Toddler pushing at nursery

[Bearlyawake]

DS is 19 months old. He started back at nursery over the summer, he was only there for a few weeks before lockdown started.

He settled back in quite well, but lately when we go to pick him up the staff have reported that he's been pushing other children. They tell him not too etc. One day he was told off for hitting as well, pushing seems to be a more persistent thing.

It's getting a bit mortifying picking him up, I feel awful. He doesn't have siblings and doesn't push us so we obviously can't tell him off for something he's not doing to us, so I feel a bit powerless.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any suggestions how to tackle it or do I just accept its a phase and he will grow out of it?!

You can’t do anything about it unless he does it in front of you. Punishments long after the fact don’t really work on kids that young. Maybe take him to toddler groups or classes and see if he does it there - if so you can tell him to stop and show him how to be gentler.

We had a situation where my DD frequently had things snatched off her at nursery and she didn't stand up for herself. It was actually the teachers who picked up on this and whilst they helped her whilst she was there; they asked us to role play at home to help her stand up for herself a little more. We only had to do this a handful of times before she got the gist, but DH and I would take turns to snatch something off the other in front of her and then say something along the lines of "I am still playing with that, please don't snatch." Then take it back off. Maybe you could try that? Play out that it's not nice; it's not kind and it could hurt people if he pushes.

Solidarity- we’re having the same with pushing and biting with my two year old. Nursery are being v nice and say it’s just a phase, but it’s pretty embarrassing and hard not to take personally!

I would ask them how they are handling it. If they are a good nursery, they will have a process in plan for dealing with any sort of behaviour issues. Pushing, biting, snatching, etc. is a pretty normal thing for toddlers as they are learning social rules, so this will not be the first time they've dealt with it and they should be the ones tackling it. I would ask them what their approach is and what they would like you to do at home, if it happens (say, at the playground or something), so that you can both be consistent. But really, it's very normal and nothing to be upset about.