I mentioned this already when I visited, and they said it’s not a problem. But I feel so bad about this.
Any suggestions please.

Be guided by the nursery and do what they suggest. They would have helped with toilet training hundreds of kids before yours. When your kid is at nursery and sees all the other kids using the little toilets they will probably become more receptive.

Is there something she really wants? A 'big' girl item /hobby?
Shopping for pants is always a good strategy ime!!

Have you tried using a regular toilet with steps and seat insert? Some kids dislike the potty but will use the same toilet they see you use.

We looked at bought pants together. She was very excited at this.
I’ve tried using the regular toilet and encourage as much as possible, but she’s just not having any of it.
I’m hoping like you say when she sees the other boys and girls go to the toilet, it might help her.

This might sound silly but I had second baby this year, could this have anything to do with it?
Thank you all for your advice.

Def op.. Big dsis priveledges need to be offered up....
Later to bed is always a good idea ime...
Big dsis jumper.

My little boy is nearly 3 1/2 and is the same! Just want you to know your not alone - I’ve tried absolutely everything and every method thus far and it’s just not happening yet. I will keep trying- hoping when he starts nursery after Christmas that him seeing the other children use the toilets will have a bigger impact. I know he will get their eventually so I’m trying not to worry.

Thank you all, I feel a bit more reassured.

We've just followed the oh crap method and worked in 3 days.

You need to stop giving your dd the choice, she is 3.5yo, you are the parent.

We also followed the Oh Crap method. She was younger and after some initial excitement was not keen but once we took away the nappies they were not coming back and she mistly got it after a couple of weeks. After a month she was dry most days. We stated home for the first 4 days. At 3 I'd skip the potty as they are quite small and just use the toilet. We trained her when it was convenient for us not when she decided to.

I would take the power away too.
Loads of pants, loads of leggings and tonnes of socks. She piddles...she piddles, 5 minutes changes her wet clothes.
Toilet visit every 20 minutes...busy with a task or not. Bit of tough love needed here and of course, loads of praise when she’s dry or has abluted.
Good luck.

Mines not far off 3.5 and not potty trained. The HV said not to worry yet and gave me some advice and call back in a few months if you’re still not getting anywhere. I know of quite a few who didn’t manage to potty train until 4.
I love when people say just be stricter you’re the parent because then all you end up with is everyone stressed, child now really not wanting to go on the potty and piss and shit everywhere!

Another one here! DS just turned 3 and we have tried twice but i don't think he is ready. Back in nappies for now, i don't want to create stress over it. It was actually our nursery that took the lead in training him first time round, but they weren't getting anywhere either. He'll sit on the loo when taken and wee if he needs to, but he has no way of being able to know when he needs to go. He's just about to move up to the 'big room' at nursery so hoping that will help??

Reassuring to know we're not alone - it was so much easier with DD! not that it felt like that at the time

And if one more person suggests Oh Crap - yeah, read that with DD and all it did was panic me into trying too soon. According to the author, if your child is 3 and still not trained then you have FAILED...

@Itllbeaninterestingchristmas I was going to call the HV but suspect I'll get the response you got so that's saved me a call, ta

Hi OP, don't worry or feel bad - all kids are different and I genuinely don't think there's a set age by which any human child "should" hit any milestone... Life would be boring otherwise!

Our son wasn't hitting any of his nursery's "ready for potty training" markers at nearly 3, but in the gorgeous weather of lockdown 1 we just went pant-free and he got the idea pretty quickly, thank god!

However, I do recall a few horror stories from the boards - one little girl who constipated herself terribly due to being unready for potty/toilet and ended up back in nappies and on laxatives to try to resolve...

I honestly think there are risks to doing it too soon because "you're the parent", vs genuinely no risks to waiting - he's not going to be in nappies at 21 if you wait!!

Good luck

I'm in same boat! DS was three in August and he just doesn't want to do it. We also had a baby this year x

Thank you all for your advice. I’ve spoken to the HV also and she was really supportive too, and gave advice. The nursery have been supportive and we are working together on this.
I was stressing it but I’m not anymore as it’s probably not helping.