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Parenting

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Need help/reassurance on what to do about work!

3 replies

E551 · 05/10/2020 13:20

I am going back and forth in thinking what to do that’s best for our family and I just need some help / guidance / reassurance, I don’t quite know myself!

Bit of a back story to my employment history, I had a good job in Sales for a few years and then we had our little daughter back in 2018. After maternity I went back to work on part-time hours which was amazing of my employers to allow me to do so. Not long after though I had enough and decided to leave, the directors weren’t bothered about the company anymore and it got very difficult, plus I was working part-time but with a full-time work load! Very sad to leave but had to be done. I started working for Lidl afterwards as a Shift Manager and pay was good however I was working well over my contracted hours and wasn’t home sometimes until gone midnight and sometimes went 11-12 hours without a break! So had to leave for my mental health! Because I did want to be home as much as possible with our daughter, and because I am also studying a part-time Law degree I decided that I didn’t want want to work more than say 24 hours a week for the time being. I got a job as a cleaner for the Royal Mail on an 18 hour contract and top it up by working for my Father’s holiday let cleaning business. These hours are nice, I’m home by 12 most days, on Friday’s when I work for my Father after my first job I’m still home at around 4. I work the occasional Saturday for him too.

Now the issue! The Manager at the Royal Mail office where I clean has asked me if I wanted a position as a postman on top of my cleaning hours (I had applied for a position previously before Lidl and passed the interview but just missed out to someone who was transferring), the money is good but it would mean working full time (38 hours). Since this was mentioned I was going back and forth on what to do and decided to decline because it’s nice being able to drop my daughter off at Nursery and taking her for walks or to see family on afternoon’s. But today when I was meant to inform the Office Manager of my decision I backtracked (again) and said I would be happy too, but I would want to give up the cleaning side for the Royal Mail.
Since I’ve said this I have started to panic again! Even without the cleaning, because I would be able to do more hours for them, I would be doing around 35 hours a week. I never imagined going back full-time until our daughter was around 4, she’s 2 and a half now. We don’t need the extra money as such, my partner is in a well-paid job, but it would be nice to be able to do more as a family and have more days out and not worry about any bills at all. We cope well with what is coming in at the moment but our savings has taken a hammering because we’ve had to take legal action against the developers of the house we’ve bought, that’s another long story! So it’s been a bit of a difficult year financially, although as I say bills can always be paid with no hassle, food can be bought, we can easily go on days out, but it would be nice not to have to worry about money, ever. But is it stupid of me taking extra hours and losing time with my daughter just to be able to do more with her when I am off? If that makes sense!

OP posts:
Debradoyourecall · 05/10/2020 13:33

Not stupid.. you can give it a go and then it would probably be fairly easy to find another cleaning job if it doesn’t work out? You have done well to get the postie job and it sounds like you want to go for it. Have you got a plan for childcare?

E551 · 05/10/2020 13:51

We’re quite lucky that my partner’s parents are retired so they do most of the childcare, my Mum also helps out as she only works in the Summer. But there is an issue because my partner’s parents are 70+ so we don’t want to rely on them too much because sometimes his mum gets a bad back and is in bed for days and we don’t want his siblings pointing the finger at us that it’s because of our daughter, even though his parents are more than happy to do it and are gutted when she doesn’t go there! My Mum has also been letting me down a lot recently, last minute telling me she can’t come and has only helped out a few hours in the last 3 weeks, even though I am grateful I’d much prefer it if she would let me know sooner if she can’t come or just tell me that she doesn’t want to do it anymore!

Taking on the full time position does depend a lot on childcare, if we can come up with a plan, so I have asked my Mum to let me know if she can help out at least once a week and then it shouldn’t be too, too bad on my partner’s parents then. If I’d put my daughter in a nursery it would be pretty pointless of me taking on the extra work but I suppose one day a week wouldn’t be too bad

OP posts:
Debradoyourecall · 05/10/2020 14:38

If you can at least break even with the one day in nursery until your daughter is three and you get the free hours, then in the long term it will be worth it.

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