Can someone tell me what's normal, and what's good, re sleep please?

[icedaisy]

Expecting baby 2 December, unexpectedly expecting.

Dd is just two and was the worst sleeper ever. She basically screamed from 4pm until maybe 11pm. Then slept in 20 minute stints, out of maybe three hours. If I got an hour all night I was doing well. I ended up very unwell, hallucinations, anxiety, it was bad. I had to start going to bed at 6 for two or three hours when dh came home just to be able to function. I stayed in sitting room with her as no point in going to bed.

When she got to four months we coslept but it was much the same. We had an osteopath, you name it.

It was not until 14 months with a combination of walking, food and sleep training we finally cracked it.

I've always wondered what is a more typical, or even good example of a newborn and sleep? Feed, wind and two hours? Three hours?

Dd came along after fifteen years of losses and infertility and indeed I had been told she never would. I do think my anxiety around that possibly contributed to her sleep and my stress about everything.

I know they are all different but I have no real idea of what a normal type example looks like, having only had Dd at the extreme end.

Thank you, starting to feel a little worried about toddler and doing that again, in fact I don't think I could.

It sounds like overtiredness to me. Make sure you look at awake windows etc.

My baby is one in 2 weeks and has always gone to sleep at 6pm.

We're currently using a sleep consultant as sleep through the night was unsettled and honestly it's the best money we've ever spent.

When she was only on milk she went 4 hours (although different if you're breast feeding).

She goes to bed at 6pm now and wakes at 6am!

It depends if BF or not, since BF babies wake more (this is generally speaking). After about a week of settling in where he would be awake for hours at night, my DS woke about every 2 hours - sometimes more often, up to every half an hour. At 3 months he sleeps in 3 hours chunks, usually get him down between 8 and 9 - I don't actually consider him a bad sleeper, but he's not brilliant.

There isn't really any "normal", and generally there's a lot of variation between BF and FF babies...

DD (who was EBF) was what I'd call an OKish sleeper. Apart from the month she had colic, and the 4m sleep regression, we got 2hr chunks, then 3hr chunks, then 4hr chunks, and at that point we sleep trained. She'd also throw in the occasional 8hr stretch as a curveball so we got some extra rest!

Conversely, my best friend just had a baby who is also EBF, and he slept through from 8weeks. Another friend had an EBF baby who still doesn't sleep for more than 2hrs aged 3.

I would say, the deciding factor as to whether your baby is a good sleeper and a bad sleeper is how well you are coping with the sleep you're getting.

Babies are SO annoying as there is no normal, and all anyone can tell you is their own experience, so in the search for normal you end up comparing, which is a slippery slope.

Good luck. Nap when you can, take all the help on offer, don't be afraid to stick your toddler in front of the TV if you need to, and vent on here whenever you want. You already survived what sounds like a truly demonic newborn (no offense, I bet he's gorgeous inside and out) and your odds of getting a better sleeper this time round are pretty much even stevens!

Thank you. I do wonder how much I caused with crippling anxiety and fear of losing her. I was so tense and stressed.

She was BF mainly with combined feeding by one bottle a day due to weight loss and then as an attempt to improve things. It didn't improve things.

I think I caught into a circle, the less she slept the more wound up I got and vice versa. It was bad.

Ahhhh no please absolve yourself of any responsibility or guilt! My friend with the non-sleeper is the most chilled mama in the whole world and it didn't make the blindest bit of difference. Babies gonna baby, it is nothing to do with you.