Toddler refusing to sleep after separation from mum

[2020visions]

Hi all I’m in need of some help as to why this is. My DD is 18 months old and me and her dad are separated and have been since the beginning of my pregnancy. She has been staying with him every other weekend for two nights since February this year. Last week she stayed with him for a week as he had booked annual leave and wanted some proper quality time with her. I felt nervous about this as we have never been apart more than two nights but agreed as I know she is happy with him and very well looked after.

The problem is since she’s been home she just will not go to sleep. It’s taken me on average 3 hours at night to get her to fall asleep and during the day she’s refusing naps and if she does drift off she wakes 30 second later screaming and panicking.
I feel like a terrible mother and I’m blaming myself for this because she was separated from me. Do you think this could be down to any other reason or because I shouldn’t have let her go for so long?
I feel awful.

My daughter had a massive sleep regression around 18 months- took hours to go to bed and woke (even more) frequently and refused naps so it could be a coincidence.

My DS also had a sleep regression around this age, so I wouldn't worry just power on through and it will get better again.

Have you noticed any other odd behaviour since she returned?

Thank you for your replies so far.
There’s been nothing else that’s worried me. During the day she’s really talkative and happy, eating and drinking the usual amounts. It’s just the sleeping and napping that’s totally changed since the day she was dropped back. Her dad is adamant that she sleep perfectly with him and went to sleep with no problems.

@2020visions

Thank you for your replies so far. There’s been nothing else that’s worried me. During the day she’s really talkative and happy, eating and drinking the usual amounts. It’s just the sleeping and napping that’s totally changed since the day she was dropped back. Her dad is adamant that she sleep perfectly with him and went to sleep with no problems.

Well of course he round say that 🤣 he isnt going to say I had the same trouble as you getting her to sleep

My ex mil said my kids had been good as gold ate all their food played nicely the works didn't no why we had issues with their behaviour at all! Turns out ds had an epic tantrum threw his (metal) trains nearly smashed a window refused all food and was spoon fed chocolate yoghurt and had fed crisps dd had to comfort nanny from having a breakdown while grandad cleaned a mess ds made he slapped spat squealed and yelled 😳 the entire time when I called to say I was coming to collect she said it was a shame they were having so much fun! (see you in ten minutes) she didn't offer to babysit again for awhile

No one likes to admit the child is anything less than perfect

I'm not separated but my dd is 30 months and sounds similar. If dh puts her to bed she will go down without a fuss, if I take her all hell breaks loose when I go to leave the room. She wants me to stay with her all night I think whereas isn't as bothered about dh leaving despite them being close. I think it might just be a mam thing.

I reckon it’s coincidental timing and just happened to collide with the 18 month sleep regression