New baby. Crying all the time and feeling angry

[LMcmahon]

My new baby is 1 month old and we have a 2 and a half year old.
Im really struggling, im either crying all the time or i go into sudden unexpected fits of rage!
When baby wont settle, or wont feed properly etc i just get so upset. I blame myself for being a rubbish mum and not knowing what to do and i end up in floods of tears that i just cant stop.

My 2 year old has been challenging since baby came and i have no patience whatsoever. I get cross with him and then have the worst mum guilt ever for getting cross with him. And then inevitably end up in tears again!

And my poor husband. I take it all out on him, i shout at him, i tell him everything hes doing is wrong when its not at all. Im constantly short amd snappy with him and starting arguements and i know hes really worried about me and how im coping.

I just cant pull myself out of this low mood and be happy. My husband must hate coming home to this house, there is a constant black cloud over us all and its all because of me.

Is this normal? Am i going crazy? Has anyone else felt like this?!

This sounds so difficult! Have you mentioned it to your health visitor? Could it be post natal depression? Can you get any help from family?

I absolutely felt like this and still do at times, the 2nd is now 9 months. I found going from 1to 2 incredibly tough; it seemed like no one got a good deal, least of all me. It does get easier little by little. Take whatever help you can and ask for it if necessary

Sounds a bit post partum depression-esque to me. See your GP. I do hope you feel better soon.

It's incredibly common to have post natal depression/ anxiety/PTSD after a birth. See your GP for some cognitive behavioural therapy, you can refer yourself. You don't need meds of you don't want to have them. Also, try and create a list of who does what in the house so you can ensure your other half isn't cheating out on his duties and making life harder for you - get your other half to take on a lot more of the 2yr old's stuff so you have enough time for baby and yourself. X

Phone your health visitor or GP and get some help. Baby blues is one thing, but crying all the time and raging may be post natal depression.

Crying all the time and raging doesn't sound good - seconding PPs that say speak to your GP. Perhaps your hormones are out of kilter? Or perhaps PND, as others have suggested? Something doesn't sound right.

I found it really hard going from 1-2 and have similar age gaps. I honestly had never shouted at my oldest until his sister came along and found myself loosing it at him more times than I would like to remember. My second is 4months now and although I still find it hard it's nothing like it was at the beginning. What helped was time-the baby coming out of 4th trimester, my hormones settling and oldest getting bit more used to not having undivided attention, he also went back to nursery for 3mornings and that really helped me feel like I could give the baby one on one time and also get stuff done. I relaxed about oldest watching TV while I'm sorting the baby too. You will get there but sending solidarity as the first few months are so hard 💐

I felt like this with my first... He cried all the time and I really struggled. It's only now, with my second baby, that I realise just how bad got with my first. Anger and sadness is likely post natal depression. I've also heard of post natal rage. I took it out on my poor husband and was miserable for months. In hindsight I wish I'd spoken to HV or GP. Mefication might have helped. Now with baby 2 I'm happy pretty much all day long... The contrast is phenomenal.