Anyone been a “one and done” parent, as a young parent?

[ICanoeCanYou]

I had my only DC when I was 18. I’m 34 now and DC is about to turn 16. I always imagined having 1-2 more children when the time felt right, in the right relationship and so on. Now that I’m in my mid 30s I don’t actually know if I DO want any more. I’m in a good relationship, and DP is indifferent too. I just don’t know of any other parents who had an only child when they were so young. All my friends either have young kids now or are TTC and I don’t feel like I ‘fit’ anywhere.

I have a friend who had her only child at 14 and then suffered serious fertility issues. She’s 41 now and could have had IVF (her family was willing to fund as many goes as she wanted) but she and never wanted to try and she’s happy with her decision.

Another friend had a baby at 21 and insisted that was it but then in her mid-thirties got baby fever and had four almost back to back from her mid-thirties to her mid-forties.

I had my first son at 18 now 31 and just given birth to my second in August.. I was terrified with such a large age gap... but it's been great!! Bar COVID! I know what you mean by not fitting in! Do what you feel u want and need

I had my first at 17 and my 2nd at 34! We had tried inbetween this but for ended up having 2 miscarriages, we decided not to try anymore and then by some miracle my 2nd happened. I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Me had my first at 19, I'm nearly 33 now. I don't think I want anymore but I get moments of doubt. Those are mostly fuelled by people around me having babies now I guess.

It's exciting though, career is taking off and hopefully 40-50 years of total freedom to travel etc ahead!

I do know what you mean about not fitting anywhere though. As I'm getting more freedom, my friends are having children and have less freedom. I probably need a second friendship group tbh of people at a similar stage of life who can drop things on a whim to come to the gym/out for meals/spontaneous nights away!

My SIL had hers at around 18. She is very happy in her mid-40s having built up her career since, all sorts of hobbies, and pre-COVID did a lot of traveling and those bucket list type-things. I really admire her even if few of her trips and hobbies have directly appealed to me - she's just really together and content.

I've had some social issues with being mid-thirties with teens, particularly older teens. I'm not a one-and-done, and I do have a friend who has teens with tinies who are really happy with their choice, but I'm much happier since moving out of that stage of life. It's just awkward finding people at the same life stage in a space that fits.