Your experience please...

[AhhChewww]

Hi
I'm new to posting but have been lurking for ages.

I have 18w old dd, my husband is English, I'm Polish, we live in London and use OPOL method.

At some point in future-when my dd becomes really fluent in English- we'd like to move to Poland.

And this is what i want to pick your brains about. Would it be possible to maintain her bilingualism (ie fluent english) while living in Poland? Especially that my dh would probably have to commute at the beginning..

And what would be the best age to relocate?
When she's 5-6 years old? Or even earlier?

I know it's still early days but really would like to know if it's possible to achieve.

Please share your experiences with me...

You can relocate at any time.

The issue is always about maintaining a balance between the two languages such that your child hears an equal amount of both; it is largely up to parents to manage the calibration.

If you are in England, you need to make your home as Polish speaking as possible. Were you to move to Poland, you would need to do the reverse.

Thanks Anna!

Remember also to maintain the same language with the same person, wherever you are.
Good for you,it is such a gift for a child to be fluent in two languages and cultures. (If you look in the archives,there are lots of discussions about this topic.)

Welcome btw.

yes move at any time. Once she is fluent in english, as long as she still hears it from her father, she won't forget it! Also have plenty of books and music in both languages, and organise regular trips back to the UK.

It is certainly possible to achieve.

The only case I know of where children have forgotton a language learnt at an early age is when the family moved back to the UK when both children were under five, and both parents only spoke english. The children never heard the language they had been learning again, so rapidly seem to have forgotton it.

But your case is different as your dd will still have her english speaking father.

It's a great thing to bring up your child bilingual.

and also it's fascinating to hear a child learn two languages, they learn both in such a natural way.

My dd1 is three and a half and at the stage of mixing up the two languages - for instance she says 'ik like that' ('ik'is the dutch word for 'I')

DD2 is just two years old and already knows a lot of words in both languages. For instance she pointed at something to me and said 'flower', but I didn't understand her and asked her to say it again. She repeated 'bloem' which is the dutch word for flower

I was so proud of her at that moment.

thanks for your posts!

I've read lots of topics from the archives.
Yes. It's very fasinating to bring up a bilingual baby, isn't it?

I'm a linguist myself and can't wait to watch her acquiring both languages.

You speak excellent English, so if you go back to Poland and you don't have contact to English groups or expats then it would be worth speaking abit of English at home as your dd will get plenty of Polish language practise in every day life and at school.
If/when we leave Germany and I don't have access to a German group I would try to speak German with my dc at home so they didn't forget, it would be such a shame if they lost it as they are fluent now and English is their first language so I don't need to worry about it anymore.

We moved from Scotland to Denmark when our dd was 2 and our ds was 2 weeks. We made sure that when we were together as a family we spoke English, watched English tv (not that our children ever want to sit still long enough to watch that match tv),song english nursery rhymes etc.

Then when we moved back to Scotland a few years later (dd 4 and ds 2) we have made sure that it is now all about speaking Danish when we are together.

Seems to work for them. They see Danish as our language and English as what they speak with everybody else.

Thank you all for your advice.
I'm stocking up now on both polish and english books, dvds, tapes etc

admylin it's really kind of you

Ahhchewww, hi there. What are the possibilities for your dd to get exposure to English once you're back in Poland? Do you have any idea of what schools/groups there are which she could attend to keep her English up? I suppose it depends where in Poland you would be moving to. If your dh is working long hours, she will not have a lot of exposure to English once in Poland, so in that case, I would consider leaving later rather than earlier so she has a firm base in English. Polish will probably become her first language once you're living in Poland. Is it possible for you to get English language TV programmes in Poland via satellite?

Sandy - how are things going for your DD in Berlin? Any progress on the school front?

whispers... hi Anna, we have the autumn break this week - so it is BLISS. Apart from the fact I am trying to get her maths (grrr) up to scratch. It's rather an uphill battle. Apart from that we are going to the zoo and enjoying life and I've left the school issue till next week when she goes back. I think I will be taking her to school in England. Am collecting bumpf and doing my research on it at the moment.

How are you? Everything ok your end?

Yes... I hardly dare talk to you about it... my daughter adores her school and is blissfully happy, the other mothers are very nice, teachers are lovely...

good luck with it Anna, glad everything is off to a good start.

I agree that once you move, however good her English, it will gradually slide unless you can give her plenty of exposure to it over there. So the longer you leave it, the better. But also to bear in mind is that after the age of 6 or 7 it is much harder for children to become fully and naturally bilingual (so the experts say - something to do with neurone connections...). Soooo, around 6 would be the best age, IMO.

