Step siblings.... birthdays/Christmas opinion?

[Kel9]

Hi everyone

Just looking for advice and I suppose others experience.

I have a son who is 7 and will soon be 8 with my ex husband. My fiancé has a son too who is 8 and will be 9 soon. The boys are basically a year apart.

They get on well. My step son comes over at the weekends when his dad is not at work and my son just loves him.

What I’m finding slightly challenging is this....the boys are a like in a lot of ways but different in other. My step son I find likes to act older and often brags about having a mobile and going abroad with his mums family. I think he’s maybe trying to make my son jealous as he’s maybe feeling slightly left out himself. Which I get but he brags a lot about his mum buying him this and that.

I don’t say anything but I feel his mum is over compensating by giving him a new iPhone and allowing him to play various computer games online and he’s allowed to go out with friends. I hear you say mind your business and your right but this is where I find it hard..

My step son wants a new mobile this year and my partner isn’t keen for him to have a phone at all however his mum has said she wants him to have it so that’s his Christmas. She also wants him to have an iPhone watch...

Now each to there own but I’m finding it hard as my son says why does his step brother have a phone and he doesn’t?? There’s no way at 7 going on 8 I’m allowing my son to have a phone. I feel like it’s slightly like keeping up with the Jones’s but I’m not going to keep up lol... I want my son to be a boy and enjoy being a child.

My step son has also asked for a designer tracksuit this year 😂

How do I manage this with my son?

Different houses means different rules. I'd be surprised if your ds' friends have a mobile etc

Ds we see you all the time or you can use dads phone to ring us. When you're going to high school that's the time you should get a phone. I'm not keen on younger ch having a mobile as they don't know how to deal with cyber bullying etc. But ss mum thinks he's fine with it. Let us know if he's being a pain about it.

I'd normally say 9/10 is a bit young for a phone, but as he lives between two houses then maybe it's ok - with supervision. Our rules were that we had the pin number and it couldn't be changed. We could look at the phone at any time and DD wasn't allowed to have apps without us approving them and nothing that she was age barred from (although we did relent with WhatsApp).
Your son is both younger and not in need of a phone in the same way.
Is there something else that is special you can get him instead?

Yes I agree. My son has been told when he’s at high school he can have one. We stay in a tight community do I know my sons friends don’t have phones just now. He’s still a little boy and I love that about my son I want to keep that as long as I can.

In my current job I deal with children having access to phones and doing things or getting involved in things they shouldn’t at that age. It makes your toes curl!!

Your right each to there own and I’ve said this to my son. I can only control what happens in my own home.