How do i stop "babying"

[mumtoa7yo]

Its become clear to me lately that i baby my daughter. Im a single parent shes 7 (and a half)
i do too much for her and i feel like im doing her a dis-service.

Any tips on how to stop this?

She can get a drink or snack by herself, make herself cereal, but thats it food wise.

She can tidy up but i need to really prompt her alot.

She has only recently started showering herself, as in last week.

Bedtime, last week started going to bed alone rather than me doing the whole tuck in thing.

Also i just generally treat her like shes younger than she is and i annoy myself.

Helppp

Could you get her to help you cook?
Chop the veg etc so she is helping and learning.

Rota for cleaning tasks for her.

Tucking her in bed is perfectly ok though surely?

Yabu not to still tuck her in op...

Tucking in a 7 yo isn't banging is it? I thought this was normal

*babying

Mine are 5 and half and 7 and pretty much at the same level tbh. The 7 yr old has initiated his own jobs a bit to earn money though so that could be a away forward.

Oh god. I have a seven year old and off course i tuck him in (two stories)
I make his cereal and i bath him. Hes still veey small in my opinion.
They love the comfort of a story ang hug at bedtime.

That all sounds very normal - I have a nearly 7 year old and I tuck her in, send her for a shower and have to prompt her to tidy up. And she’s a very sensible and quite mature child. But still a fairly young child!

I am all for kids having responsibility abs not having everything done for them but they still need tucking in at that age! Poor love!

Of course (sorry)

Oh gosh my ds1 is almost 9 and I still go in and tuck him in/say goodnight!

How about a simple list of chores - make bed, tidy bedroom, unload dishwasher etc. You can gradually introduce new things.

I am guilty of just doing things myself as it is easier/quicker and so I'm trying to encourage the kids to do more and let them help with cooking/baking - critically, when not in a rush!

7 is still young - my ds2 is just 7 and needs help/prompting when tidying, reminding to wash hair in the shower etc. I wouldn't worry about it, just gradually get her to do a bit more for herself.

I think bedtime is when they tell you their worries and little stories. It's a very important time.

Also, a bit of babying doesn't hurt, does it? At the risk of sounding like my gran you'll turn around and she'll be grown up in no time!

You don’t tuck her in!!! My 9 year old still sleeps in my bed and we love it! We’re happy as pigs in shit. That time before bed is so precious. You get so much out of them. It’s a time with no other distractions where you can have a quick play fight, do some murderous tickling and they finally get talking about school etc. - things they could be bothered to tell you when they were busier.

It doesn't sound to me like you are babying her from what you've said. I still take my 9 and 12 year olds up to bed, say good night and close their doors! What is it you feel that your daughter should be doing that she isn't? X

Reckon you should baby her more.

Oh my goodness, my 8 year old (9 in 2 weeks!) is pretty much the same 🙈

@OhioOhioOhio

Reckon you should baby her more.

Agree with this

I have a 15 year old and 13 year old and still tuck them in! I'd stop if they asked me to but they don't want me to stop. Both perfectly capable of course of doing it without me.

Little steps to independence is all you need - so helping you do something (like putting away their washing or cooking) is how to start and eventually they will do it themselves (though still working on some of it with my two!) though it's still OK to do things for them whatever age, it's called being a family, as long as they are capable and do it sometimes and also do things for you too. But at 7, you're a long way off needing complete independence!

My ds nearly 12 still likes a kiss goodnight when I have tucked him in..
So does ds 19 when he is home (army)..

My nearly 7yo is perfectly capable of Dressing himself, making his bed, Reading himself a story showering, etc etc etc
But sometimes I do it for him, because when he is tired, or it is cold and miserable, or just because, who doesn’t like to be cosseted a bit? He loves it, especially if I also talk about what he was like when he was a baby. Your daughter is still very little, and this year especially has been a strange one. Cuddle her etc while you can! I agree with a PP that bedtime is the only time that DS really opens up to me about school, and I hear more than ‘fine’.

My son is 12 and he still asks for a story (teen fiction now). And he still likes me to get his cereal even though he can do it - I think they just like the attention. Enjoy it while it lasts, as long as you do also teach them a little independence as well. I've started compiling recipe books for both mine based on their favourite meals - we cook them together first so they feel confident, then they have a go on their own while we watch, also copies eg from their Granny's favourite cake, so they will have a tried and trusted recipe book to take to university.
Can't bloody get them to tidy though, still end up doing all that 🙄

Haha oh dear, for context re tucking in, this isnt me being a monster parent. Basically we struggle at bedtime and it turns into quite a stressful time when i tuck her in for various reasons.

So i still do the bedtime routine, shower story cuddles etc, but then she gets in bed herself.

We agreed this together to trial it out because of how bedtimes were getting and this way its a much nicer way of sending her to sleep.

But i get that hearing i dont tuck her in without context could sound harsh :)

Love the rota for cleaning and helping with cooking :)

Glad to hear others are similar though.

Im the same, i gage how tired she is etc, or sometimes i just want to do it for her.

Its a lot of outside influence, people telling me i wrap her up in cotton wool, and do too much for her, but if others are in the same boat thats reassuring.

I’m 37 yrs old and I love it when DH reads to me in bed.

when you say she gets in bed herself, as if that is a recent new thing, i'm puzzled. how did it happen before. surely all children who can reach up to their bed get in themselves ?
as to nurturing independence, i think it's a very good thing.
that actually is the job of the parent, to make yourself redundant.
how about getting her involved in sorting clean laundry, matching socks etc, folding towels.
also you could discuss together what clothes she needs for the next day, and lay them out over a chair on going to bed.
gradually she could take responsibility for this.
just involve her more in everyday tasks.
good luck.