My sister doesn't bother with my child

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I'm a single parent with 1 DD aged 13. I come from a very large extended family with lots of cousins (at least 20 first cousins) so over the years, understandably, we don't receive individual gifts at birthdays or Christmas from aunties and uncles as it would cost everyone a fortune to cover all of us. I do, however have one sister, and she has three children. I take a lot of care at Christmas and birthdays to select nice gifts for them and always make the effort to hand deliver them to my sister's house. For the past, at least ten years, however, she barley bothers with my daughter at all. She's always late with a birthday gift and when she does remember it's usually a supermarket bought voucher. At Christmas its obviously less easy for her to forget, but again, considering I buy for all three of her children, the gift my daughter receives is usually minimal. I wouldn't care so much, but because we don't receive many gifts from extended family, my daughter often only has a gift to open from my parents (as a family gift) and it makes me sad that my sister's children get so much - from her husbands side. DD doesn't seem to be bothered to be honest, so I think it's definitely more my problem with my sister's feckless attitude, but it does bother me. She knows we're on our own, so I think she should give us more thought. This also extends to me taking her kids out on trips etc, but she never offers to take my DD. I've considered saying something to her, but it just seems 'grabby' and ungrateful when said out loud. Any thoughts?

Yeah..stop doing it.
Should’ve stopped years ago by the sounds of it.

I think a voucher is an ideal gift for a teenager. Teenagers are so difficult to but for. I don’t think the fact that you are single means your sister should make more of an effort with you than she would otherwise.

Some people just don't attach as much importance to that sort of thing. Why don't you talk to her, agree an approach for all the children and a price limit. Or stop doing it. You're a single mum buying three presents to her one.

You could arrange to take them all to a show instead?

Firstly it’s not your sister's fault that you are a single parent and that her child gets presents from her fathers family. You can’t change that, it’s totally out with your control so you need to let that go.

How about agreeing a spending limit with her? Then there is no comparison and it’s equal.

And about trips etc you can say when you’re planning the next one “right where you taking them next time?”. If she’s not keen to reciprocate then take your DD out with her friends instead.

Ultimately I think your problem here is that you have expectations of how your DS should feel and act and you’re upset that she’s not living up to them. You either need to talk to her honestly about how you feel or get over it. Neither will be easy but you’ll drive yourself mad if you do nothing

I'm in the same situation with my sibling. I like putting thought into presents so find it hard not to. I don't actually care about the presents though, it's the general disinterest in their nephew, it's hurtful. I've dealt with it by going low contact, only see them at rare family gatherings these days. Shame my ds has to realise his uncle is as shit as his father. He does however have wonderful grandparents thankfully and other extended family members who care.

Perhaps your sister had a lot to deal with so can’t bring your dd on outings as well? For example; I’ve got 3 kids and don’t think I could handle taking another child on a trip. My youngest is 10 months though, so still young. Maybe easier when older! But if I had one, I could at another child or perhaps two on a trip. If that makes sense. As for e gifts; maybe she can’t afford more as she has to buy for three kids? I would put less into the gifts you give and perhaps add another gift to your dd from you. So you feel she gets more.