We moved when our girls were 7 and 5, and although the younger one clicked into French faster, the older one has retained more English (by which I mean more natural expression and spontaneity). I speak English with them all the time at home, we have British TV, they have an English tutor who helps with their written English and we visit the UK several times a year. Despite all this, their English is a bit weaker than their French, but this in almost inevitable in a situation such as ours and yours.

hey,

i am english and i live in denmark with my danish DH and DD (20 months). i am the only person who speaks English to her (she is in daycare so hears Danish all day). She is starting to learn both languages, but sometimes i worry that she will not learn english because it is only me she hears it from. can anyone recommend some good english kids' cds to help give me backup?

am new to mumsnet but enjoying exposure to UK mothers!

Hi violettina,
I am spanish living in the UK with scots husband and working full time, so I am in the same situation as you. I speak english with my husband and because my DDs have always been in childcare, english is their strong language. Even though I always speak to them in catalan (my mother tongue) they never speak to me in catalan. They understand, they will speak with my family, and not to me. So for me, the solution was for them to spend the summers with my family in Spain. As there is noone who can translate for them, they had to speak catalan with everybody. So may be, that could be something that you could look into it.
But always try to speak to your DD in English, doesn't matter if she answers back in Dannish, but it will help when you visit the UK.

I am Swedish living in the UK with English dh and two children. My dh understands Swedish very well, but speaks it incorrectly and with a poor accent. My English is near native (I teach at the local university). I speak Swedish to the children a lot of the time, but not all the time, as I am also the person who negotiates their medical care (both have chronic disabilities) and helps them with their homework. I know this is not the recommended way, but tbh I don't think the important thing is never to use the other language, the main thing is to provide enough of the minority language. And I talk lots!

Dh and I alternate between English and Swedish. Dh usually speaks English to the children (they find his Swedish embarrassing and, frankly, so do I).

We have no means of exposure to Swedish here in the UK, but are fortunate enough to spend our summers and Christmas holidays in Sweden with the grandparents and lots of cousins. Apart from that, I read to them a lot (still reading bed time stories to an 11yo!), I used to sing when they were little, they have Swedish tapes and DVDs and lots of books. My dd (11) also has Swedish penfriends- she is the world's most sociable person and will make friends wherever she goes.

When they are in Sweden, they know they are expected to speak Swedish all the time (except possibly when alone with us); little cousins don't understand English and grandparents would think it rude. And naturally they have to speak English to their friends and teachers here. But we don't have any rules or restrictions within the immediate family- mainly because they are so relaxed about using both languages, there seems to be no need of pushing either. My dd certainly sounds like a native Swede, and ds too speaks it very fluently though is still more prone to interference between the two languages.

Sorry, another hijack!

Violettina, just wanted to say hello! My dd is also 20 mnths and we live in Denmark - I speak English to her (am half English, half Danish, but was brought up in the UK and English is my mother tongue) and she also goes to nursery so her only source of English is me and BBC Prime weekend mornings!

Also wanted to say hello to maisemor - we spoke a long time ago (am very much not a regular on mumsnet so haven't posted much).

AhhChewww - I think it's a great idea to split the time between UK and Poland. My dh was brought up bilingual and his parents equally split his and his sister's childhoods between the 2 countries and their relationships with the 2 cultures and languages are equally balanced (IMO!)

I've just noticed that this thread is still going! Thank you for all your answers. Actually we are now thinking of staying permanently in the UK. So it looks like I will have to start worry about her Polish more than Eng.

[Don't mind hijacks! They are bumping up threads really nicely. So hijack on...]

Hi, if you are going to stay in the UK, depending where you live, it shouldnt be too hard finding other Polish people in your situation, given the amount of Poles who are coming in to the Uk now. Perhaps you could start a bilingual kids group together.
Or maybe you could find a Polish nanny or childminder.
Regular trips home to Poland will make all the difference in the long run.
Also, get relatives in Poland to buy childrens' books and record themselves reading the story and send the tape and book to you. It's a lovely way to keep your family close.
Many DVDs have the option of watching the film in Polish so you could explore that when your LO is bigger.

Most important of all is too keep speaking Polish with your LO, even when it feels awkward, for example in public. You can speak Polish directly to your LO and then repeat things in English if you are in a group of people that don't speak Polish in social situations. I do that automatically now, it doesnt bother me or the people around us.

BTW we are English@home living in Spain. I am Scottish and DP is from Peru but fluent in English. We are thinking of moving back to Scotland in the next 2 years and so I don't mind that DP is starting to speak and read some Spanish at home to DD1 (4.3 yo) as we might end up having to speak more Spanish at home once we're in the UK for good. I know it's not a good idea to switch languages but it is better than the DDs losing their Spanish in the long run.