Please help old bully dilemma

[veraismyspiritanimal]

So when I was younger my life was made a misery by a certain person at school. Unfortunately my heart sank when my DD started school this year and I saw the bully on the playground with their DD. Turns out they are in the same class. This was triggering enough but now the bully is accusing my child of bullying theirs. DD is a very good natured child and their teacher tells me she gets on with all the other children and is kind so this has come as a massive shock. I feel this is just another way to make my life a misery even now we are 30 years down the line. To top it off bully and family are known troublemakers in the local area and have a massive history of anti social behaviour domestic abuse etc
I don't even know where to start but moving schools is certainly not an option

Is she making accusations to you or to the school? If she's coming to you with it I would just keep directing her to take it up with the school if she's saying it happens at school and shut the conversation down if she tries to talk to you.

What a nightmare op. I'm sorry to hear this. I was badly bullied at my high school and now 30 years on I do occasionally come across a couple of the bullies but I'm lucky their kids aren't at our school. I'd def take it up with the school. If the family are known trouble makers and your DD is well liked then there's no doubt they'll come down on your side anyway.
Good luck.

Protect your daughter and your own mental health and find another school.

No we can't just find another school

My daughter has many friends there and also goes to the after school club on site

Like @Flump9 asked, what is actually happening? Are they making complaints to you in the playground, to teacher or something else?

The bully confronted my OH at school pick up and said DD was making her DD's life a misery. Ironic really

Bless you OP. I’m thinking the school will see straight through this. Don’t engage with parent. Keep everything between you and the school. Advise your DD to stay away from other child so accusations can’t be made. Ask the school to make sure they are not sat together in class etc. You got this!!

Our school rules prohibit parents from accosting other parents this way. I’m sure yours do to. If they say anything to you or your husband, remind them of this and tell them to take it up with the school. Just don’t engage OP.

Your dd is probably completely innocent and the bully mum is inventing it to continue the bullying like you say. Can you go in and speak to the teacher and let her know you were bullied by the mum?

If I were you I’d arrange a meeting with the headteacher and glass teacher and be totally open with them. If they know the full story they will be better placed to deal with it in a sensible and sensitive manner. Is it a large school ie is it possible for the children to be in different classes? Hopefully school will be able to nip it in the bud and ensure that the bully mum doesn’t overstep the mark again.