Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Can’t cope with sleep deprivation

20 replies

Cookiecrumbles2020 · 28/10/2020 06:12

My just turned one year old was a fantastic sleeper from newborn until about eight months old. Slept through for 10-11 hours from about six months, occasionally waking for a feed. For the last four months she has been atrocious and I can’t recall the last full night’s sleep I’ve had. She wakes at least five or six times a night and immediately screams when waking. Sometimes I’m up more than that. I’m a single parent and can’t share the load. My arms are breaking from holding her and I’m so sleep deprived trying to hold down a full time job. I won’t bring her into my bed as she crawls about and I’d be terrified she would fall out. I can’t function anymore and starting to hate our relationship. Why is it not getting better?

OP posts:

Qwertywerty3 · 28/10/2020 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

BusterGonad · 28/10/2020 06:23

When I was going through this I put the cot against my bed and soothed my son to sleep by putting my hand through the cot bars, he'd feel comforted and I could sleep knowing nothing terrible could happen.

Disappointedkoala · 28/10/2020 06:27

I reluctantly put DD in bed with me during a similar period and found she settled a lot better - I used to have my arm over her and once she got used to it stopped crawling about so much. It wasn't ideal but it was better than no sleep.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families

Persipan · 28/10/2020 06:32

Is there any way you can rearrange things to have her in with you? Get bed guards for the other side? Push the bed against the wall, or have just the mattress on the floor so there's nowhere she can fall? Even if it would be a daft way of arranging the furniture normally? Desperate times, after all.

Sending you fellow single-mum solidarity. I am not looking forward to when mine begins to crawl; I suspect I'll be faced with a similar problem. Hope things settle for you soon.

Bingbongbinglybong · 28/10/2020 07:10

If you have a double bed, she likely wouldn't fall out if you put a rolled spare duvet or blanket or pillows round the edge of the bed.

Sleep deprivation is awful you have my every sympathy.

Ilovecheese53 · 28/10/2020 07:13

@Qwertywerty3

Is she hungry? Perhaps she’s having a growth spurt. Have you tried giving her milk or water?

If I were you I would push the bed against the wall and put her in bed with you. Nobody can function on such broken sleep. Life is too short to resist bedsharing when the alternative is no sleep.

This what time does she eat? What time does she sleep?

OverTheRainbow88 · 28/10/2020 07:14

How about using a bed guard on the side she would sleep?

By midnight my 20 month old sleeps in with me otherwise he’s awake most the night crying/playing/screaming/laughing/wanting me to shoot myself!

niclw · 28/10/2020 07:15

I feel for you as a fellow single Mum. My DS is a wriggler in his sleep. Even now at 2 I can't trust him to sleep in my bed as he would fall out. I didn't have the option of pushing the bed against the wall as I'd have to use extension leads for electrical items instead which would be trailing so dangerous. I ended up creating a pillow wall down one side of my bed, I then slept on my side with both arms around DS. It wasn't perfect but it gave me a little more sleep. Have you got anyone who can give you a chance to sleep in the daytime for an hour or two? You may not think it now but your DD will unexpectedly sleep one night and you will get the sleep you need.

lemorella · 28/10/2020 07:25

It must be incredibly tough having to cope with this alone so firstly . Sleep deprivation is absolute crap.

Can you set aside a weekend to introduce some gentle sleep training if you feel comfortable? If your little one was previously a great sleeper there was obviously no need for you to do it but you can start now. You really need to commit a few days to it to crack it.

Ohalrightthen · 28/10/2020 08:37

I feel your pain. We did CC at 9 months because i couldn't take it anymore. It was loud and stressful but quick.

Side note - i never fail to be amazed by people's evangelism for cosleeping. OP says "it doesn't work for me" and a whole load of PPs just completely ignore her and she gets very little actually relevant advice!

Abouttimemum · 28/10/2020 09:08

I’d be interested to know the nap/sleep schedule and how she falls asleep initially.
They change a lot during this time and it’s generally when sleep crutches they rely on start to become an issue.

Fattynotfitty · 28/10/2020 09:59

@Ohalrightthen

I feel your pain. We did CC at 9 months because i couldn't take it anymore. It was loud and stressful but quick.

OP said she'd be terrified of her crawling off the bed and hurting herself if she brought her into the bed so people have suggested ways she could make it safer. I tried CC with my DC and she was having none of it, i had the same concerns as the OP once my DC started crawling so i had one end of the bed pushed against the wall and on the other i had a bed guard. She never fell out of the bed and i got so much more sleep. I fully respect there are people who dont want to co-sleep but for some parents its the only option if you want some sleep!

Scubalubs87 · 28/10/2020 10:13

I feel your pain OP. Not the solutions you want, but Our son came into our bed at 13 months after I just returned to work and his sleep went to shit. I was teaching classes having been up from 2am some days. He would be awake for hours at time and having him in bed was the only way for us all to get more sleep. I was always adamant he wouldn't come into our bed but it was just what we had to do at that time to survive. We used to barricade the bed so he couldn't fall out. The only way we cracked his sleeping was to properly sleep train him at 20 months. I wish we'd done it sooner. He now fairly consistently sleeps 7-7 in his own room which honestly seemed like a pipe dream at one point.

Aria999 · 29/10/2020 01:08

I would sleep train at this point.

Original poster

Cookiecrumbles2020 · 04/11/2020 23:00

Hi all. Thanks so much for the advice. I tried her in my bed with me a few times and she never settled, thought it was a game and wouldn’t go to sleep. Was torture. Tried controlled crying, first night was hell of three hours of solid crying with me going back and forth to soothe her. I wanted to die and gave up. I cannot cope. I hate my baby.

OP posts:

hiji3964 · 05/11/2020 12:40

You don't hate her OP, you hate the situation you're in. Try not to blame her as it will result in you getting angry at her for things she can't help. Can you afford a sleep consultant? I've heard some great things, would cost you about £250 I think

lockdownbreakdown · 05/11/2020 12:44

God its brutal isnt it? There is a reason my kid is an only! How about putting the mattress on the floor and bed share safely? It's what the Japanese do.

Tobebythesea · 05/11/2020 19:27

Can you ask your health visitor for advice? Our local hvs have a trained sleep consultant on staff.

Mamabear12 · 05/11/2020 19:52

Have you thought about her diet and milk intake? Is she getting enough during the day? If you give her milk in the night does she go back to sleep?

shazzz1xx · 05/11/2020 22:51

Awww u don’t hate ur baby... I fully understand I’m going thru it too with my 15month old and feel like it’s only me going thru it but loads are going thru it... tonight was torture with the fireworks x

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread