Getting baby to accept dummy/ thumb sucking experiences

[MrsMarrio]

Seeking help from experienced mums! I’m a first time mum and I desperately wanted to breastfeed however this didn’t go to plan as my son had low blood sugar when he was first born and he was a big baby so midwives advised me that I would only be able to partial breastfeed and would always need to top up or to just formula feed. To be honest they were awful with breastfeeding in the hospital. So he would be on the boob constantly and no dummy was introduced. Fast forward 16 weeks and I have finally admitted defeat and have started to wean him off and go completely formula fed as my milk supply just never caught up.
He’s just started thumb sucking and I’m worried if this continues as it isn’t a dummy it will become a bad habit to break once he’s going to school. Therefore I’ve been trying to give him a dummy but he just will not accept it, he looks at me like ‘what are you doing to me’, bites down on it, slobbers all over it and pushes it out. I’ll give it a good go with him until he gets fed up then will shove his thumb in his mouth. So any tips with getting him to accept a dummy or positive breaking the thumb sucking habit is much appreciated! Felt like Ive been judged in the family for being the only one to give breastfeeding a go and to not give a dummy, now I want to try a dummy family members are sort of like ‘see I told you so’ and now getting judged for thumb sucking when all I want is a happy content baby! From one very tired pressurised mummy!

My DD had a dummy for 4 years then thumb sucked for a further 6 years when we removed the dummy. A dummy is no guarantee that the thumb won't be used. Ultimately if the baby doesn't want a dummy then i would accept that.

My middle DC was a thumb sucker and stopped himself at about 2/3. I however was a thumb sucker until I got braces at 10. I would just let them go with it tbh, it's really hard to confirm thumb!

Confiscate not confirm

Umm I'm a forty year old who still sucks my thumb when I'm alone..or asleep. My childhood was full of stop n grow thumb paint, slapped hands and a constant theme tune of "Get it out your mouth".
It isn't something you can stop someone doing tbh.

Felt like Ive been judged in the family for being the only one to give breastfeeding a go and to not give a dummy, now I want to try a dummy family members are sort of like ‘see I told you so’ and now getting judged for thumb sucking when all I want is a happy content baby! From one very tired pressurised mummy!

You can ignore the feeling of being judged and the advice of people who are judging you!

@lilmishap I can try to ignore but it’s hard to when family members bring it up every time I see them! My wonderful MIL, so trying to bite my lip to keep the peace!

This would be a good time to establish your boundaries by gently telling her this is your baby who is thumb sucking to self soothe, which is fine and you heard her the last few times she brought it up.

Getting rid of a dummy can be a nightmare for you and baby/toddler and MOST kids grow out of it (or learn not to do it in front of people who moan about it!) before school.

My DD sucked her thumb for a few weeks around that age but stopped completely & now at 8 months doesn’t do it at all. Of course hard to know if she’ll start again but maybe don’t panic just yet. Dummies can come with a lot of hassle too so it may not be the magic cure

I hate dummies and no child of mine will ever have one. My son sucked his thumb but stopped all by himself before he turned 1.

Also we're in a pandemic and well meaning mothers in law are likely to pick up the dummy when it drops on the floor, look at it and then (regardless of if they see fluff or not) they will pop into their own mouth for a 'clean' before putting it into your babies mouth. It's not just Mother in laws it's most adults who will do that. Without thinking.
Don't worry about baby not wanting a dummy, it's a good thing.

He's well and truly thumb sucking now, dummies were a no go. Now it's a nightmare to get him to sleep as he's not very coordinated and will miss his mouth by a mile, try and shove very finger in his mouth other than his thumb or accidentally knock his thumb out of him mouth with his other hand but he wont go to sleep without his thumb. Fantastic. Don't think his needles helped as he went very unsettled.

He was likely doing it in the womb, ther's less space in there to lose a hand! have patience his co-ordination will improve and he is trying to self soothe.

It's handy he won't go to sleep without his thumb though, as it's always in his hand. (Ba Dom Tish!)

You hear horror stories about parents getting up all night because the baby has lost their dummy and wants it back. Plus it’s another thing to have to sterilise and remember. My second baby sucked her thumb as a newborn but stopped after a couple of months.

I tried so hard to give my breastfed DS a soother but it never worked . Randomly at 3 months old he started to suck his thumb. I have mixed thoughts on this as the thumb is absolutely fantastic at self soothing and he’s a great sleeper and has been since 3 months ( he’s 20 months now ). However I sucked my thumb until I was 12 and I needed braces to fix my teeth . I’m hoping I’ll be more successful than my parents were with “taking” the thumb away when we reach that point . I don’t think you can teach a baby to suck it’s own thumb though , nor would I want to .

A dummy brings all its own problems if your baby sucks it's thumb be grateful that it has a nice comforter.

My boy never wanted a dummy and tbh I'm quite glad about that. It's just something else to wean off later.

Just parent the way you want to and ignore everyone else. They've had their chance. This is your time to be in control x

My DS was sucking his thumb during my 20 week scan. He is now 2 years old and still does so. I'm not a fan of dummy's after seeing my godson still relying on his at 4 years old so was adamant I wouldnt use one. Despite this I became desperate to get DS to settle when only a few weeks old so tried a dummy as HV and my parents insisted it would help but he just refused. I'm not worried about his thumb sucking though as he only does it for comfort and when tired. I also used to suck my thumb but just grew out of it. However my friend (40 years old) still sucks hers. Don't feel pressured into doing/trying anything. At the end of the day the decision is yours and not anyone elses.

@MichelleOR84 yes, he's randomly started just before 16 weeks and have those exact same concerns about teeth! DH SS sucked her thumb until late into her teens and DH used to hate seeing her do it as she was in secondary school so he has very mixed feeling about DS doing it. But he finds it quite cute at the moment

@lilmishap you know you sterilise everything for some idiotic adult to slobber all over something a newborn is going to put in there mouth.

@Debradoyourecall my SIL said that she was forever getting up in the night finding the dummy DN had lost and was crying for. My son now sleeps 23:00-08:00, he's slept through since 6 weeks but longer now he can shove his thumb in his mouth!

@Horehound well with another lockdown I don't have to deal with them so fuck 'em!

Lol that's the spirit!

A dummy won't prevent thumb sucking and babies don't need a dummy to not thumb suck, so if he's not interested, I'd just leave it be. But for my one who did have a dummy (the other not interested and has never sucked his thumb), we used the cherry dummies, not the orthodontic ones, as those are pretty rubbish. And I would offer it to her and then hold her facing inward to my breast, so it was literally like she was bf for comfort. Worked great, she was content (also ff after the first few weeks), and we took it away when she was 2, no big deal.

@MrsMarrio there you go - sounds like you’re already doing great, you don’t need a situation like your SIL had!

The hospital didn't recommend a dummy because health professionals generally don't. From the sound of it you are going to have to get used to going against the family norm. It sounds like the no breastfeeding, straight to a dummy would move on to a jar of dinner and a jar of pudding twice a day when it's time to wean rather than making food at home and a full size mars bar being the norm age 2. Sorry if that's harsh but unfortunately seems to be the way it's done in some families. It's time to break those norms!