Should I go on breakfast strike?

[glowfrog]

I have 2 DDs - DD1 is 8 (9 at the end of Jan) and DD2 is 5.5. I've obviously been making them both breakfast (or my husband has) forever, although DD2 is quite independent and will make herself a bowl of cereals and can even make herself a (not very) hot chocolate in the microwave.

My problem is with DD1. She will basically lounge around and wait for her breakfast of Nutella on toast and will be quite rude and demanding if it's not forthcoming. We've told her many times that her tone needs to change, we are not waiters etc but no change. We've tried to get her to make it herself but she basically won't.

Should we just refuse to make her breakfast from now on? Apart from anything else I'm quite worried about what this heralds for her teen years 🙈

I feel like we are raising an incredibly entitled child and I'm not sure how it's happened. DD2 is not like that at all but hard to say how much is personality and how much is response to sibling/family dynamics.

At 9 years old I would not accept that kind of behaviour. I would tell her to get her own breakfast out, you won't be making it anymore.
My DC are 5 and 8 and I get down the cereal because the can't reach. Otherwise they get on and do it themselves unless it's the weekend and I do pancakes or eggs or something.

No way would I be pandering to this (or letting her have Nutella every day, but that's another thing). Just stop making it! At her age, barring any special needs, she should be perfectly capable of getting some cereal or toast herself.

I think the children who get away with treating their parents like servants are the same ones who grow up to be lazy, entitled adults.

I only have a toddler so I have no real personal parenting advice , however growing up my family all sat together for breakfast at the same time every morning . My mom/dad made me breakfast every morning as a kid so I definitely don’t think you are spoiling them by doing that. Even if it was cereal we would all sit around the table and pick from the boxes of cereal put out . If it was toast my parents would put out the jams, butter, toast etc and we would help ourselves and prepare our toast how we like it .

No idea if that will help ?

My DD10 still has breakfast made for her, but she is polite about it! I always wrestle with would I prefer her to have the skills to fend for herself, or would I prefer her not to mess up my planning. At weekends, she will generally not eat breakfast till 11.30 unless given strong encouragement. But then she doesn't want lunch, and then she picks all afternoon... so it's easier to put breakfast in front of her, tell her to eat it and then the family's meals are in sync!

If she really wanted to, she could sort out food. She just isn't sufficiently interested in eating to do it. Like everything, it gets dinne by the person who most wants it to be done!

Mine are 11 and 9 and I set out the things for them and make eg eggs/bagels. I think it's nice to do that.

But they don't sit there being entitled- if they wanted a different cereal they get up and get it etc. They also clear their plates to the dishwasher at the end.

I thought that with the op children it's a sibling thing - the younger is v independent and the elder is trying to distance herself from that and distinguish herself.

Mine made their own at that age, and lunch if we were home

On school days I get it ready for youngest but weekends/ holidays they fend for themselves. A nice balance of them developing (much resisted) independence and not having the school hounding us because they go without breakfast. No snacks until they have had breakfast.

@LlamaofDrama yes, that's mostly it with her - she doesn't want things enough! She has no interest in cooking or making anything for herself, whatever the reason.

Thanks all for confirming what I'm thinking. I don't think she means to be rude as such IYSWIM but the end result is the same and enough is enough!