Non verbal son - feeling down

[doadeer]

My son is 20 months and has no language.

I've chatted, sang, everything with him since he was a day old. I've tried my best so much but it's getting me down and I'm feeling like a failure. He doesn't respond very well to commands, won't point at anything. He often opens his mouth and shakes - but doesn't try to form words. He babbles a lot and goes hmmmm constantly. We read a lot, about 20 books a day. He doesn't enjoy most toys he just likes to move small items and collect them.

I spoke to HV and she was rubbish, we've been referred for hearing test which is in a few weeks but I really don't think it's that.

We are going to see a private paediatric consultant to get advice as he does have a few autism markers but I'm not sure.

Please can someone help, what should I be doing to help him? Having a real crisis of confidence.

We started with our SLT at about 19 months, and continued for about 6 months. It was by far the best thing we did for him.

Omg I could have written this myself !!! My son is 2 year 4 months and says 4 words but he understands us and will go and get what he wants and points ! I am worried and nursery have not said they are worried hit I am going to get him checked out

@Wwwomble

We started with our SLT at about 19 months, and continued for about 6 months. It was by far the best thing we did for him.

Thank you, and for your longer post, not patronising at all. I do try to do most of what you said... He often opens his mouth and trembles but words aren't coming. He's showing a lot more understanding in some areas, and occasionally I think he tries to copy singing. He has a slide in the lounge and we do 1,2,3 go! Lots of times a day. 😅

I'll research the other points you made.

Something that really helped ds at that stage was an app called Keezy . It splits the screen into eight buttons. When you press them it plays a recorded noise. It’s supposed to be for music but we used it for ds to communicate. Choose things he really wants and use phrases or words he can use going forward. Then help him press the button to “speak” to you. Eg “water”, “swing”,”raisins”,”scoobydoo”,”loonytunes”

I would say for 'typical' children that pyramid may apply. It doesn't work for my son.

We were lucky to meet a SLT who noticed something was wrong physically. Won't tell you our long story but it's important to act on what you're thinking. He started SLT at just before he turned 3 and it's been a very long road, which we are still on.

The website below has some good resources of things you can do at home. Ds1 had a speech disorder and could not talk to be understood by people who were not family until he was 6yrs old. He also has a diagnosis of autism, dyslexia and dyspraxia. We worked really hard with his speech therapy (only had a bare minimum speech therapy sessions) and have worked with school throughout. He is now working towards his GCSEs and predicted mainly As and Bs. So yes it is really important to get all the support you can and yes you might have to put a lot of effort in to getting that help but we found it has all paid off!

www.hacw.nhs.uk/childrens-speech-and-language-resources/

And yes for my son that pyramid would have not fitted him at all. His actual comprehension is fantastic and his social skills and always going to be poor but we did get there with the speech.

DS is about to turn 5 and was also a very late talker. He was diagnosed with asd just before the first lockdown. He’s been having private speech therapy for a couple of years now, and my god it’s made a difference. If we were closer I’d happily recommend his therapist but I’m sure you’ll find a good one too.

I would suggest signing of you haven’t tried already (sorry, only skim-read the thread) as that was a great first step for DS. We had help from Portage, which is a service run by Action for Children - worth a Google to see how you get that in your area. We were referred by NHS SALT, who we got to see through a drop-in session - again, see if they have anything similar in your area. Getting actual therapy on the NHS is nigh-on impossible here (Norfolk) - we’ve been on their radar for three years and have never had any therapy, only assessments. But they are a gateway to other services like Portage, and also to the team who diagnosed DS’s ASD.

DS had a hearing test (normal) and an eye test (he has glasses now) to rule things out and I’d recommend both - his glasses have helped him as I think he can see faces more clearly. But the speech therapy has been worth its weight in gold. It makes me angry that it only seems available to those who can pay, but if you can, definitely look into it OP.

DS has gone into school this morning prepped for show and tell, so improvements are possible with the right support. Don’t let the HVs fob you off. I knew something was ‘off’ with DS’s communication from when he was a few months old and I fear the HVs were singularly useless... but if you can get past them there is at least some help available.

Good luck.

Dollychops

he understands us and will go and get what he wants and point

So put things out of reach so he has to request ny a sound a sign or pointing at an image
If everything in reach he has no need to communicate

Oh upu want milk/book?
Or pretend to not jnderstand but show him how to ask by indicating from choice board you can make by photographing his things
Show me
Hand over hand to choose from images or do the sign with him

Hi OP - if you are looking for a private SALT in London, I’d highly recommend Stacey Zimmels (feedeatspeak on instagram)

My son wasn't saying any words (other than counting) by the time he did his 2.5 year check with the HV. She referred him for a hearing test which was inconclusive so booked for another hearing test a month later. That came back fine so we were referred to speech and language. By this point he was close to his third birthday and suddenly started talking. After a few months he was speaking in full sentences and now at 7 years he has a really advanced vocabulary. Some kids just take their time doing these things. 🤷‍♀️ He was also a late walker.

I could have written your OP and have read all comments with interest. My sone is 21 months and non verbal. I went to my GP and have a referral to SaLT and paediatrics. I feel like I have the ball rolling but I keep getting upset when I see children his age playing/singing.
It was his nursery who raised concerns but they just confirmed everything that we had suspected and it is hard.
I feel for you and hope you remember to enjoy your boy too, despite the worry x

@Embracelife

Dollychops

he understands us and will go and get what he wants and point

So put things out of reach so he has to request ny a sound a sign or pointing at an image
If everything in reach he has no need to communicate

Oh upu want milk/book?
Or pretend to not jnderstand but show him how to ask by indicating from choice board you can make by photographing his things
Show me
Hand over hand to choose from images or do the sign with him

Thanks I will try this

Fish88
Some take their time
Some need therapy
Some like my ds never develop verbal speechh and use AAC
Others use signs and symbols for some time..giving a means to communicate is essential

Acting to get assessment and support is always a good idea. Without panicking