How to help DS 10 stop crying all the time

[Rollercoasteride]

Hi all

I just don't know how to help DS stop crying all the time. I know its good to cry at times, but he cry every day over anything.

It can be over something little at school (like using the wrong pen) or at home or just now at his swimming lesson.

He has always been like this, but the older he is getting the more noticeable.

His class mates have told him, he annoys them crying in class. School are loosing patience with him, he has been through 121 mentoring sessions etc, but he doesn't use the coping strategies they suggest.

Academically he is way ahead so he doesn't need to get upset with the work.

I just dread him going to high school next year!

I feel so sad he is struggling.

Any pointers or suggestions great fully received.

Many Thanks

@Rollercoasteride

IF your son has AN, then it's perfectly possible for his emotional age, i.e. the age at which he can cope with things, to be a good two thirds of his actual chronological age.

Are his reactions more typical of a much younger child, say around 6 or 7? If they are, take the pressure off him and only make the demands of him that you would expect a child of that age to be able to cope with.
NEVER use the phrase 'At your age, I'd expect you to...'

@mintyfreshh I fought and fought for my DD to be assessed from being tiny as she missed her milestones, had speech delay, social communication difficulties, emotionally immature, very poor co-ordination, then school "saw nothing" and said she was "fine" and because I kept on and on and on and on pointing out she was so different to her peers in so many ways, they called me a helicopter parent and treated me as though I had Munchausens by proxy.

She was 10 by the time I managed to convince the GP and Paed there could be a problem (!) 10 years I'd pushed and pushed for that and no-one would listen. She went on to be dxd with many of the co-morbids, but she wasn't given her ASD dx until age 25.

If you have a child who is academically 'okay' and masks well and is not disruptive in a school where they don't give a toss about kids with AN, that's what happens. It's sickening but it's still happening all these years later, as you can see on this thread. The OP has tried twice for referral and been fobbed off, she hasn't just sat around and done nothing.

Thanks for all your support everyone.

He is very social on one hand but socially in appropriate.

He is OK getting ready for school but we do need to remind him to get ready lots. He is happy to go to school which is good.

Emotionally he probably acts about 6ish... academically he is about 12ish.

I have always had to push it with school, he is there star achiever, yeah he cries but is not disruptive in class.

I think if nothing happens after half term with the school, I will look into private. Do schools accept a private diagnosis?

Autism sounds very likely, from the anxiety, overwhelm and meltdowns, right to the social issues (acting younger than his age) and high academic ability.

Throw all this stuff about “mild aspergers” away. “Mild autism” isn’t “easy autism” and is just as worthy of diagnosis and support than any other presentation of autism.

That sounds very stressful for all of you, especially for him. Dont let school fob you off. Be persistent because as you say, it’ll be very hard for him if he cries like this at secondary. Good luck.

@Haworthia thanks. My GP didn't seem concerned...all he said when he is older he will work in a specialised subject!! He is truly awful, and the only GP in the practice.

I know we will end up going privately.

Keep taking him to the gp.

Thanks @1AngelicFruitCake, yes we need to get the right support for him. High school will soon be here