14 month old waking 1-2 hours after bedtime needing a nappy change & wont go back to sleep

[rainbowcakes]

Hi all, could do with some advice on this as im out of ideas!

DD is 16 months old (premature so developmentally is 14 months). If relevant, she is not yet crawling or walking (but is starting to show signs of wanting to).

She goes to bed around 6pm each night, she is always tired by this time. Normally she self settles with no problems and stays asleep until morning (i know we are very lucky).

In the last few weeks, shes been going to sleep at bedtime as normal (self settling fine). But around 1-2 hours after going to sleep, she wakes up with a dirty nappy. Go to change her, and after this she just will not go back to sleep. She lies in her cot and just screams and cries.

Have tried staying in the room with her until she falls asleep (doesnt happen), try coming in & out at regular intervals (this seems to reset the process) or leaving her to it (absolutely hate doing this). The only thing that works is bringing her back downstairs for a bit, then after an hour or so we put her back to bed & she self settles okay.

If she doesnt have a dirty nappy then she will usually stay asleep but it seems to be every single night at the minute. Could be separation anxiety, could be teething.... Im just at a loss to how to get her back to sleep after changing her - im concerned we've now made a rod for our own backs bringing her downstairs but she just gets so upset.

Re naps - she has 2 naps a day. They arent at set times, but usually has at least an hour for each nap. Not sure if this is relevant to this.

Thank you in advance for any advice

Oh bless you. Honestly? I wouldn’t stress about it, I’d just bring her downstairs for an hour then take her back up. It won’t last forever.
The reason she can’t get back to sleep is that she’s already had two hours by the time she needs a nappy change and is “awake.”
She’s going to bed very early though - could you stretch her to 7/7.30 which might help? She might do a dirty nappy in that time and then sleep through.
But I wouldn’t leave her to scream and cry, there’s no such thing in my book as a rod for your own back. Once you’ve sorted one thing, something else crops up

I would agree 6pm is very early for bedtime, maybe try planning your naps out so she’s tired closer to 7-7:30?

Honestly we’ve been through phases like this, sometimes I just have to bring her downstairs for an hour then take her back up once she’s tired again - it passes and I don’t really see the point leaving her to get upset. I wouldn’t worry about getting her back into routine, these things all pass - just do what makes life easiest for you I say!

Thank you both so much for your kind words, you've made me feel a lot better! I was feeling really bad (and a bit pathetic) for bringing her back downstairs every time she wont resettle!

I agree her bedtime seems (ridiculously) early. I have thought this for a while (especially compared to others her age) but shes always furiously rubbing her eyes and whinging around this time, so have never considered making it later before. Definitely worth trying to stretch it out until 7/7.30 to see if that makes a difference

What time does she eat her tea? Has her diet changed recently? It may be that she hasn't had enough time to poo before bed or that something is irritating her stomach. My 14 month old will often poo about 30 mins to an hour after tea. Too much fruit also makes her go so we try to limit it over the day.

Like you've already identified, I think pushing bed time later might be the the best way forward. It's worth a try anyway.

Good luck - I hope it improves soon.

@Ihaveoflate she eats around 4.45pm. I cant think of any recent changes to her diet 🤔 we try not to give her fruit after lunchtime in case thats causing it.

But it looks like the early bedtime definitely isnt helping! We will try and tackle that next. Thank you for your advice