How do you agree on sleep training with husband. Advice needed

[JKDcot]

My 5 month old son hasn’t been sleeping well for weeks... wakes up multiple times for feed and crying to be settled. And recently just added a 3-4.30am completely awake period just for added fun

My husband and I have decided to get a sleep consultant to help with advice and a plan. I’m ok with the idea of tips ans tricks to help him sleep better. I’m not ok with any method that leaves him crying without our comfort.

I get the feeling my husband is a lot more matter of fact about it and will be able to cope much better. I run to the baby within a second if he cries and I worry about him at night if he’s quiet. Ironic right?!?

How can I come to a happy medium and not end up fighting with my husband about what to do? We will obviously rely on the sleep consultant and brief her on how we want to behave. But I just think I’m going to find it heart breaking and feel my husband is cold!?!

Any tips or other mums who can offer some advice please

Hopefully using a sleep consultant will help you and your husband be on the same page. Did for us. Also any sleep consultant worth their salt won't advocate leaving baby to cry before 6m old or unsupported after that.

Don't do anything that goes against your instincts, OP. They're there for a reason.

Your five month old is sleeping likes five month old. It doesn't last forever.

*like a five month old

Your 5 month old sounds like a normal 5 month old baby. I thought most sleep training methods were now not recommended before 6 months. It might be worth you reading the BASIC website from Durham university about infant sleep together. That way you will both know what is normal (it’s based on research studies conducted by Durham uni) and you can discuss it as you read it and talk about where you are at with your lo sleep, is it normal, what do you both want it to be in an ideal world and what methods you would be happy to use.

I used a fantastic sleep Consultant when my 9 month old was a nightmare.

However, she did say they most sleep consultants won’t work with babies under 6 months of age.

So I would ask around and see what options are available to you before making any definite plan.

Sounds like a normal little baby? I wouldn’t leave my baby to cry on their own either. The tricks that we used were bedtime routines, dream feeding, we also swaddled for quite a long time etc.
We also had a cracking maternity nurse who taught DS to fall asleep independently by 3monthx.

However, don’t expect a baby to be a perfect sleeper: most babies aren’t. DS is 2 and currently going through yet another annoying phase of a 2h party in the middle of the night. It’s just one of those things.

Babies go through so much development in their first year that it effects their sleep patterns, Things tend to settle down once they come out of the phase, teething also efects sleep patterns.

I personally wouldn't be getting a sleep consultant at this stage, most say emotionally baby should be 12 months or older to be able to understand they are not being abandoned when being left to cry at night. Its about teaching them that crying isn't rewarded with cuddles. You simply can't teach that to a 5 month old.

It is difficult, and the difficulties change all the time as they grow, but I have to say it, its simply part of being a parent to help your child through these stages with love and care, rather than trying to speed up their development inappropriately.

In real life, most children don't sleep well until they are 2 or 3.

What is your night time feeding pattern? You will be starting to think about weaning onto solids too soon, that also helps with sleeping as they are fuller for longer. You have a lot of things ahead of you yet to help baby grow and naturally sleep better.