Book recommendation for first time parent, especially on sleep training

[Fink]

Hi all,

My sister is pregnant and obviously we’re all delighted. I have quite a different parenting style from what hers looks like it might be (hard to tell until she’s actually got a baby!) and we’ve been chatting about stuff like sleep training. She asked for recommendations of things to read to get more of an idea of my side of things as all the stuff she reads at the moment is advocating controlled crying from 4 months, which horrified me. She’s not going to go for anything full-on attachment parenting and that looks too much like it buys into a whole lifestyle of cloth nappies, long-term EBF (without expressing) & sling wearing etc. That was my way, and it’s not hers, which is fine. But if there’s anything she could read that would be anti-controlled crying at a young age without coming across as completely hippyish, that would be great. She likes factual information – data, graphs, analysis – rather than an opinion piece. Any ideas?

Not a book but Durham university have done studies into sleep. They have a website for parents;
www.basisonline.org.uk/

I would recommend this www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Baby-Week-ultimate-UPDATED/dp/0091910552?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I’m a FTM to a 5 month old and thought it was great. In weekly chunks and quite factual and each week is divided into feeding, sleeping, development, what’s happening to mum, safety tips, when to see a doctor and planning ahead.

Thanks, I'll take a look at both. I thought the Your Baby Week advocated cry it out? Or maybe there's a new version out where they got rid of that? The website looks great - as someone with connections to Durham I'm proud it's them that did it!

@Fink I would say it gives you some options for gentle sleep training and encouraging self settling (more putting down drowsy and pat shhh not cry it out) but it also does say that not sleeping for long periods is completely normal (and tough!).

I thought the Your Baby Week advocated cry it out?

It definitely doesn’t advocate it - IIRC it gives quite a balanced view, saying there are experts for and against, and recommends not using it unless it’s as an absolute last resort. Then it tells you how to do it if you do want to go down that route.

Literally just read week 24 and as per pp talks you through it at the very end of you chose to do it.

Ok, thanks. I'll check it out.

Can I just ask what expressing has got to do with anything?

@June628

Can I just ask what expressing has got to do with anything?

Just as an example that she takes a moderate position on most baby-related things and isn't going for one 'philosophy' as such. So she'll try breastfeeding but has no intention of always being with the baby and will want to express and leave milk for others to do feeds.

I think the updated book by Ferber (as in the Ferber sleep training method of leaving them for extended periods of time between checking in) has a disclaimer at the start that the method should be used for 1 year and up? Apparently they originally wrote it for 6 months and up, but it's been revised following new research.