Biting - help please!

[Skate]

DS2, who is almost 2, has just started biting.

He bit DS1 yesterday for the first time and I was really shocked (DS1 never bit). He bit him on his back through a t-shirt and vest but still managed to leave a mark that it still there today.

He's just bitten him on the arm and it's scraped the skin and left a nasty bruise that's come up instantly so he must have really sunk his teeth in.

He does have quite a temper and previously has just thrown toys, or himself, on the floor. The 2 occasions he's done it, it's been because they've been fighting over something so at least not a random 'attack' but even so, it needs sorting or I'm going to be afraid to go to friends.

I showed him the bite and asked him to say sorry but he wouldn't (he didn't fight me but just looked at me) so I've put him on the 'naughty' step at the bottom of the stairs but that's not phased him either. He's been sate there about 10 mins and he's quite happy!

What do I do - there must be lots of you out there that have managed to combat this!

I have my own views but try this
help with biters

When dd did this I picked her up without a word, marched her straight to the step and said in my most strict mummy voice 'Mummy does not like biting'. We didn't have a long conversation -just a completely different reaction to biting as opposed to 'normal' misbehaviour

skate ,my ds did bit a few times just before he was two but they weren't hard enough to leave a mark.I think he was experimenting.He was told of quite severely(made dh jump! i shouted so loud).It was psrtly shock that made me shout.
Anyway he hasn't done it again.

Maybe teach him to lash out at something inanimate such as cushion .

You have my sympathy and good luck sorting it out.

Thanks Polly - hopefully he'll just do it this few times and only to ds1!? Caught him trying to do it again before - it's always when they are trying to hustle each other out of the way of something so I let the fight go on while i watched and I saw him open his mouth so intervened then.

Just really want to nip it in the bud before he decides to taste anyone else!

Skate - I am exasperated by my 3rd's fondness for biting. My other two tested the waters a couple of times but nothing like this. I've done the calm removal, the firm "no", loud shouts, naughty step, etc. Nothing has stopped it. He does it most frequently to DD2 but I've no idea why (perhaps she plays with him more than DD1?). He also kicks (proper runing attacks not sly ones) and thumps. So far has not done so outside the immediate family but don't know what I'll do if/when that happens.

I suppose he does fight for attention when the others are home from school (has me all to himself all day though). I checked out the website recommended but doesn't really help me. Any advice would be welcome - especially if anyone has had this experience with their third.

Have U tried shutting them in a room, or outside, or anyway they're denied access 2 u? More extreme than a "naughty step", but it's the kind of tactic that we reserve 4 totally unacceptable behavior -- & it works.

Thanks Zebra - yes, I'll have to do something more extreme cos today I did the naughty step and putting him his cot and neither bothered him! Don't want to use his cot as punishment anyway or else I might set up a negative sleep association.

Plus, I don't think he does it for attention so taking away attention (ie ignoring him as it said on that website) wouldn't work. I know he only did it yesterday and today, but it's only when they are fiercely arguing over something and get into physical shoving so I think it's his way of showing aggression and getting his way.

Any other suggestions out there?

Yoyo - does sound like your problem could be attention though but still not sure how else you might handle it.

Lets hope some 'old hands' will come on with words of wisdom!

Bump - any advice out there?

I think its fairly common. DS (now 4) had several bites from kids at nursery & occasionally did his fair share back
Obviously once he'd been bitten & found he didn't like it - it was easier to explain that it wasn't nice to bite & that it hurt (not suggesting you bite him by the way !). But I tried to discourage it by explanation & withholding treats.

renmove him from the situation .. say no firmly and walk away from him .. put him on a step or in a boring room for 2 minutes

don't concentrate on the saying sorry .. although its important in the end .. concentrate on immediate and impactful reaction to a bad habit

Skate - I would echo twiglett's advice. My twin DS went through a phase of this at around the age of 2.
I would remove biter to bottom stair with a firm "no biting" and give no other attention to him while lavishing attention on victim. I was advised not to show biter his handiwork and to be persistent with the no attention approach. Don't be afraid to mix with other kids. Mine only ever bit each other. I found the biting stopped when their language skills improved. Now at 3.5 years they shout and argue instead! Still trying to find a solution to that.

1. Don't bite back. "But the child needs to learn that biting hurts," you may reason. Yes, but there's no way your child will decide that she shouldn't bite if you bite. Try this alternative tooth-for-tooth method: Take your child aside and ask her to let you show her how teeth feel on skin. Press your child's forearm against her upper teeth as if she were biting herself, not in an angry revengeful way, but as a parent making a point, "See, biting hurts!" Give this lesson immediately after he bites you or someone else. You want your child to learn to be sensitive to how others feel ? an early lesson in empathy.

askdrsears.com/html/6/t063900.asp

Thanks all. Beachedwhale - I'm hoping that he only bites ds1 - not that I want him to bite him but I'd be mortified if he bit a friends child/his friends.

Lets see how tomorrow goes - I'm going to follow Twigletts idea tomorrow. The only thing is, I don't think it's attention seeking but I'll give it a whirl!

Skate .. just a warning it takes around 3 weeks to unlearn / learn a habit .. so consistency is going to be key over the next few weeks

HTH

good luck with jaws

OK, blimey - was hoping to crack it tomorrow!

No bites today except on dh's shoulder after work - eek! Dh gave a stern telling off and it made him cry (ds that is, not dh ) so maybe that was the shock he needed.

I'm watching this one with interest. ds (nearly three) has occasionally bitten dd (6) when they're having funfights. It sounds weird but he seems to do it out of excitment and it's not particularly hard, although we've obviously told him it's wrong and that 'teeth are for food and not people'(!). Yesterday we were at a really busy soft play and he bit another child. I was mortified. His speech is not very good but I think he was saying that the other boy wouldn't let him get out of a tunnel and so he bit him. The other boy was really upset and had a nasty mark on his arm (thru' a long sleeved top). The other mum was really good about it, I could see that she was furious but she stayed quite calm and accepted my apology. I did see her telling her son off later on for hitting someone else, so maybe he was being naughty towards the other children (although obviously this doesn't excuse my sons's behaviour). Any suggestions would be welcome. Has anyone seen any good story books for children that might broach the subject?