Preschooler parents - thoughts please

[InTheFamilyTree]

My 3.5 year old has just Started preschool, nearly FT, 8.30-5.

A few times now I've been told at the end of the day that she's has had problems listening, ie. been asked to do something once or twice but hasn't done it. They issue an immediate consequence (which is how we'd handle it af home) eg. if you don't put your coat on you can't go our and play.

At first I was quite laid back about this, a group setting was new to her and she's very active and inquisitive so assumed some boundary pushing is normal.

Now however I'm starting to get the feeling that they think I'm too lax, and not taking it seriously.

Last thing to add, we have a short bus ride there and back so think tiredness plays a part in this issue.

If you've managed to read this far... any thoughts from parents of similar age kids. What would your expectations be in this situation?

Has she not done it the first time she was asked before she was faffing around or is she refusing to it?

No not faffing, sounds like she ignored the instruction

Bump

In a preschool setting after settling in (say two weeks of being full time) I’d expect my pre schooler of the same age to listen to the instructions or otherwise explain why she isn’t eg I don’t want to put my coat on as I want to play inside. If you’re DD is fairly new to a pre school type setting I really wouldn’t worry, it does take a while to settle into the routine, the excitement and to understand the Toddler/teacher relationships.

If they've mentioned it a few times I'd assume it's causing them more problems than typical behaviour or becoming a bit disruptive. I'd want to have a longer chat with her key person to see what the issue is.

I think it sounds really unfair! I'd want to speak to the key worker to find out more about the situations when she's not listening

@InTheFamilyTree

I don't think preschool would expect you to do anything at home, they've already sanctioned her. They're just letting you know.

I definitely think you should arrange to have a more in-depth conversation with them if you have concerns.

I work in a Nursery and I would usually tell parents just to keep them informed and because it is a more reliable account for parents to hear from an adult than a very young child. My expectation from parents would be to talk to their child at home and reinforce the expectations. From what you've said it doesn't sound as though you have brushed off what has happened, what gives you the impression that they feel you are lax?

Also, to put your mind at ease lots of children can be uncooperative with the rules to begin with. One little girl last year was throwing chairs in her first week of Nursery but seeing her in her first week of Reception she is like a little angel! Some children just need a bit longer to figure out how to be in their new environment