Mil getting clothes for baby that are very old fashioned. Should I be honest with her and tell her what I like?

[alesha123445]

Hi everyone, I love my mil theres no bad blood I'm just wondering if I should be honest with her about the clothes shes buying. To me she has bad baby fashion sense and shes buting lots of clothes for Christmas. She buys really dark, extremely patterned and old fashioned clothes. If I went online and ranked the ugliest to the prettiest, shed always get the ugliest. I nod and say thank you and seem grateful, she seems so excited explaining how nice itd look with tights or a nice pair of socks.. but I'll never put by baby in them so it's a waste of her money and clothes my baby could be wearing. Should i be honest with her and tell her i like lighter coloured clothes that doesnt have such extreme patterns, I dont want to hurt her feelings but I think her actually relising they are now 2 sizes small and never worn would too.

I will put her in a few so I can take a pic for her though.

I would just put her in them when mil visits and for photos, then when dd is older you can use that to direct mil by saying dd will not wear x colour/pattern/style she prefers a, b or c.

I’d say it’s not worth hurting her feelings over. She sounds sweet and with good intentions. Smile, say thank you, take a photo for her then shove them in a drawer. I know it’s frustrating if they keep coming but still don’t think it’s worth upsetting anyone over.

Can you let drop some big hints about how baby has SOOOO many clothes at the moment, you’re worried they won’t all get worn. And drop some hints about a lovely toy baby might like for Christmas instead?

Or if you want to address it, get your husband to talk with her, rather than you doing it yourself. She’s less likely to hold it against her son if she does get upset.

Can you steer her in the direction of toys instead? I'd just dress the baby in them when she visits ect

Can you just return them and exchange them for something you do like?

Or suggest to MIL that you go shopping with her for baby clothes and then just direct her in the way of things you like.

My mil is a bit like that as well- out of all the nice clothes, she will pick the ugliest. She will also comment on how well I always dress my child and how nice and smart he always looks. I used to say thank you and just dress my DS up with the clothes she gave and take photos and send it to her and later give it to the baby bank and if she ever asked about it, I would say baby no longer fits in it.

I would just put your baby in them as long as they fit and are comfortable. Old fashioned clothes tend to be expensive so they must be fairly decent quality.

I really want to see the clothes

My MIL has bought some humdingers over the years, a string bikini for a six month old baby was a low point!
Most things I'd just put on when the kids were visiting PIL without me

Put the baby in them whenever MIL will see her. That’s all MIL is buying them for really, to see her grandchild in them. They’re not for you.

I agree with above.

Put baby in her minging gear for 5 mins, take a photo and send to mil, then give away the clothes. Done.

String bikini for a baby?

Where did she get that from?

I don’t know, I’d prefer to know I was wasting my money if they were never going to get worn tbh.

I like my kids to look like they’ve been involved in a small explosion in a crayon factory, but my sister likes ditsy prints and pale colours. I bear that in mind when I’m buying stuff for my niece and I’d hate for my sister to pretend to like something which wasn’t her style.

My Grandma used to knit clothes for me. Lots of bibs on jumpers, Peter Pan collars, peach and pink, lace. My Mum wasn't very keen but dressed me in them for photos and visits. I've still got some of the outfits and dressed my children in them too. They're wrapped in tissue paper and in storage now but I have such fondness for them.

Personally I wouldn't put your DC in the clothes just for the sake of a photo - they're worth far more to the charity shop etc if they are unworn so it seems a waste otherwise.

I'd try the "we've got so many clothes that X grows out of the size before we've even worn some of them"......... if you're asked, I'd say that it was very kind of her but you tended to end up picking different things and you don't want to waste her money ............ how about books (if she asks what else she can get).

How bad are they? I received some clothes that were not to my taste but they just got worn around the house or when the giftor was visiting. I hate waste so they got used. Just not as much as my favourite outfits.

Just put them on your DC when MIL visits. I wouldn’t say anything but I’d gradually try to steer her towards items you like more eg if she gives you a slightly less ‘ugly’ item, say something like “That’s lovely - I do love lighter colours for young babies” or whatever.

I don’t think it’s worth hurting her feelings unless something is totally hideous or inappropriate.

Dark and patterned will be great for weaning misses point of thread

A baby in light clothes??
Your mil seems to have a better idea than you op!!

Well she sounds lovely so I would risk upsetting her over this! They are only clothes.
Go with the above advise and be thankful she loves your child.
Many children don't get this love.
Pick your battles and this ain't one of them.

Take a picture and dispose is so patronising. MIL wants to feel part of the family not some loooney relative to be tolerated.
As a buyer of said gifts to the unfiltered response of ‘rank!’ I would say. Be very specific: style and colour, and if that elicits no comprehension offer to go shopping with her. There is massive pleasure in being able to buy a grandchild clothing (that you might have not been able to afford for your own children) and the waste is ridiculous to take a picture and then dispose of it .
Alternatively put a bunch o stuff you like online in the shopping basket and let her choose what she buys. Win win all round. And a little respect.

"...or when the giftor was visiting."

What new MN hell-word is this?

I just use clothes like that as messy play/nursery clothes. Light clothes aren't always practical for that sort of thing and as your dd doesn't know what she's wearing yet I think it's not worth upsetting anyone over.

Ahhh come in post a pic of clothes

As a MIL I would rather be told if my DIL didn't like what I was buying. She smiles and says it's lovely but we never see the GC in anything we've bought.

She has totally different taste to me and I do try to get the sort of things she likes, but if she won't say then I'm none the wiser.

My MIL used to buy my DD those flouncy frilly nylon dresses. Nothing could be as bad as that.

MIL bought DD1 a dark burgundy dress with lots of frills and cream lace and matching hat, not last century old fashioned, proper old fashioned like 1830's, and gave it to her the week before her 1st birthday so to be kind I dressed DD in it for the birthday party. To be fair, it didn't look as bad on the hanger as it look on DD - she looked completely washed out in it. There was no need to say anything, MIL realised it didn't suit DD's looks or personality (or shoes and tights).

Roll on 3 years, MIL bought DD2 the most beautiful modern shocking pink dress, beautiful quality, DD wore it lots and was upset when it just wouldn't fit anymore. That was one of the few baby things I didn't pass on to anyone, it's still in the wardrobe.

@THisbackwithavengeance
She bought it on a Caribbean holiday, it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, bright pink and orange with tiny triangles of fabric. Would've looked great over a swim nappy