Lost my mum

[Abi79]

Hi, I lost my mum 2 months ago to cancer. She had a long hard battle for 15 years, but she was so amazing, however with covid at the end when she went to the hospice we were all kept away from her massively. I held her hand 2 hours before she died, but my children never got to see her. My problem is that my daughter,9, was so close to her and she’s really struggling. She expects her school friends to understand, and she won’t sleep. Our 2 sons seem to be dealing better. But how can I help dd. I have taken her to the grave she was at the funeral she is by my side and I tell her I’m 50% mum so my cuddles are almost as good. Nothing comforts her

She has my mums scarfs and smells and things. I’m stuck xx

Any advise please

Please see above and what I asked. I think I’m meant to repeat it all again sorry guys

Lost my mum4
Today 03:12 Abi79

Hi, I lost my mum 2 months ago to cancer. She had a long hard battle for 15 years, but she was so amazing, however with covid at the end when she went to the hospice we were all kept away from her massively. I held her hand 2 hours before she died, but my children never got to see her. My problem is that my daughter,9, was so close to her and she’s really struggling. She expects her school friends to understand, and she won’t sleep. Our 2 sons seem to be dealing better. But how can I help dd. I have taken her to the grave she was at the funeral she is by my side and I tell her I’m 50% mum so my cuddles are almost as good. Nothing comforts her
OP’s

I’m sorry I don’t know what to say to help but I had to post as I’m currently waiting in the car outside hospital for news on my mum.

My DD is 8 and is so close to my mum if anything happens I don’t know how either of us will cope.

I wonder if it’s worth looking at grief counselling (poss virtual at the moment?) and I have heard some suggestions for books to help children?

I hope you are looking after you as well.

She's grieving. It's awful. You need to tell her that it's OK to feel like this, but your mum would not want her to be sad.

Just be there and comfort her. It's all you can do really. She will start to feel better quicker than you think. She has school for one thing, and friends, and the friends not understanding might not be such a bad thing.

@Abi79 so sorry for your lose. I lost mine in 2012 to cancer we didn’t even know she had until the day before she died. I was angry hurt and upset I was only 22 I’ve been through a lot without her and she never got to meet my children! For you daughter she is only 9 talk to her ask her how she is feeling about her nan, tell her nan is watching over her and she wouldn’t want her to be sad tell her the nan is the brightest star in the star ask your daughter does she want to write a letter with her feelings in it and then let it go (like as in on a ballon) I hope this helps.

Contact a bereavement counsellor like Cruise, I believe they have ones specifically trained for children. So sorry for your loss. We have lost all 4 grandparents now, but loosing my MIL was particularly hard for my 2 sons as she looked after them the most. I would say to my sons that Nanny wouldn’t like it that they were sad and would want more than anything for them to be happy.