Please help... losing the will! 8 weeks old...

[Amygcad]

Hi,

My baby is 8 weeks old today and is still feeding every 1-2 hours and takes anything between 1 and 4 ounces. This is day and night. People keep giving me advice as if I’m doing something wrong because she feeds this often and is this bitty. Is her feeding normal and what could I do differently? Of course I want her to go longer between feeds and want her to take more but she just won’t. I’m exhausted and the constant stream of advice is making me feel like a failure. She’s on Tomee Tippee size 2 teats and I’ve tried size 3 and it seemed to fast and I’ve tried vari flow but she’s the same on them. I keep getting told to entertain her to make her go longer and then take a full four ounces but if she’s hungry she’s hungry, she cries and cries.

I see everyone posting on these sites and they complain about one or two night wake ups and I think what the hell have they got to complain about. It’s really getting on top of me now :(

I have no advice but it's bloody hard. My other two slept through from early and still do now. Baby number three hasn't got to the lovely all the way through sleeping bit yet. The only thing I can say is that horrible old chestnut of it will get easier.

We 8 weeks too and she wakes for a feed every 2-3 hours overnight which isn't too bad especially when I get 2 3h breaks. During the day however, she often feeds every 30-90 minutes. The relentlessness of it is so draining you have my sympathy if you are having it over night too. I am breastfeeding so I can't give advice on bottles etc. Have you spoken to your hv about this?

Our hv last week noticed that I had fast letdown of milk and suggested this was why my lo was struggling to feed (pulling away frequently and getting upset) and short frequent feeds. On her advice I have been in contact with my infant feeding team. We had a phone consultation on Friday and they gave me some suggestions to try first and if I have no joy with them they will do a face to face consultation this week.
It might be worth looking to see if you have an infant feeding team if you haven't already. I imagine they will be able to give good advice on bottles and teets etc.

Hang in there it can only get better than this (at least that is what I'm telling myself!)

Four babies in and I have to say that every single baby is different, hearing advice can be helpful to form your own opinion with, but really listening to yourself/ your gut is best. I've always been a firm believer in that baby grew in your body for nine months, and it's going to take at least that to acclimatise to the world. 8 weeks in you need to just take one day at a time, the moment your in a routine baby has a growth spurt or starts teething or something that knocks it all out of whack again anyway.
Some babies feed well, some feed badly, I had one that would feed for 45 mins at a time, and then another that would be on and off all day for five mins only.
Maybe try switching positions if baby is having some wind issues...that could cause short feeding times. Also try to see the signs of hunger before baby starts crying, chewing on fist, making noises it's much easier to feed them before they start getting really fussy (obviously not at night though!! )
I personally don't even know how many times mine woke in the night, it really doesn't matter, every child is different and you'll drive yourself mad comparing yours to others.

Are you definitely sure that the crying is due to hunger? Sometimes if babies are colicky or have trapped wind then they graze because while they are feeding it eases the discomfort in their tummies for a while. Then they get into a cycle of overfeeding to feel better, then crying because they are over full and then feeding to feel better again! Is there any way to eek her out a little bit between feeds to give her little tummy a rest so she can recognise when she is properly hungry? Have you tried anything like infacol incase it is wind? How is her burping?

I bf rather than ff, but it doesn't sound an unusual pattern to me. If you think your baby is hungry, feed her! There's a huge range in normal at that age, you shouldn't feel bad because others describe a different pattern.

Like others have mentioned, could wind be an issue? My DD occasionally had an issue with this, and I've heard it's generally more common with ff babies. Do you get a good burp out of her after each feed?

Some babies can't take 4oz at that age. Their tummies are absolutely tiny - 4oz would mean they have to be digesting and absorbing it while they are drinking, as it's more than their stomach capacity at 8 weeks. Some just can't do this as quickly at this age. If this is the case with yours, "entertaining her" to try and stretch feeds simply won't work.

Hang in there OP. If you have other concerns, then you could look into them, but based on what you've described it doesn't sound unusual to me.

Hi,

I’ve thought about colic and reflux and she doesn’t really have the symptoms. She only burps once after each ounce though? But I don’t have any excessive screaming or anything like that unless I try to make her wait for her bottle. We tried infacol in the early days due to struggling to get wind up but she then started to be very restless and constantly trying to, what seemed like trying to pass wind, the health visitor told us to stop to see if it was the infacol and and she’s not as restless now. I’ve also started logging her feeds and she’s averaging around 25 ounces in 24 hours which seems about right according to the guidance on her milk tub. She was born at a tiny 5lb 1 at 37 weeks which always makes me wonder whether she’s a few weeks behind other babies her age tummy size wise?

We were feeding every 2 hours until around 6 months old

Oh OP, your post took me right back to when my son was this age!

