Surely this can't be OK

[Ohalrightthen]

My 11 month old DD seems to be trying to drop all naps.

She's been a 2-nap girl since about 7 months, and she's been a star at self settling since about 5m, we night weaned and now she sleeps through every night, shes chatting and crawling and climbing and pulling herself up on everything, she's so close to walking, just in general she's a super happy cheery lovely little baby.

But she's stopped napping. She started fighting the morning nap, and i thought huh, that's early to drop to one, so i kept trying, but would give up after half an hour if she really wasn't having it. So she was about 50/50 a one nap baby, which was possibly a bit early, so i kept trying.

THEN she started fighting the one nap. I resorted to breastfeeding to sleep a couple of times (havent done that for months) but each time she only slept for 20 minutes and then was 100% ready to party. So, no nap.

This is insane, right? I don't need her to nap in the day, I'm not worried about me time or chores or whatever, but she's not even 1, she can't possibly be ready for no daytime sleep, it's so developmentally important.

Any wisdom?

I have an 7 month old who doesn’t really nap and never has (they are a machine!) completely different to other children.

Most I get is 20mins cat naps once or twice a day but they are quite happy to go through the day not napping.

HV will day it’s fine, like adults children will need different amounts of sleep. I had a friend whose child dropped their naps completely at 8/9months and they are a healthy happy 4 year old now.

Look up 12 month sleep regression. IMO, yes, she’s definitely too young to drop all naps. It’s a bit early, but she might be trying to transition to one lunch time nap. Keep persevering though.

@FizzingWhizzbee123

Look up 12 month sleep regression. IMO, yes, she’s definitely too young to drop all naps. It’s a bit early, but she might be trying to transition to one lunch time nap. Keep persevering though.

She's 11 months tomorrow and this has been going on for weeks, do you think maybe she's just a crazy overachiever with the milestones? Her nighttime sleep is spotless, 7-7 every time.

Do you think i should keep feeding her to sleep? Or is that a big step backwards, and i should just let her not nap? URGH it feels like either way I'm teaching bad habits!

Just stop fighting with her - if she wants to nap she will. There are no prizes involved (unless like me you get to nap too!)

My DS hit all of his sleep regressions about a month early. Timeframes are only approx, it’s all developmental. The 8 month sleep regression hits between 8-10 months, and can go on a while (about 8 weeks with DS if I recall 😳), so it could be that one instead. Either way, I would be surprised if she goes through a rocky patch then suddenly goes back to napping and also wakes up with a new skill and you’ll go “oh, now it all makes sense!”

I probably wouldn’t feed to sleep unless she’s obviously getting hysterically overtired. I’d try not to add any new issues that you’ll need to undo later. Does she scream if you put her down for a nap? I used to just leave DS to roll around in the dark in his cot for an hour. He’s sleep or he wouldn’t, but thankfully generally didn’t scream. If she’s happy to lay in the cot, I’d just keep putting her down to offer the nap but not stress if she doesn’t. If it hasn’t passed within the next 3-4 weeks, it might be something else but if it is a regression, it just needs time to pass. Could try a few pram or car naps to get her back on track, if that helps her sleep?

I might even experiment with going back to two naps for a week or so, just to see if it works. She might have had a blip, where you dropped the nap, but she might be past it now and actually it’s just overtiredness build up keeping her awake.

There have been times when I was sure DS was giving up naps. During lockdown, they totally went for about 4 weeks, but then they magically came back. If possible, I really would preserve. Eleven months is exceptionally young to drop all naps.

@FizzingWhizzbee123 we've been trying 2 naps still, but yeah if i put her down and she doesn't fancy it she just screams the house down. I did CC with nightwakings, so i tried that again the other day with naps, but she got utterly hysterical after 3 minutes and i won't let her be that upset.

I have weird irrational panic that being awake for 12 hours at a time will damage her little growing brain!

Ah that sounds hard I remember DS going through a phase where he would scream at bedtime and would only settle for an absurd amount of milk (I mean, like, two bottles! It was ridiculous. I think he was using the sucking to soothe himself). I worried I was creating bad habits but there was only so much screaming we could take. It did pass though, and didn’t create a long term milk problem.

Will she sleep in the car or pram for now? Just to try and get her back into the routine and catch up on her sleep?

How is she if she doesn’t nap? Is she ok? Or overtired later?

DS3 has always always fought naps, but he is a demon by mid-afternoon if he doesn’t sleep. So we force him to nap (keep putting him back to bed when he tries to get up until he gives in and sleeps). Once he’s asleep, he will sleep for up to three hours, so he definitely needs it.

@ChristmasCarcass

How is she if she doesn’t nap? Is she ok? Or overtired later?

DS3 has always always fought naps, but he is a demon by mid-afternoon if he doesn’t sleep. So we force him to nap (keep putting him back to bed when he tries to get up until he gives in and sleeps). Once he’s asleep, he will sleep for up to three hours, so he definitely needs it.

She makes it to about 5pm, and then gets really crabby. Dinner is a huge struggle, but then she perks up when we strip her off for bath time.

I hear you with the keeping trying, but she just won't have it. She gets hysterical and no amount of trying again later makes a difference. I suppose being a strongwilled woman will stand her in good stead for life, but man is it hard work now..

Ds did this a couple of weeks ago (he's 11 months too) and it was hell. He would just stand screeching in his cot every time we put him for a nap. It was awful for a few days but in the end we had to just leave him to it for his night time sleep as he's not the kind of baby to be rocked or cuddled to sleep. Within a few minutes he got down and lay down. He got up and down a couple more times but gave up really quickly and went to sleep! It was harder for daytime naps and for a couple of days I resorted to pushing him in the pram for a couple of hours so he could catch up on his sleep and he wouldn't be overtired for bedtime. Then I tried him back in the cot and he's been fine. Back to 2 naps a day with only a minute or so of shouting before he gives up 😁. I think using a crutch (such as breastfeeding or pram naps) for a short time will not undo all your hard work, she knows how to nap, she will do again! Good luck!

This exact thing happened when my DS was 11 months. He still needed the nap, but I ended up having to pace the corridor cuddling him in order for him to take it. A year later he will now only nap in the buggy or car but still needs it.

I really think you should simply stop worrying - her brain is just fine - there is no reason to think otherwise.

Some babes are dormice; some are more active; some need a nap; some do not.

If you are still having peaceful nights, then raise a cheer and fill her day with lots of fun. And relax.........

@Mischance

I really think you should simply stop worrying - her brain is just fine - there is no reason to think otherwise.

Some babes are dormice; some are more active; some need a nap; some do not.

If you are still having peaceful nights, then raise a cheer and fill her day with lots of fun. And relax.........

She just gets so crabby and sad at the end of the day though, and refuses to eat her dinner and generally is just absolutely miserable. We have brilliant days together, but i hate the fact that the last two or three hours of every day for her are just miserable and rubbish.

Yes - I hear that, and it must be a pain. But I guess that is better than a twice daily fight to get her to lie down and sleep - she will begin to associate her cot with battles and misery and that cannot be helpful in the long term.

Maybe a walk in the pushchair after lunch might lead to a snooze. Worth a try - at the very least she will have had some fresh air! I used to do this with mine and in the main they would drop off for a while and I would then park the pushchair back at the house or garden till they woke.

But please do not think there is anything wrong with her - or that this phase will not pass - it surely will. It is often a problem that a child's desire for a snooze is never when we want them to!

Good luck!