9 month old not crawling or babbling

[WorryingFTM]

Hi I am awash with worry; it's really starting to get to me!

My DD just turned 9 months old. She sits well unsupported and will reach for toys but HATES being on her tummy, she just rolls out. She doesn't attempt to go on her knees or make any attempts towards crawling.

Further to this, she is not babbling like the other babies of her age in her baby group. She makes lots of vowel sounds and sometimes the odd consonant sound but never a string of canonical babbling, such as bababa. I've heard lots of people say, early talker/walker but what do I do if I have neither?

I feel like a terrible mother and am at the very end of the rope. We read together, sing, babble, talk and I use motherese. I give her plenty of floor time and encourage her with a wide range of toys but she seems stuck in this seated position.

I don't know where to go from here? I just assumed that because my husband and I are intelligent, we would also have a baby who was a smart cookie. I'm ashamed to admit that but I don't know what to do, whether I should worry, whether she is going to be slow forever, whether she will catch up or if I need to get her some help. I would love to hear some stories from fellow mums or advice.

Thank you x

Just because a baby doesn't do something when you think they're "supposed" to doesn't mean there is something wrong and has nothing to do with intelligence. My oldest didn't crawl until 11 months, walked at 16 months and only started to talk "properly" this past year when he turned 3 and started nursery.
My dd is 16 months old and has never crawled (not a milestone as far as I'm aware). She bum shuffled from around a year old and has Benn walking for around 6 weeks. She doesn't say any words yet but has excellent understanding. Nothing to worry about. In the kindest way, I suggest you stop comparing your baby to others. Unless there are underlying issues, all children can pretty much do the same things by time they go to nursery.

I wasted a lot of my son's first year comparing and worrying. At 9 months you have nothing to worry about at all. I've seen loads of babies over the last 3 years and they've all developed completely different.

Mine was first to walk, last to talk etc so you just can't tell what's around the corner.

Enjoy your baby!

I’m sure all is absolutely fine op! Babies do what they do and haven’t read the memo

This said, my dd had glue ear and with hindsight I feel like she didn’t bubble as much as I would have expected. Might be worth pushing for a hearing test?

She had grommets at 1 year and then was talking brilliantly by two

I totally get the stress because I worried about dd too

Thank you both. I'm just so stressed by her lack of development that it's really getting me down and it's really hard to turn that worry off 😪

Thank you for this, her hearing appears to be great but I may ring the GP and push for a hearing test just to see 😊

My nine month old has been given an appointment for her one year check up with the HV - have you had a date set for this yet? The HV should be able to reassure you. We’re having it a bit early at 11 months.

My nine month old isn’t babbling either, she just smiles a lot.

I wasted so much late night agonising op. I really wish I’d just gone to hv and shared my worries straight away and said could it be hearing. With my dd I wasn’t getting a lot of reaction because she couldn’t hear! But I thought she could because she was turning to listen to our dog barking etc.

I didn’t realise with deafness you can sometimes hear some sound frequencies and not others

I did lots of early intervention type stuff with my dd just in case. Denver method is brilliant for this, as is the haven book it takes two to talk - these are more for 18 months onwards. It sounds like you are doing all the right things - singing, talking, spending time together

I’m so sorry about the stupid cake - that was meant to be

And the book is by Hannen and is available cheapest online from the Wilmslow Press - lists of really good activities for toddlers to encourage speech. For later not at this stage

Both my two hated tummy time, and my eldest never crawled at all! She just sat like a little Buddha until she learned to walk. My youngest wasn’t a chatty baby or toddler but she won’t shut up now!

Are you putting her in a seated position or is she getting there herself?

I put her there myself

Thank you for this, I shall buy both! X

You sound more upset that you and your husband are intelligent and your DD isn't able to keep up with the jones'

All babies go at their own pace, some practice for months and gradually do it and others will just up and take steps with no warning. It sounds like you could use a chat with your HV to relieve your anxiety around this though, and remember that they learn through play so lighten up and enjoy her while you can. You only get this age and stage once

Sounds like we are in the same boat. No date yet but I shall see if I can book one in. Thanks 😊

My cousins son was virtually deaf and almost blind and nobody picked it up until he was almost 2 which is a disgrace and now he has a lot of developmental delay. These checks should always be done if any delay is expected.
My own son who is now 40 was behind in every single developmental milestone and did badly at school, turned out also to have extremely poor eyesight but turned it around during A levels, got a degree and now has a career as a fine artist and runs marathons.

It goes a bit deeper than that. I had a very traumatic birth where I needed life saving surgery and 6 blood transfusions. As a result I didn't get to see DD for a few days. I feel as if this lack of early bonding has somehow damaged her or that because I failed her initially, I'm going to keep on failing her and that she deserves much better than me! It's not about keeping up but instead a thought that if everyone else's baby can what am I getting wrong 😔

Baby physios will all tell you not to put a baby in a sitting position unless they can get there themselves. It can cause a delay because they never have to make the effort to develop the motor skills to sit up. You need to put her on her back and deal with her frustration until she figures out how to roll herself over, get up on her hands and knees and swing a leg around to sit down. It will be painful to listen to because she is used to you just plopping her on her bum where she can see everything and is comfy. But it’s worth it in the end.

Also you sound like an absolutely lovely mum, we all worry about them night and day. But you sound so caring and like you have a lovely bond with her. If you think the worrying is more in the line of post partum anxiety or depression then there is so much help available and don’t be afraid to ask.

Please don't blame yourself for what you did or didn't do when your lo was born. Children develop at very different paces but if you are concerned there is no harm in getting things checked out. Speak to your GP or health visitor. However if you are still concerned don't keep waiting. Ds1 had a speech disorder but neither the GP, health visitor or even the speech therapist recognised it at the beginning.

Ds1 is now considered gifted and talented at school but was delayed in his milestones when little so again things are not always as they seem.

This website is great and also has a progress checker if you are concerned

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/progress-checker-home/

I think I read somewhere that the average age for crawling is 8.3 months so having just turned 9 months she is hardly behind! Ds was a dedicated sitter from 5 months, he had amazing balance and so never really tipped over or supported himself on his hands. Consequently it took him a while to learn that his arms could help him propel himself along (although his fine motor skills are amazing from all the hands free time)! At 9 months he was making no attempts to crawl, but a couple of days before he turned 10 months he began inching himself along on his belly on a slippy floor. Within a week he was hands and knees crawling like a pro, pulling up and cruising! It was like a light just switched on and he put the pieces together. Sometimes they just figure things out at their own pace. Can't comment on the lack of babbling though as he never shuts up!

This website is great and also has a progress checker if you are concerned

ican.org.uk/i-cans-talking-point/progress-checker-home/

I just filled in this website for my DS, answered "yes" to all the questions but two and it's saying that I need to call/email them for a chat with their speech/language therapists about my baby's development! Talk about anxiety inducing...

Ican are an amazing charity though @newmum234 I’m sure the tracker is trying to help worried parents maybe call their helpline - they are incredibly good in my experience

Yep same! Said I need to call them 😔 I've also just emailed our health visitor team 😊

@WorryingFTM I think you are doing amazing. I would thoroughly recommend Ican - their speech therapist was so supportive to me with my dc

Basically it didn’t help my child that I just lay in bed panicking and feeling paralysed with fear. I should have been doing what you are doing - taking action