how much do you teach your toddlers at home

[ellie1984]

Just looking for some advice. Our two and half-year-old goes to the nursery almost full time. We both work and during the week our days basically involve taking him to the nursery, picking him up around 5, and bedtime around 7. I always read to him before bed, but honestly, I don't do much else in terms of trying to teach him stuff. On the weeknend, we do try to read to him, take him to museums, grandparents and generally interact with him. But going on my friends -everyone seems to be doing a lot more teaching with their toddlers - like teaching them letters, numbers etc.

I sort of assumed that he would be picking up a lot of that at the nursery and that at home it might be nicer to get him to play outside (his nursery never take them out) and just play with him etc. But now I think that am doing this all wrong. How much 'teaching' does everyone else do with their toddlers? And before any shoots me down - I am a teacher so I do get that teaching/learning is important - but I sort of assumed that lots of that stuff will be done at the nursery. I have tried to count and show him letters etc but I dont know if everyone else is doing it really systematically like a letter/number a week etc.

this is a great parents guide.

I have a nearly 2 year old and I am surprised how little she learns in nursery. She seems to play a lot, which is fine with me, but she doesnt bring home any new habits or songs or actions. I basically 'teach' her everything, but when I say 'teach' it's just nursery rhymes, general vocabulary, how to strap her velcro on her shoes, colouring for dexterity, some sounds and phonics, animals from books.

I had a working mother and I am a working mother. When I come back from work (I have an 8 year old and a 3.5 year old), I first read to them for a bit. Then I play a ‘game’ of some sort which is often vaguely educational. (Five Minute Mum has some great games for this age range). Usually 1-2 games a day is enough. We also play simple board games (Haba makes a simple Orchard game for 2 year olds). No 3 year old knows the periodic table in any meaningful way!

I'm not sure there is a chart as such - i think you need to take cues from Your child? it was clear by the time it came to starting pre school at 3 1/2 that DD was ready for more formal learning and to be challenged more - she knew her letters and numbers, counting to 20 etc and the leapfrog writing thing really brought her on leaps and bounds in terms of starting to try and write individual letters but she is a knowledge sponge but that really seemed to accelerate from age 3 really I don't remember doing much before that age. But every child is different so I wouldn't compare my child to that of another.
We sort of set ourselves a target of at least being able to start to recognise some letters and sound them out and numbers by the time pre school came around.

Oh we also had a wooden abacus thing with letters and number and pictures on the back.

We just incorporated letter and number recognition into day to day life really as much as we could

We don’t teach anything formally (DS just turned 3). He free plays a lot.

What we do do is read a lot and colours, letters, numbers, shapes etc just get dropped in randomly throughout the day.

Having snack? “Oh how many blueberries do you have?” “Five! Wow. If you eat one, how many do you have?”

Reading a book. “Yeah I see the ducks. How many ducks are there?”

Out and about “what number is on that door?” “What letters can you see on that sign?”

It’s just natural to chat about these things, along with all sorts about size, opposites, textures, emotions etc. Literally just tiny tidbits scattered through the play of the day. We don’t sit him down and try to drill anything in to him at all.

Just talking, interacting, reading book at bedtime, bought some magnetic letters for the fridge, role play, rhymes. I asked the school and they advised me they need to be able to recognise their name and count to ten. They also need to be able to get dressed and wipe bottoms.

So I also believe in solidifying basics. First children need to be able to count, then convert that to identifying each object with a number. And it’s really helpful for kids to learn that numbers are made up of smaller numbers. So we spent ages playing with Lego bricks and going ‘I have a tower of 5 blocks’- how many ways can I make 5? And I do mean ages. And then I would show him how if I take 4 bricks away from 5, we have 1 left and vice versa.
You can do the same thing with anything - Cheerios, fingers, Lego bricks. The main thing is consistency and repeating the same basic concepts in various ways so kids can apply the same principle and are not rote learning their number bonds.
Numicon is great. DS2 and I have been playing with it since he was 2 and he had no idea he was learning about numbers. Again 5-10 minutes everyday.
We also did lots of number stories. To reinforce the same ideas. And a game where the numbers would be laid out in a line and then a thief (a soft toy) would steal a number and DS has to be the detective and work out which number has to be stolen.
Same with writing. Don’t put pen to paper. We wrote with water on the fence, wrote in shaving foam, in coloured rice.
I taught him the phonics sounds for the letters of his name by playing racing games. I would call out a sound and he would have to find it and ‘race’ to put it in a bucket.
I refuse to subscribe to the philosophy that learning is drudgery and that there is some artificial division between that which is fun and that which is ‘learning’. As I said, I work FT so we do this stuff on weekends and maybe for 20 minutes when I come home (although when DS gets into a letter or number game he wants to go on and on).

Everything is learning at that age! My 2yo has been able to count for quite a while because it's something that I do naturally - e.g. when out shopping, count as you place items on the conveyor belt. He doesn't know what 2 means, he just likes saying the number.

Colours you say stuff like 'pass me the orange ball' so he learns his colours.

They're only little. By talking and playing with them, you'll be teaching them so much without any planning or thinking.

thank you everyone for sharing all your wonderful ideas and tips. I will definitely have a look at the skills development chart and might use some of these ideas with my little one.

At the moment, things like puzzles/flashcards don't really work for him as he doesn't have the focus/attention span, he'd much run around and/or chat. But I can definitely work on vocalizing things around the house a lot more. Explaining things all around us is definitely more fun than phonics.