He has never been a big eater despite being on the 80th percentile. He would only eat an oz or two and I was beside myself. I had HV breathing down my neck, ordering me to practically force feed him, I couldn’t sleep, I cried constantly and felt like the shittest person in gods green earth.

We tried all sorts of burping, infacol, carabol, timed feeding, different formulas, witchcraft, you know name it.

Turns out that’s just how he is and my HV is a bitch 🤷‍♀️

He’s 7 months old now and drinks way under the recommend amount, always has done. 4/5oz per bottle now, apparently it should be more like 8.

He’s happy, healthy and gaining weight. And God do I wish that I’d had someone in those early days tell me that it’s FINE however he eats as long as he is healthy. And that I wasn’t shit.

Babies don’t follow a guide.

You are not doing anything wrong. You are clearly a wonderfully caring Mum who’s devotion to her child is obvious to anyone reading your posts.

It’s so hard when they feed all the time. Sleep deprivation is just hell. Like actual hell. But it will pass!!!

And anyone who says their 8 week old only wakes twice a night is either very lucky, has sold their soul to the devil in exchange for a magic baby sleeping spell, or lying.

Sounds like my now 5mo was in the early months. He now feeds every 3 hours (sometimes 2) and doesn't take much more than 4oz at a time. Still feels like a very long way off sleeping through. He's not decided to wake up every 1.5 hours which is fun. Like PP have mentioned, some babies are just programmed to be this way!

It’s so totally normal. My only advice is to try and lower your expectations of your baby. For a good few months it’s expected to be up all night.

It might be that she’s not hungry and just wants to be close for a cuddle. Trying a dummy or swaddling might help. Trying to get her to sleep after she’s been awake for an hour (at any point!) also might help but she’ll get there in time.

Lots of babies don’t take 4oz every 4 hours ever!

And anyone who says their 8 week old only wakes twice a night is either very lucky, has sold their soul to the devil in exchange for a magic baby sleeping spell, or lying

I was like that with my first and then my second was just a sleeping dream baby. They do exist but it felt very strange after the first slightly more challenging experience.

I think her being small definitely has something to do with it. My baby was 6lb 9 and now at 11 weeks is just starting to go longer that 2 hours between some feeds. However at night she does now sleep at least 4 hour blocks. Have you tried a dummy to see if it’s the sucking she’s looking for? Also do you happen to use a perfect prep machine? My baby has drunk way more volume since I stopped using it

Hi

I have tried a dummy but she wasn’t bothered about it :/
I do use the perfect prep machine, can I ask why you stopped using it? That’s really strange that’s she’ll have more if you don’t use it.

Hi, sorry you’re struggling, I also am (my baby is 3 weeks) but for different reasons (with my baby it’s definitely wind, constantly). However, I notice you mentioned you use Tommee Tippee, l was using these initially but read somewhere on here to try Dr Browns bottles instead and they’re honestly so much smoother. If she is gulping lots of air with tommee tippee then definitely consider trying new bottles? I’ve heard the MAM ones are good too. Sorry if this is no help, I just know when I’m at my wits end I will try anything. Good luck to you.

Yes, I'd echo perhaps trying different bottles. My son was awful on tommee tippee bottles. We switched to Mam bottles which he found feeding from so much easier. Used Mam bottles straight away second time round and had far less wind/colic issues. My little one is 4 weeks and very much still in the little and often phase. She's mostly feeding every 2 hours over night. Each stage is just a phase though. I'm finding that much easier to cope with second time round. It's so hard when you're right in it and it feels like forever but they do change before you know it. It does improve and they do start spacing out feeds.

I think your expectations are way off. You cant entertain an 8 weeks old for starters. Their stomachs are tiny they will feed very often. It IS exhausting. Sounds like showy off mums with different babies are making you doubt yourself and the reality of the process.

I was advised not to use the perfect prep machine by health visitor , I was already aware they don’t like them but this time I listened. I now make bottles using the kettle and the powder dues seem to dissolve better and milk is less bubbly. Definitely worth a try

First of all you're doing great!! I really struggled with feeding times til about 6 weeks because bubba is a huge eater and we had colic etc. Now he's 10weeks and we're having another crisis

How often does your baby nap? I'm asking because I've just realised that what I was taking as hunger cues were overtired cues and have started putting him down for naps so he gets more sleep. Could that be a possibility?

Each baby is different though, but just a thought.

Definitely try different bottles MAM are good

It’s a myth that formula fed babies sleep more than breastfed, every baby is different. The first few weeks can be tough regardless of how you feed them.
Eight weeks is no age. At this stage you do have no choice but to respond to their cues and if you think there are other issues then seek some input from HV or GP though this is a lottery.
If she hasn’t got colic or reflux or a mil allergy then try anew bottle to to try to reduce wind. Otherwise if she appears to need this sort of feeding schedule go with it. Her tummy is tiny and as she grows she will take more milk.