Did you find your first baby or second easier?

[Lifestooshort1542]

On the fence about whether to go for it and have a second baby, DS is 3.5 and for so many reasons we would love another but I can't help but thinking how our lives will change again. We now have a great routine, DD sleeps so well bed at 7pm no problem loves his bed and going to sleep so we enjoy our evenings again, a baby would of course change all this.
I keep thinking to how it was when DS was a baby our lives as we knew it were turned upside down but now we have that routine in place or feeding DS at dinner time with us, toys round the house, leaving the house with a child and picking things I think it may be easier second time round as a baby would just fit it as allowed to your whole lives changing after not having a baby it's a big change.
What have people found second babies/children easier or harder than welcoming your first baby and getting into routine? X

My first baby was probably an easier baby than my second but at least the second time around you know everything is temporary and it will all pass. The lack of sleep and a toddler is killing me at the moment though. It will pass, it will pass (repeats)

Interesting thread OP, I’m due number 2 soon and I keep looking at dd3 thinking wow she’s so easy now. I’m sure it’s harder having to split time but I hope some experience means I will know to rest, not sweat the small stuff and trust all the crap times pass. I remember my sister saying when I used to obsess over naps “if you had another child to get somewhere you wouldn’t be so rigid”...that will be true.

My second was easier for a number of reasons. Firstly, DS was a nightmare sleeper, colicky, pretty damn miserable for a while and I found the whole adjustment really hard. With hindsight I probably had PND and I could have made my own life much easier!

3 years later DD was more routine based, slept so much better and as long as I didn't let her get too hungry was a dream (she still gets hangry aged 18!). Again hindsight tells me I managed her differently because I knew more than when I had DS...

2nd was so much easier for me but my first was so hard. He had colic and would cry for hours,
Second was a dream but I think because we were more experienced parents too

Second much much easier mostly for same reasons as Wimbledon

Second baby was easier as a little baby. But once 12 months old then def first baby!!

Both my DS's have been fairly good babies. Very happy, very contented but DS2 (just turned 1) until recently did not like to sleep. He now goes to bed at 6:30pm and we finally have evenings to ourselves again. It's only taken a year and things are finally beginning to feel normal again. We don't need to drag bottles around any more because he eats food, all we bring out now is a sippy cup, a bib and nappies.

At the time it feels like the stages will never end, but it felt a lot quicker with DS2. Although being in lockdown from just before he turned 5 months made a massive difference. Being able to stop, and not do anything but concentrate on him and DS1 (4) means we are all a lot more comfortable with each other.

2nd was much easier. (much) easier baby as slept and I knew what I was doing/more relaxed.

I found the first 6 months easier second time round, as it was less of a shock and you realise things are temporary a bit more. 6-12m I found harder second time round as then I had 2 with different needs and I felt like I didn't have any time left for myself.

Have to say my first was a doddle but I went to hospital as was frightened to have her at home.

My second came so quickly there was no chance of having him at hospital and he ended up being a home birth.

Both were different experiences but neither one did I find easier than the other.

I think I was born to produce babies but unfortunately I only got to produce two.

My first baby was the easiest baby in the world (apart from my third, more on her I'm a minute) and I was probably a bit smug. He's still really quite easy now and he's 5.

My second was like a punch in the face. Honestly he is hard work in many ways and has been from the day he was born. He is beautiful and smart and really funny, but hard hard hard work. I am no longer smug.

My third baby is perfection. If you could ask for the perfect baby, she is it. I am very very lucky, because I couldn't have done a newborn like my second again.

So I think you get what you get. It's not your parenting necessarily, often it's just their nature. Ironically, my middle child's most annoying traits are the things he shares with me, so I can't blame him!

My first baby was a dream, slept through from a very early age, FF in a routine, very laid back and easy going.

My second has been hard work. Premature, poorly a lot in the first year, breast fed on demand for over a year, constantly. Didn't sleep through until 2 years old and the naughtiest boy in the world but I love every last bit of him and wouldn't change him for the world. It's been hard but filled with joy too.

DC2 was easy as pie compared with DC1. Still is!

DC2 an absolute textbook angel baby, slept through within 2 months and barely ever cried. Easiest baby on earth. Much easier than DC1 with colic, who was miserable until he could move around by himself. He was much more difficult sleep-wise and I thought I was just crap but I think it’s just the way he was. 2 year age gap and both a delight now they’re in primary school. If I could guarantee a baby like DC2 I’d be tempted to go for a third but if I got another colicky non sleeper that would probably kill me off so I can’t risk it

Second was easier, absolutely no question. DC1 was one of the worst sleepers in the history of babies ever (10 minute long naps, waking hourly at night, up for the day at 4am - he didn’t really sleep well until he was about 3) so looking back I’m amazed we even considered a second but DC2 was a much better sleeper, so I felt much better in myself and able to cope with things generally.

Second was easier the first year or so. Since then he is a complete hurricane and I spend a lot of time in awe of his ability to destroy a room in a matter of seconds.

First was a much harder baby (reflux, non sleeper) but an absolute angel now at 3 years old.

First was easier...an absolute dream baby.

Second was exhausting. A toddler and a newborn nearly finished me off.

But it's a phase and I'm so happy I have two now

Ds2 is currently 17 weeks. So far its much easier with him and a 4.5 year old than ds was alone. He had undiagnosed reflux, screamed 24/7 and hardly slept. I feel less nervous this time, when he cries i know the reasons to look for. Theres no reflux. He sleeps (well 3 feeds at night but bf laid down and comfortable co sleeping this time) knowing what you're doing helps so much.

First was easier
Partly because I didn't have another... I think it's hard to tell whether he was more fussy because he got less attention or if he was naturally fussy

Second was easier because I was a lot more forgiving on myself, and she didn’t have colic and I didn’t have PND but I also think both of those things were exacerbated because I was such a stress head first time mum.

Having said that DC1 is by far the easier child!!

DD2 was nocturnal for first ten days and from then on she slept through the night. Dd1 didn't sleep through until 3 months. Just go for it.

My first was actually a very easy baby until about 1 and didn’t really cry, entertained himself and slept well. However I found the change of having a baby incredibly difficult and I didn’t really enjoy it at all. I felt completely overwhelmed and tbh had no idea what I was doing half the time!

My 2nd was in hindsight a much higher needs baby, she would only sleep on me for the first 9 months and wanted to be held constantly or she cried. However she was easily settled as long as she was near me and I felt I had a much stronger instinct with what to do and what she wanted. I’ve really enjoyed her babyhood and made the most of it even though she was an awful sleeper and very demanding! I also cared a lot less what people said and took other people’s advice with a pinch of salt and did what I wanted as I had the confidence in my own parenting.

My first just didn't sleep,she only reliably went to bed and slept all night when she turned 4... My second is a dream in comparison, I think partly because I'm used to being a parent

Should've said that I had a bit of a gap between mine (6.5 years) and the second might've seemed more difficult because I was used to the easier life with a six year old!

Neither was easier, they presented different challenges. There will always be upheaval, sleep deprivation, hormones etc. But the second HAD to fit round us due to DD being at school so I had less space to be paralysed by worry as existing routines had to be maintained.

I think for me, I think about it in terms of what we've gained longterm. Even if the baby bit is harder 2nd time round, looking back, it's a brief sneeze of time and I now have two children with their own relationship and support system and the early days are a distant memory.

The question is, do you want another one? You can't predict how easy or hard they'll be but there is a bottom line. Do you want a baby?