I'm at a loss for words. Help!
I have a 12 year old stepson. His mom and dad were never married, and separated when he was less than one. His mom remarried shortly after and had another child a couple of years later. Her new husband has a son as well. I met his dad when he was 3.5. We got married a year and half later and now have two other kids. My stepson lives with his mom. We get him every Thursday and every other weekend. We alternate holidays and switch weekly during the summer.
We have had issues from day one coparenting. I won't get into that unless it applies to this situation because I don't want to create bias. I need unbiased help here.
Situation:
My stepson just called us (right after school) to ask for help with homework. This is the first time I've witnessed this happening, but my husband says they've been doing this over FaceTime for a couple of weeks. My stepson hides in his room and calls quietly... no texts (because those can be traced by his mother). She has already made it clear (verbally) that she is not interested in helping with homework; however, she gets really angry when we talk to his teachers about his school work or anything like that. I should also mention, my stepson has been diagnosed ADHD, but she has had him stop taking his medicine. Her significant other sees him being on an individualized education plan as a weakness (he is military and treats my stepson very militantly).
We have tried to ask his mother to meet with us to discuss our son and she will not. She will only speak to us via text or phone call. The problem with that is, she will likely hang up the second we say something she isn't a fan of.
Anybody else in this type of situation? What can we do besides continue to FaceTime him and help him? TIA.