Please help - really struggling with newborn and 3 year old - routine advice?!

[espressogin]

I have a 3 week old and a 3 year old and I am struggling with juggling them both. My son goes to pre-school 3 mornings a week but I am seriously struggling to get both of them ready and out of the house on time. Similarly in the evenings - how do I bath and get them both to bed? My DH is very hands-on and so he will often do the bath and bedtime routine with my son but I really don't know how to fit the baby bath into all of this. Since having the baby my son has been really testing and is taking forever to go to bed meaning he is tired and grouchy all the time.

Please tell me this gets easier and share your routines? I am so so frazzled and feel like I have made a mistake having another child which sounds terrible.

Don't bath them in the evenings, wipe them down with a flannel quickly, children (and especially tiny babies) don't need nightly baths.

I promise it gets so much easier. Just cut the chaff from your routine. When mine were little DD had milk, brioche and banana in the morning while I got myself and DS ready, then wiped her down and got her dressed. There was crying and baby feeding in there somewhere too. I tended to have my own breakfast once I got DD off to preschool. Still do, now that we're doing school and nursery runs.

Oh gosh you are 3 weeks in! Be kind to yourself! I don’t think my second child had even had a bath at that point, let alone nightly baths. Let your husband bath the eldest and you flop on the sofa and feed/snuggle the youngest. And in the morning, if it is a struggle getting out of the house, then it’s OK to be late to preschool sometimes. Think back to when your eldest was only 3 weeks old, you weren’t expecting life just to carry in as normal then, so it’s ok to have a period of adjustment now too.

I actually think 3 years age gap is a brilliant gap, and once you get through these first few months I am sure that you will agree.

Morning wake up around 6. Feed baby. Dress baby. Put back down to nap in moses basket. Get up DS. Breakfast and dressed. Packed lunches night before. Take to preschool. Home for another feed.

Evenings. Dinner together. Feed baby after you eat. Scrap bath every night. Just 2 times a week is fine. 6.30 go up stairs. Put baby down. Wash DS get pj's on. Let him play when you feed baby again. Get DH to help with DS.

Rinse and repeat for what feels like forever.
It gets so much easier.
There is a light!!

There will be crying sometimes. But it's OK. You've got this!

We took a "divide and conquer" approach when we had a 2yo and newborn. Morning: DH got up with and sorted the 2yo and himself. I sorted newborn and myself. Sorted = breakfast, potty/nappy change, teeth, get dressed, bag and child taken to and put in car. I then dropped off 3yo at nursery. Bedtime - same approach. DH did the 2yo solo and I sorted the newborn. We found an audio book useful to mask the sound of the baby crying/generally being awake when the 2yo was settling down.

I did think we'd never reach the stage of being able to sort them out alone but not they are 3 and 1 it's fine. Much easier to juggle!

Hang on in there. It gets better!

I didn't bath them every night, so I'd cut that out first.

My first born was also really reluctant to go to bed after her brother was born & I was often cluster feeding him, dad at work so really couldn't fight with her on it. Instead we set up a "tent" (blanket over couch) where she "camped". She would go to sleep easy there while I fed baby and eventually I'd lift her in to her own bed.

At this point, 3 weeks in, please be kind to yourself and really just do whatever gets you through. It's tough but if they're all fed, clothed and getting good hugs they will be fine. Nursery will understand lateness for a little while.

My mum had 7 kids. When I had my second she said the aim should be "everyone fed and nobody dead" for the first little while. So I went with that.

Oh bath-wise - I actually bathed the baby in the morning when the 3yo was at nursery if he needed it. I always found newborns, evenings and baths never really went together due to cluster feeding. Now he's 1 we do bath him in the evening with his sister but evenings are a lot calmer now.

It does get easier!

Children don't need bathing every night.
You could alternate bath night for each child until dc2 is old enough to sit in the bath with dc1 ?
Or bathe baby when dc1 is at nursery or pre-school?
It takes ridiculously long to leave the house but it gets quicker over time- promise!

I’d put baby in sling after a feed in the morning, then get your eldest ready and out to preschool.

Baby bath could be done in the mornings your son is at preschool, or at any times your DH is around to help. I sometimes do both baths together, so while my eldest is in the big bath playing I have the baby in a baby bath in the shower. I think when she was a newborn I was only doing a bath every 2-3 days if I remember right. It’s a crazy time and you will all be adjusting still, don’t worry it gets easier!

Also have 3 year old and 3 month old. It’s tough. We’ve only just started to bathe them at the same time as before then the baby was going to bed much later. (Also they don’t really need bathing, just a bit of a wipe down. At three weeks I think ours probably had one actual bath in the whole week, in the middle of the day.)