What did/ do you do if one parent is veggie?

[AliasGrape]

Maybe this should be in weaning but it’s not just about the actual weaning process so went for here.

I don’t eat meat, DH does though rarely.

He thinks that dd should be given meat as part of her diet as a child and that ‘we can’t impose being a vegetarian on her’. (I have tried explaining that whatever we feed her we’re ‘imposing’ on her).

I’m not against her eating meat - I don’t particularly feel comfortable buying or cooking it anymore so tempted to just say that when DH is cooking/ feeding her he can give her meat if he likes and when I’m cooking/ feeding I’ll do veggie options?

She’s only tiny still but I’m just thinking ahead.

What do other people do?

I was vegetarian when I had my children. My partner eats meat. We decided to give them meat. I now have one child that eats quite a lot of meat and one that rarely eats it. My partner rarely eats meat now and I’m now a vegan.
I think if I had my children now, I’d bring them up to be vegetarian or vegan as I feel much more aware of how to do it well. Like you say, you’ll be imposing something on them no matter what you choose.

Yeah mine have meat if DH having meat. Otherwise we all eat vege.

They know and understand I don't eat meat and know we will support them whatever they chose.

I'm veggie but DP isn't. DD is 10 now;.she eats meat, fish, veggie/vegan. We've not pushed any dietary choice so she can decide. She knows why I'm veggie.
SIL won't let her kids eat meat or fish at nursery as she thinks their meat and fish is unhealthy but is ok with them eating the Quorn alternative....

We are all veggie except for H. He only eats meat if we are out though.

Ours have meat at nursery but mainly veggie at home. I can just about cope with doing them fish fingers or slices of ham, wouldn't cook actual meat.

Same situation here, DH is vegetarian and i am not, we raised the kids vegetarian, one of them is now old enough to make own choices and has stuck to vegetarianism.

I’m veggie, DH is pescatarian (for health reasons so would eat meat if there was nothing else going) and DS will eat most things (loves meat, fish and tofu etc). I’ve always offered him all foods going. I ate most critters growing up, and mum was a notorious raw meat eater so meat held no fears for me and I’m a pretty good cook. Went veggie in my early teens for animal rights reasons.

I’ve known teenagers/young adults with eating disorders after having foods not allowed fill dietary or religious reasons. DS went veggie once (it was a trend for some kids at his school to ‘going veggie’ - but I saw them were eating bacon sandwiches at breakfast) and it lasted less than a day. I suppose when mums a veggie it’s not ‘cool’.

I’m veggie, DH eats meat but not very often and at the moment I do most of the cooking. Toddler DD is vegetarian. There are loads of reasons I don’t eat meat or fish and as they’re good enough for me they’re good enough for her. DH is completely in agreement and we talked about it before I got pregnant.

@firstimemamma

I'm vegetarian but quite happily feed it to my fiancé and our 2 year old son. I don't 'impose' meat on them, it's there on the plate and they don't have to eat it - that's how we view it.

If my son wishes to become a veggie like me when he's older then great but if he doesn't then I'll respect that decision too.

This was me. I am a strict veggie, was long before I met now ex-DH. All I wanted for my DC was that they would not be a fussy eater and would be able to eat food in any situation. So my DC ate meat and fish all through their childhood, even after ex left. I had to cook for animals anyway, so no big deal. DC dont like spicy food and a lot of veggie food is spicy. My philosophy has worked in that my DC eat pretty much anything and they are the child of choice when other families are struggling with eating. Their child watching my child eat everything and their child then copies and tries new foods because their friend does - that has been very emotional at times.

But basically this needs to be DC decision when they are old enough and competent enough to make it. A veggie (or vegan diet) has to be carefully managed to ensure full nutrition. That takes effort to manage. So eg a school veggie dinner is unlikely to be nutritional (pasta + tomato sauce; baked potato + cheese). A 4 year old isnt capable of that - that's parental influence.

I am not a "precious" vegetarian so I accept that other people eat a different diet. My beliefs are not religious or cultural. So perhaps I can be more flexible. Hope you find your path,x

We aren’t veggie but my eldest (now age 7) became veggie of her own choice age 5. Because of her we eat a predominantly vegetarian diet - probably about 80-90% veggie meals which is something we’ve found quite a positive experience overall. When we do eat meat we give our youngest (age 2) the meat option. He also has meat and fish at nursery. If he opts to become veggie later on that’s fine as it was for his sister. My personal feeling is that kids tend to naturally restrict their diets anyway due to pickiness and you have to work harder to get all the macro and micro nutrients in if you also opt to exclude certain food groups. If you’re veggie anyway and are conscious of how to make sure you can get all the important nutrients in then it’s not a problem.

I am veggie, DH eats meat. All 3 dc were weaned with a mix of meat-based and vegetarian meals. Sometimes I would cook meat for DH and the DC and a veggie dish for me, sometimes veggie for all of us, and sometimes they could choose whether to have the same as me or the same as DH. All ate meat quite happily and all one-by-one decided for themselves to become vegetarian in the early stages of secondary or late stages of primary school.

I’m veggie and we always eat veggie together. Dh sometimes buys meat if I’m out / we have guests and cooks it but not usually.
Our DS (almost 1) is veggie and DH has respected that no problems.

