Did I buy my teenager daughter enough for her birthday?

[Lorna321]

Hi, I'm just feeling a little down as I'm concerned that I may not have bought my daughter enough for her 13th birthday last week. She is so lovely and well behaved, and never asks for anything. Her dad and I have separated (I have another long-term partner), so she does get 2 sets of gifts. But I was a little stuck as to what to get her this year - it was so much easier when she wanted toys! My partner and I bought her some Nike trainers (which she wanted, £30), a Nike hoodie (£30), a Pandora ring (£45) and lots of little gifts (hair and nail products, sweets, etc) - all together, the gifts probably came to about £140. My partner and I also took her and her friend bowling then for a KFC. We were originally going to go to a theme park, but we decided that it probably wasn't a good idea due to Covid. I'm now wondering if that was enough? Her dad bought her lots of clothes, a nice bracelet, took her for a meal and apparently has another gift. Although I don't see it as a competition at all, and never have, it has made me doubt whether our gifts were enough. As mentioned, she is so lovely and polite, she would never tell me if she was disappointed with what she'd received.
Any thoughts? Honesty appreciated :) Thanks

sounds plenty to me

Define what you mean by enough?

That's more than I'd buy my teen daughter for her birthday. Other people will spend 100s on their teens and think you are being mean. If it's things she likes and in line with what you usually give her, then it 's probably fine.

Sounds like a very lucky young lady to me.

I do get what you mean, our son turned 13 recently we got him a playstation game we preordained anyway so just waited till his birthday for it and a gift bag with small stuff, all he wanted was some playstation game thing that costed money.

He kept on saying 'mum dad i really do not want anything else, seriously!' So when covid calms down (we are not in the uk though so not as bad as in the uk for us) we gave him an iou to take him to a special lunch thing he wants to do.

My DD was also 13 a couple of weeks ago and that's more than we got her!

That sounds plenty. What makes you doubt yourself?

Oh we got him a book as well

I didn't want to buy for the sake of it but wanted 13 to be more special

Lots of nice presents there. Your DD is old enough to know the value of it all.
FWIW my mother since I was about 13 has given deodorant, shower gel, chocolates, £20 and a pair of tights. (Used to be school colour tights. That was it for the year.) I'd be made up with £140 worth of gifts I wanted.
I tend to go a bit mad on my DD as,a result.

Different families have different meanings of 'enough'. Especially on mumsnet, there'll always be the parent who spends £1500, always. And equally parents who are sure that their child only really needs woollen socks and gruel.

From reading her list, it sounds like she received lovely presents.

The subtext, I think, is that you're worried her father will give her more, and make your contribution look mean. Don't let comparison be the thief of your joy, and if she's half-smart she will quickly know that DDad buying more presents does not = more love.

(I speak as an ex-child whose father took her on Harrods shopping sprees, while I lived with my less monied mother).

Thank you very much for the replies - I appreciate you all taking the time. I think I do tend to doubt myself a lot in general, so it helps to get others' perspectives. Glad to hear that it sounds as though I did OK - I feel better now! Thanks again :)

I think it sounds plenty to me. About the same as I would give my daughter really .You say she is lovely and well behaved and children who are "spoilt" rarely are! She has her Dads stuff as well .Please dont make it a competition between you ,as by the time she is 18 she will be expecting a new car and the keys to her own flat!

It sounds good to me. My daughter is turning 13 soon and is also lovely and a people-pleaser, so I understand your anxiety. But that's about what we would get for our DD (and we are well off financially, so no constraints there).

That sounds lovely OP and I bet your daughter was happy with her gifts and the lovely day she had.

Your gifts sound lovely and thoughtful I wouldn't worry at all.

Shoes that she wanted, a hoodie, jewellery, a day out and some smaller treats. That's plenty. It sounds like you put thought into the presents. Don't worry about it.

I bought my teens one present. You are more than generous.

Sounds like your daughter is extremely lucky! Where did you get Nike trainers for thirty quid? What a bloody bargain!