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I don't want to be away from my daughter

2 replies

Lights22 · 23/10/2020 21:12

My daughter is 21 months old. I was on mat leave for 9 months then did a phased return to full time over 2 months. She was exclusively breastfed before weaning and she gave me up at about 16 months. She's never slept through the night, always needed milk to go back to sleep (down from 8 times a night to about 4 now). She goes to nursery full time and is really happy there. Dad is very hands on but she's definitely a mummy's girl.

The thing is, I literally don't want to be away from her or do anything but be with her when she's home. I think my head and heart no there's no alternative for the 37.5+ hours she's at nursery so that's ok, but I simply won't be separated from her when I have her. So things like the housework never gets done (not a huge issue for me tbh) I'll only nip to the shops if she's napping although will occasionally take her, because the way I see it errands can wait. I'll take her to see friends (hers and/or mine) as well as family, but again if it doesn't include her it doesn't happen.

Now on the one hand this is all ok, I'm happy to go with the flow. On the other I feel hugely anxious without her, sometimes I feel physically unwell. I dread tea time as it signals the end of the day is on its way. We're also talking about having baby number 2 but that means I won't be able to keep my focus on my daughter (obvs!) and I think that's making me anxious too. I want a second child so she has a sibling, but if I can't even go to the shop for a pint of milk how on earth can I have another child?!

Anyway, has anyone else ever felt like this and got to the bottom of why? And any ideas what I can do/how I can help myself with this? Thanks 😊 x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Screwcorona · 23/10/2020 21:19

You know what, they're young for such a short time so enjoy having all the time with her when your not at work. As long as you her and your family are happy shouldn't be a problem.
It maybe worth holding of having a second for a little longer if you feel like this though. Your daughter will demand a little more independence in a year or so which could be perfect timing for a second child.

My boy is a totally mummy's boy, I'm pregnant now and he will be 3yr2months when baby arrives. Hes starting to be better at independent play and enjoys some time without me right by his side so I feel like it's a good age for introducing a sibling.

Ohalrightthen · 24/10/2020 10:47

I think you need to talk to your HV and GP and see about getting some extra support. Wanting to spend lots of time with your child is really normal and lovely, but dreading the end of the day and feeling sick about seems quite intense. That must be pretty limiting.

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