Advice on weaning off breastfeeding at 1 year?

[Fivebyfive2]

Hi all!

I'm a ftm to a 10 month old ds who is breastfed and also a pretty good eater, so far at least!

At the moment I feed him about an hour before his meals (although he only usually has a really quick feed) and to sleep for naps and bedtime, plus in the night as needed; the night waking has reduced a fair bit recently, thank God!

I'd really like to start weaning him off once he's a year old. I'll be back at work (although only 2-3 days a week) and I just feel ready to stop!

My question is... How?! In the day he's not too fussed and I'm sure the nap feeds are more for comfort than anything because he will sleep in the car or buggy and doesn't seem fussed about missing a feed here and there. I offer before his meals because of NHS advice, but honestly if I didn't offer, I'm not sure he'd be that upset? So, once he's 1 and can have cows milk, where do I start?

I was thinking of trying to cut the nap feeds first, maybe try just a cuddle and a cup of warm milk instead? Possibly try similar for the bed time a little later? I could replace other day feeds with cows milk or a yoghurt or something I think. And handle the night waking last, maybe send dh in instead to comfort him, with water to see if he takes any? I've heard of 'never offer, never refuse' as a start to gentle weaning, would anyone recommend taking that route?

Any advice will be a help, no one in mine or dhs family has breastfed, the only person irl I know who did it for about a year has just had her 2nd baby so I don't want to bug her! I was part of a bf support group (on fb since lock down) but to be honest a lot of them are quite hardcore and when I posted the same thing there I had quite a few 'why can't you just wait for him to wean naturally' etc... That's fine for people that want to but I just feel like a year is enough for me... Hope that doesn't make me sound awful?!

I did the same at a year for both of ours - we timed it for a weekend and DH got DD/DS out of the cot when they woke and took them straight downstairs to breakfast. They had a cup of cow’s milk and breakfast straight away so they didn’t get hungrier and cross, and neither ever looked back. I took a lie in for a couple of mornings and DH also did the bedtime routine those days, so breastfeeding wasn’t an obvious option but then when I started to be around again they still didn’t ask for it. For them at least, it was habit rather than need by that point and they gave it up without a murmur. I was half disappointed the first time - it was obviously wonderful that they were so absolutely ready and taking it in their stride, but I was also slightly miffed to be so easily replaced by a plastic beaker and independence :)

And - we’ll done and congratulations for getting this far. Any feeding is good feeding for a baby as long as they’re happy, but breastfeeding can be a hard slog for mums and without lots of people around you who have done it yourself, you have maybe had to figure it out for yourself more than some people.
I stopped automatically offering at mealtimes around 9 months, cutting back a meal at time so I was only offering mornings and before bath at night by 11 months or so. I didn’t get particularly sore when I stopped, so I think they were not taking much at all by the end point.

I'd say stop offering before meals. By 10 months both mine were only feeding morning, night and after their nap.

Try not offering, but not refusing at those times.

For naps, change it round a bit. I fed to sleep until that stopped working at 9 months. Then I'd swap round the feed and bed time story. That helped to dissociate the feed and sleep.

I did some gentle sleep training for naps and worked on routine and other sleep cues.

Then at 13 months when I stopped with my eldest, I just stopped. I went cold turkey and offered soya milk in a cup instead.

I let my daughter feed until she stopped herself at 17 months, but she was down to one feed a day by that point

I stopped feeding at 13m with dc2. I had to because I was taking very strong antibiotics. It was much easier than I thought. I just said the milkies had gone away and dc was quite accepting of this and didn't take long to stop asking.
Dc1 stopped himself at 10m and dc3 is still very small and still feeding!

I wanted to wean at 12 months.

At 11 months I cut down to 3 feeds a day. First thing, after lunch and bedtime.

2 weeks later I cut the after lunch feed.

At 12 months I cut the morning feed. DH gave a bottle in bed for 3-4 days. Then I would give her the bottle. No issues. She only asked for boob once & was easily distracted by the bottle.

At 12 months started offering bottle before boob at bedtime. At exactly 13 months she didn't ask for boob, I didn't offer. And that was the last time I fed her. She's now 15 months.

I had always fed to sleep (bedtime) and put her in the cot. If she woke I'd pat and shhh. Once I stopped breastfeeding. I'd just pat shhhh and stay with her till she went to sleep. It's now got to the point I can put her in the cot and leave after 2 mins. She'll roll around a bit but normally be asleep in less than 6-7 mins. Doesn't cry.

This kid was a huge boob monster and I didn't expect the weaning or sleep etc to be as easy as it was. I spent a lot of time panicking about weaning.

If it helps I’ve found that DD (13 months) has naturally reduced her BF over the past month. Night feeds stopped after sleep training at 11 months and apart from a morning and pre bed feed (which are the ones I’d like to continue with if she wants them!) I’ve gone with ‘don’t offer, but don’t refuse’. The busier she’s become, the less bothered she is about wanting a breastfeed, and copes absolutely fine at nursery the days I am at work, without any milk. It’s almost happened without us realising it, and she was such a boob monster I thought I’d never be able to leave her!