ok - sigh - WHAT do i do about ds2 (3.3yo) who is almost totally reliably dry at school, but wets himself wherever he stands/sits at home?

[nappiesLaGore]

i have tried being all 'oh dear, never mind' and getting him to help clear up, ditto all that and clearing it up myself, talking in level voice asking why?, getting more exasperated and say 'oh ds2! not again', ... whatever i say or do he just cheerfully says 'sowwy!' smiles or giggles, or frowns when i say 'no, dont be sorry, just dont DO it anymore!' and then goes about his day (naked from the waist down.)
mostly, he goes to toilet if naked from waist down. but certainly not always. and hes out in the garden a lot, so im pretty sure he just wees wherever he happens to be out there.

so what do i do? bribery? sticker charts? talks? calm? annoyed?

tbh, i cant see any of it working... he just blanks me completely if i call his name and hes not in the mood to be spoken to (cue instant rage rapidly swallowed by me)

Nappies, I've had the same problem with dd2 who took herself out of nappies at about 2.4.
She was alway dry at nursery but would always wet at home or when out and abut with me. I too tried many tactics;getting cross, not getting cross, saying 'oh dear' etc.
In the end I decided to ignore it.
If i was aware she had wet I would change her knickers and trousers without saying a word and get on with whatever I had been doing.

For her that worked.

I think it was because I wasn't paying her any attention when she wet that it stopped being something to get my attention with iyswim!!
Worth a try?

hey nappies, it's u and me in same boat again. only mine (also my DS2) who has been toilet trained since 2 and half ish is now just 4 and happily wees whenever / wherever too lazy - tho never at school (nursery class).
Tried understanding, complaining, being disappointed, ignoring (just suggest clean clothes and encourage him to put on with minimal attention)
To make things more interesting (?) in our house DD - not yet two has just totally toilet trained herself. shame on DS2!!

Will watch hopefully

hmmmm...

so i need to try totally ignoring...

ok, i can give it a go.

if i try that for a week, will that be long enough before switching tactics to a treats/rewards based system? do you reckon?

interesting you are having the same giggles - funnily enough, ds3 (20m) is showing huge interest in toilets etc... he just doesnt seem to know when its going to happen so i havnt really persued it.

and when i first attempted to train no1, it was ds2 taking to it immediately (and obviously since regressing) which shamed ds1 into getting on with it!

will try ignoring.

i do worry about it as a part of his wider behaviour patterns tho... the ignoring thing (and its not just me he ignores, its all adults) is a behaviour i feel i cant tolerate/condone. but what do i do?? i cant just shout coz it just doesnt work and i have to get louder and louder for it to have any effect at all and it breaks my heart when i shout too loud and he winces

ohhh my that shouting thing. me too. they ignore - for ever (how??) so very eventually one must shout. i know about all that ignoring stuff but it doesn't work in our house. Offering to go to the doctors to get their ears inspected came close for quite a while, but has now worn off too. Current tactic is you ignore what i ask you, i ignore what you ask me too ... for long enough to make the point anyway.Just a word to the wise - get him tested for glue ear before you get any more stressed with him. My DD has it and her hearing is significantly worse than her brothers

i reckon there is gonna be a lot of silence in our houses for the next week. AAhhhh - bliss

glue ear - good point. will get it checked.

atm, they are gradually all succumbing to tides of snot and coughing at night. my throat is closing up by the day too.
just in time for our first holiday in two years, flying on monday.
please please please, make the snottiness not make their ears hurt on the plane! (my first flight, i was 18 and my ears hurt like crazy for the entire flight and a week afterwards!)