Hi there. Whenever a family member calls on FaceTime or even a phone call (calls just out of the blue - most days, if not every day), do you stop what your 4yo is doing (ie watching tv, playing, or even just lying on the sofa because they’re tired) and make them talk to that person?
My 4yo daughter is exhausted after nursery and on Friday’s, so doesn’t always want to speak to anyone on the phone. I tend to use the “she’s tired” excuse whenever she doesn’t want to speak, as both my sister and dad have depression, so I try to give them a reason why she’s not particularly talkative - otherwise they take it personally.
My sister has just sent me a long message saying that whenever she/my parents call, then I should stop what my daughter is doing and make her talk, even if it’s for a few minutes - to quote, “she needs to learn that someone has taken the trouble to make that call.”
My sister doesn’t have children and acknowledges that she won’t ever understand what children are like.
Now I feel shit and also feel like I’m being made to feel guilty about my response whenever they call. I completely understand what she’s saying, but I won’t force my daughter to do something she doesn’t want to do (as I was when I was little). She’ll learn in time, but she’s only four and therefore hasn’t developed certain brain functions to truly understand the feelings of others.
Just interested to know any thoughts on this and also how you guys handle similar situations. Thank you.