We agreed before having children that they would be vegetarian until old enough to choose. It was a deal breaker for me. My DS is wholly vegetarian and would never contemplate eating meat. He doesn't wish he was raised carnivore because he doesn't see meat as food, just as I don't. I was raised vegetarian as were my 4 siblings and none of us regret it.

I’m veggie but my sons dad isn’t.
When we had him we decided he could have chicken and fish as it’s a great source of protein. He doesn’t eat any red meats or pork. He’s almost 7 and never bothered, loves veggie options and eats a lot of fruit and veg too.

Do what’s best for you and your family.
I think my son will be pescatarian or veggie when he’s grown up as he steers away from chicken etc more often than wanting it

Thanks everyone it’s really interesting to read everyone’s experiences and given me a few things to think about.

She’ll not be ready for weaning till next year so we can keep talking/thinking about it. Obviously a lot will depend on what she likes and will/ won’t eat - I’m envisaging a perfect eater who will eat whatever is put in front of her but of course it probably won’t be like that when it comes to it

It’s good to know the approach I was thinking can work. We do share cooking and don’t tend to cook a separate meat option for DH (he has meat when we eat out or have a takeaway, I offered in the beginning to do meat options for him but he never saw the point and has always been happy with eating the same as me) so this way will mean going back to doing something different/separate for me but that’s fine.

I'm veggie. DH isn't. Dc1 was veggie until she started school, at which point she became a committed carnivore. By the time dc3 came along, the only person eating veggie at home was me.

I am veggie with a meat eating DH. We decided to raise DC as meat eaters and haven't had any issues so far, they prefer this diet but will meat veggie stuff too.
My concern was them getting enough nutrients growing up and I am glad they eat this diet as my youngest is fussy and wouldn't go near a lentil. Once they are old enough, it's their choice.

Whoops meant eat not meat

We're both vegetarian. DS (2) eats what we do - so an entirely vegetarian diet - at home, but eats whatever everyone else is eating at nursery and if being cared for by grandparents, which means he ends up eating meat maybe once or twice a week.

I’m vegetarian and responsible for buying and prepping food at home. Dh is not vegetarian and I buy him the meat he requests. As I did the weaning I fed them food I could face tasting, sharing and handling when they shove it in your face. When they went to school or on play dates I said they were welcome to pick what ever option of meal they wanted. Smallest sometimes will have a bite of his dad’s meat dinner if we go to a pub or he might pick a chicken pie for school dinners but very rarely. I think biggest ate pepperoni at a make your own pizza party once or twice- but no big deal. But food I cook at home is veggie. When dh wants meat he cooks it. He doesn’t tend to cook for the kids.

One of us is veggie, one isn't, but our toddler son has meat occasionally from the meat eater's plate and things like fish fingers sometimes if out for say a pub lunch. Veggie meals at nursery. He can decide when he is about 4 but most meals at home will be vegetarian anyway. Will be interesting to see what he decides (and obviously he can change his mind back and forth).

@AliasGrape

Maybe this should be in weaning but it’s not just about the actual weaning process so went for here.

I don’t eat meat, DH does though rarely.

He thinks that dd should be given meat as part of her diet as a child and that ‘we can’t impose being a vegetarian on her’. (I have tried explaining that whatever we feed her we’re ‘imposing’ on her).

I’m not against her eating meat - I don’t particularly feel comfortable buying or cooking it anymore so tempted to just say that when DH is cooking/ feeding her he can give her meat if he likes and when I’m cooking/ feeding I’ll do veggie options?

She’s only tiny still but I’m just thinking ahead.

What do other people do?

DH doesn’t eat meat, I do. I cook it but he’ll help with prepping it so DS can eat it. When weaning things do need to be consistant - you can’t just drop a bit of chicken on her plate every now and again because she probably won’t eat it. You need to offer things regularly and often, particularly meat which as it’s chewier requires some getting used to.

Also, review your and DC’s diet to ensure you all get the maximum nutrients from vegetarian sources. That means offering tofu etc. Offering a wide variety of legumes. And including frozen veg in your diet as they contain more vitamins than long life supermarket stuff.

When weaning things do need to be consistant - you can’t just drop a bit of chicken on her plate every now and again because she probably won’t eat it. You need to offer things regularly and often, particularly meat which as it’s chewier requires some getting used to.

I don't particularly agree with this, both from experience and also because my understanding that a really key goal with weaning is to offer lots of variety - the last thing you want is to offer the same few foods over and over. DS has meat very occasionally, and there are a couple of types he's only really had a couple of times (lamb and beef as joints rather than mince - the only times he's had this is when we've been at a grandparents' house and they've cooked a roast) and that's been fine. I think your plan to offer her meat on the occasions that DH happens to be eating it is fine, you don't need to go out of your way to do it more often so that she gets used to it.

Im veggie, DH isn't, I do most of the cooking. I feed her, my DH and DSC meat & fish. We tend to have a veggie heavy diet anyway so I'm not cooking multiple meals but for example some meals will have meat/fish added on, eg I'll do prawns to go with the veggie stir fry or sausages with jacket potato. My view it is easy to give up meat & fish but actually really difficult to eat it if you're not used to it, in my twenties I thought I'd try meat again and physically found it really unpleasant as after years of being veggie it was really unappealing to deal with the textures etc.
As she gets older it will be her choice.

I'm veggy dh is not. He feeds them meat when he's doing the cooking, and I'm always happy for them to have meat out and about. I just don't cook it or prep it myself