I wouldn't teach your child anything - I could read in nursery (mother spent a lot of time teaching me stuff as she liked showing me off like a trick pony) and all the teachers made a big fuss of me, I was their favourite. When I went to school not only was I bored but I was no longer the special one, I was just 1 of 30. Apparently I was an absolute terror, stepping on kids' crayons on purpose and starting fights for most of kindergarten.

Er, not much! We do lots of reading, talking and playing every day. DD just seems to pick stuff up as we go along - she's a great problem solver and really imaginative. She's got years of schooling to come so I'm of the opinion that my job at this stage is to make sure she's happy, confident, active and gets to see different things.

Reception teacher here. Please do not do phonics or flash cards. They will learn everything at school. We often waste time undoing any home learning that has taken place.

The key is to be school ready. Aim for child to recognise their own name so they can find their org and name labels in clothes.

Activities to do at home:
Talk to each other all the time.
Sing songs and rhymes including counting songs.
Encourage independence in toileting and putting on shoes and coats.
Mark making: chalk,paint etc.
Manners: Please and thank you.
Sharing.
Fine motor skills: threading, playdough.

Nothing really other than the normal day to day stuff I figured nursery did ready for school at the time (which they did) then school, we supported the school but nothing ourselves, did not think it was needed

I teach Reception and I find that often children who come to school knowing how to read and write have poorer social skills. They also find it hard to play alone as they are used to lots of adult attention. The best things to teach them at home are sharing, playing with others and independently, how to dress themselves, find their own shoes/coat/bag etc. Developing gross motor skills helps build muscles for writing so running, jumping and climbing are important. Talking is vital and reading stories to them is the first step in them learning to read. If you are going to teach sounds it’s important they learn them correctly - there are videos on you tube that demonstrate how to say sounds. They don’t need to be able to write their name when they start but if they do it should be in lower case apart from the first letter. You can google development matters and look for your child’s age band to see the kinds of things they should be doing. In the early years curriculum Communication and Language, Personal, Social and Emotional Development and Physical Development take precedence over Literacy and Maths.

Our kids school taught letters at Reception age (4-5yo) and they have a proper scheme of what letter sounds are taught in what order. So don't worry about letters.

In Preschool (3-4) they only worked on "mark making" which is literally pen to paper and talking about the marks and a little bit of what letters are in their name.

Numbers up to 10 were covered in Preschool (dc1 happened to know hers in advance but more through songs etc).

From memory, Preschool asked that dc start working on getting their own coats on, responding to simple 1/2 list requests, putting their own winter hat on, and tpilet training (tho obvs understabdable if nof quite mastered yet).

Mine knew basic shapes and colours before starting preschool.

A two year old doesn’t need to be learning letters and numbers - that’s what school is for when they are five and six. A two year old should just be playing and having fun.

I was a primary teacher before I had DS and largely taught nursery. I didn’t do any formal learning with DS at that age because he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t interested! I focussed a lot on being outside, lots of talking, lots of playing, lots of natural numbers and letters like PP have said - counting steps, pointing out our house number, counting the ducks on the lake etc etc. He went to childcare nursery 2 mornings a week and then school nursery from September last year to lockdown but he didn’t really seem to learn anything. I was surprised he didn’t in school nursery because I know how quickly my pupils progressed, so I started in lockdown, roughly following the same structure I had in my classes.

DS is flying now, only done three weeks in school and has reading books in a language we don’t speak at home and is sounding the words out and using phonic knowledge, counting to and beyond 20 in two languages etc BUT we didn’t do any formal learning with him until he turned 4 in lockdown and he actively asked. I did try a bit before then but he gave no fucks about it, honestly. If I had pushed it then, he’d have been turned off by learning wouldn’t he?

I would be focusing on ‘skills’ like dressing toileting etc, but don’t rush those either. DS wasn’t toilet trained until after his third birthday but again, he wasn’t ready before then and was dry within a week and never wet the bed or had an accident.

I would also make sure he sees his name a lot so he gets used to recognising it.

DH (also a secondary school teacher) recently had a bit of a freak-out because a colleague of his claimed that his SAHM wife spends two hours a day 'home schooling' their two year old and that he knows all his numbers and letters

DS (2y3m) goes to nursery three days a week, we each have a day at home with him, and we don't do any conscious 'learning' with him, apart from a bit of counting going up and down stairs, etc. His speech is very good but I don't think that's anything we've done. We do read to him a lot and - just to pick up on your previous point about not reading in front of him - we do make an effort to read in front of him, especially DH, who read something before he was born about how important it is for boys to see their fathers reading and who has stuck to it since (as is clear, DH is the most neurotic/pushy one about this stuff!)

My DD goes to nursery for most of the week too and I feel like I should do the opposite of things they do, as a break for her and to focus on the things nursery can't provide. So we do a lot of bonding activities together, helping out with the house-she loves to help me wash up, cook, gardening, and we go out on adventures usually on the train all over the place, and things like swimming, then at home free imaginary play which she flows with best on her own. I did look through the EYFS guidance but it's more about the natural developmental stages than things you need to teach actively. For my older daughter when she started school they gave use a list: they wanted them to start school being able to dress themselves, use a knife and fork (this hadn't occurred to me with my eldest I'd been cutting her food up myself) and self care like toilet trained and able to wash their hands, wipe their own nose, put on sun cream etc. Not reading and writing, it's the daily life learning that's important.