How do you deal with your 'artistic temperament' child?

[tortoiseSHELL]

Just wondered how those of you with 'artistic' children (read very stroppy!) manage them? Ds1 in particular, but also dd both show this - ds1 especially is very creative - musically, drawing, imaginative, wants to be 'an actor darling' and is very good at acting, loves nothing better! Along with that though he has a classic 'artistic temperament' - everything is high drama, either fantastically amazing or the end of the world, accompanied by appropriate dramatic statements/gestures (flinging on floor, weeping copiously...).

What's the best way to manage this? Dd is similar, though possibly not so creative, she certainly has the same meltdowns. Ds1 is 6, dd 4 (here's hoping ds2 is a nice level scientist!).

Thanks in advance!

I have the same problem with dd I'm afraid. Another problem I have is teaching her how to be tidy - she collects so much stuff and makes so many things.

Sorry have to go - dd and dd are fighting

Ds1 and dd are desperately messy as well!

It's the high drama that is so wearing!!!

Well I would just do what you would do with any other child - have firm rules and boundaries, etc, etc and ignore any drama-queen like behaviour.

I have a friend with a daughter like this and the mother has not been good at enforcing rules, etc. The child, while charming in many ways, is actively disliked my many of the adults who know her because of her rudeness, tantrums, etc (she is older than your dcs btw)

oh sniggers heartily at new definition of brat-dom

oh I couldn't be doing with that.

I think it's true that arty people can be very very emotional while also being rather detached. I'm never quite sure whether they are different, or they cultivate it to be arty. Your dc seem to suggest the former, tortoise.

Twig - it goes along with 'my child is very bright and bored at school' - ie disruptive in class!

Tbh, with my kids I don't have a problem enforcing boundaries, I'm quite strict with them especially about things like politeness and they do behave really well out of the home. It's more how situations can become episodes worthy of Eastenders.

For example, yesterday, all 3 children were given a helium balloon which they carried safely all round town. Then dd's got caught in a tree, floated off into the ether, her string was tightened round her wrist, dh said 'get something sharp', she went off on a total meltdown 'I DON'T WANT MY ARM TO BE CUT OFF'. At which point I'm afraid we laughed. But the only way we could calm her down about the balloon was by planning to write and draw a story about the balloon's adventures, flying over the sea and the mountains.

How old's the child with the balloon?

To be fair, young children do become incredibly attached to shiny helium balloons.

When dd1 was 3, a dolphin helium balloon was her pet for a oucple of weeks until it got loose one day. She was very upset.

And she's only a bit 'artistic'

pointydog - it's definitely the way they are - some of their friends are so lovely and level, and ds1 and dd are never level about anything - it does mean they can be FANTASTICALLY happy, but conversely of course, a disappointment can be sheer TRAGEDY.

Dh and I are both musicians so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but need advice to manage it!!!

She's 4.

It was the assumption that we would cut her arm off, and not the string that amused me!

all I can suggest is you have to counter-balance them. So you should always be calm, calm, calm. ANy emotion from you in these difficult aritistic situations will make things much worse.

I'd've thought.

helium balloons are a Big Deal at 4.

As is having a hand cut off

lol you are so right! When we all get going it is funny...but probably doesn't help!

I wonder what was more upsetting, the balloon or the arm?

heaven help you if the whole lot of you are 'artistic'.

I think I've learnt to be level, at least in public! At home it's a different matter.

Anyone else with 'highly strung emotional artistic creative' children? (How's that Twig?). Any ideas? (GrapefruitMoon, not ignoring you, that's great advice, thanks!).

bump

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Ok, what I do is to ignore most of the ott/ obvious attention seeking behaviour ('I'm going to run away from home for some piddling reason', for example).

And try to separate it from the age related frustration that all children experience.

And then try (again) get down to the nitty-gritty of a genuinely frustrated child who isn't doing enough art/craft/drama type stuff at school in order to satisfy her interest.

What I also do is decide things we can do together or give her an idea which she can then run away with and interpret as she wants (sometimes that can be free rein or within my suggested boundaries)

I think you have to treat them like any child who has a particular skill/interest/obsession. It has to be channelled.

Errm, I'll see what else I can think of! (my dd is 6.6 btw)

My two are definitely more into the 'performing arts' side than the craft, although ds1 and dd both LOVE drawing, and dd does lots of sticking things to each other - there are lots of really good ideas there, thanks mercy!

Anyone else have a high drama child?

Depends what you mean by high drama.

I'm trying to think of example but drama is such an everyday part of dd's life it's hard to think tbh.

dd has unrealistic (very romantic/fantasy/idealistic) views of certain things - for example birthday parties. And when they don't match up to her high expectations she could get very upset afterwards, despite having a good time.

She cannot walk in a straight line, she has to hop, skip or jump. And mundane chit chat is accompanied with a pirouette, a curtsey or a funny voice. She writes dozens of notes and cards with drawings of herself crying or smiling, or of rainbows blah, blah, and posts them under our bedroom door.

Is that the sort of thing you mean?

mercy - pretty well. Ds1 is very romantic about things, and will create a story around anything - so if he accidentally trod on a snail he would say 'poor snail, it just went out for a walk, and now it is dead, it didn't realise this morning that it was its last day, its family will be so worried about it when it doesn't come home, and then they will realise and will cry and cry' etc.

Dd sings all the time, and can't walk, has to dance. She throws huge wobblies at the slightest thing - this morning was that I did her coat up, and she wanted it open, so she lay on the floor screaming, and went off to school in floods of tears...

I think what I mean by 'high drama' is that nothing is just 'fine' or 'ok', nothing 'just happens', everything is accompanied by very dramatic statements, or gestures, or emotions when really the situation doesn't necessarily warrant it. And I've definitely noticed with some of their friends that they don't react in this way, they accept things as they are more, and have more level and stable emotions.

tbh, I think some of the drama queen stuff goes with the age group...dd and her friends can be like having a full West End cast to tea.

Stroppy stuff I tend to respond to in a low-key way, regardless of drama-content. In other words, respond to the crucial content (eg won't put my shoes on) rather than the tone, pitch, embellishment, exaggeration (eg MummmEEEEEEEE! Waaaaaah! There's some mud on my shoe and Cat says she mustn't wear muddy shoes becasue her baby sister will eat it blah blah blah etc')

But sometimes, I use the whole imagination thing to my advantage - and to have fun with her. eg playing Dudley the Scaredy Dog to her Daphne and woofing all the way to pre-school because she gets there happily and fast that way