So, me and my DS have been staying with my parents, since being evicted and as time has gone on, found the courage to put a stop to exP thinking we will move back together as he was very abusive.
I could go in to great detail about my DF but I think that is best saved for another time. Just a bit of background history.
So DF is to me an alcoholic, not only because he drinks daily but other sides to the situation, always had a massive impact on family life/relationships etc, and even when it is the next morning etc, I think when you drink constantly it never leaves you, and he is still not a nice person only that alcohol makes him worse. To me he is abusive in so many ways, my DM has taken a different approach in her life.
So just a few things that are an issue, my DF is controlling over what DS eats for dinner, as in my DM cooks and there is a big fuss made, if my DS has been out for the day etc, especially with his DF the mood is worse, and then if my DS doesn't want to eat the dinner he has been made it's because he's been out etc, tired, oh we have failed that he hasn't napped in day, thus making him not want his meal as tired. Then my DF wants to know what DS has eaten whilst with his DF, I was called an idiot and stupid for not knowing, I knew but didn't want to say it, as my DF will be even more nasty then. He will say you won't get anything else(okay I know that many say they will not cook different meals for all the family) then he will say 'oh another one to go in the bin' then things like there are children starving in the world and you don't eat yours, note my DS is 2 yrs 8 mths. There was conflict over this subject and DS has picked up on that of course. So I noticed some anxiety in him.
One Eve me and my DF conversated about this subject and he got funny with me but nasty way, as he knows he is wrong. He said okay if he doesn't want to eat no problem it's not an issue, I said it is as it's picked on all the time. He then tried to back track and pretend it's out of concern, it's not really. He then said if he doesn't want to eat there is a problem, I said like what? No answer. I said at his age they can be fussy/eat loads then not much, he done a smirk and said oh yes and you are so knowledgeable on all these things, I said no not really I just don't make a big deal out of it. He said my DS has no chance with me, as I called my DF abusive, and do I expected crap like what he said, to come out, he said he is trying to give the child some sort of life, ha yeah right! Then told me to shut up and go to bed in an aggressive threatening tone, I said can you stop saying those words all the time(shut up) as my DS keeps saying it as you know, he then looked nastily at my DS and said again in an aggressive tone, tell her to shut up and go to bed, my DS then repeated.
If we are out I am anxious upon going home in the evenings, not only how my DF will be, as he drinks from the early afternoon, but also what things will be like when my DS is offered dinner. Please note as much as I am greatful for the cooking I never asked for it to be done, and it was never even growing up, the home you would of cooked your own meals in.
What makes it worse, is my DM is there almost at our feet when we come home, waiting that my DS has to eat this meal. Then if he asks for something else, my DM looks at my DF for bloody permission or approval, which you will never get, and is not needed. What makes it worse is neither my DM or DF eat when they don't want to, or have foods they don't like, if my DF was made something he doesn't like, oh there would be such a fuss!
On the topic of wasted food, my DF spent years of evenings and weekends in the afternoon, granted he had been at work then pub for the rest of the time, with his head in his dinner and food was then wasted.
Again this is not about trying to encourage good habits for the child, and care that he eats. As there are times where my DS has eaten, and still wants more food, my DF will say no 🤦♀️ but it's not his choice to make! I have heard GP stories and if you ask for help/have them involved then a price to pay sometimes, but it's gone past that.
My DF is also jealous of time my DM gives DS, pathetic, also if my DS doesn't give my DF attention he gets funny. My DF also tries to take over at times, which I believe is due to the fact he messed up with us as kids. He was never around, never helped, was drunk most of the time. People say oh but he worked and gave you a home, he rented for many years, he likes to forget that now, that he thinks everyone can buy their own home! Yes he worked but my DM had to constantly ask for house keeping. Also he goes on about how wonderful he is because he bought his own home, as though we should be greatful, but barring teen years, after that he didn't want me in it anyway, and other sibling had long gone, said they would rather have been in debt than live at home. So who did he buy it for then?! I don't have any happy memories from growing up here, so although it has been better than being on the streets, it was/is not a happy home.
I could go on but realise I typed far too much, thank you if you read this far.
Would just like to hear what you think about things, particularly latest situation. Thanks in advance!