how should i handle this?

[cheeryface]

i have just discovered that ds2 ( well almost certain anyway) has written his brothers name x3 in biro pen, on my relatively new leather settee.

it was only a couple of months since i found he had written his own name on the windowsill in his bedroom. i didn't go ape but i told him how upset i was about it, made him clean it and removed his pencils from bedroom.

i have just put them back after he assured me he can now be trusted.

am not certain when he has written on the settee.

he is 8.

hairspray.

Oh sorry, you was'nt asking how to remove it

i have a leather cleaning kit that came with it so was thinking of giving ds2 that to clean it with although not sure it will get it off.

just don't want to lose my rag as it always seems to make matters worse with ds2 but by the same token he has to know that this isn't on.

actually i can't believe he's still doing this sort of thing at this age

I would if it was me go mad at him etc etc but you could play a different card-pretend to cry. (Depends how sensitive he is - works a treat with ds1 but not remotely with ds2) When he asks what the matter is I would say "look someone has written on my new sofa which cost me lots of money, and they didn't even say sorry" see what he says etc. Ask him if it was him and then talk about how upset you are etc. What would he think if you broke/damaged his favourite toy?

If not getting anywhere I would mention talking to the headmaster/police about graffiti etc and what the punishments are - oh yes that would be prison!!!!!! I am a mean mean Mummy!!!! But my three children would never ever draw on anything ever again ever!!!!!!

Lol - was worried about posting my message as I thought I sounded a bit ott but loving post before. Not ott at all!!!!!!!

i could take his x box away but i'm not going to because that would also be punishing myself. he gets an hour after school every day on it and he would be goiong absolutely ballistic with no let up i know it.

does that sound daft?

themildmanneredaxemurderer

What a lousy exuse to get firemen into your house

Cheeryface,

I suspect you might get better behaviour if your ds spent an hour after school doing something physically active, rather than playing on the X-box.

I'd explain calmly but very firmly that writing on anything other than paper isn't acceptable.
Then I'd ban the x-box after school. Not as a punishment, but as a general principle. My ds (also 8) has to do some physical stuff (maybe playing ball with the dogs, or his swimming lesson, or I take him to the park to run off the day) before computer time. On days when I can't organise something physical, he plays with toys (lego, meccano, action men etc), which seems to wind him up to naughtyness much less.

well, he came home from school and tried to deny it first off. so, i reminded him how honesty is the best policy, at which he started sobbing and apologising.

he had done it last week whilst sat doing a wordsearch. He was off school as he had a temperature and thats when he'd done it he said.

so, dh mixed up some leather cleaning solution and got him scrubbing. He has mnanaged to make it fade somewhat but not completely shifted.

i decided that he was genuinely remorseful and upset so other than a harsh talking to and the cleaning we didn't do anything else.

But, if this happens again, i will take a diffrent approach and really get him where it hurts (not physically obviously!!)

as far as the x box goes, he is knackered when he gets in from school and it's his wind down before tea. He does karate twice a week, rides his bike and plays golf so with school aswell i think it's enough. He gets up at 6:30am and by the time he gets home at 4pm he wants either the x box or the tv for an hour. i think thats o.k.

I think you handled it well

thanx juuule

games console that i wish i'd never bought!