Feeling very inadequate as a mum

[Eloise97]

Hi everyone, feeling very low today :(

Feel very inadequate as a mum.
Questioning everything I do... do my children watch too much tv??
Why is my child misbehaving so much today??

Is my mood rubbing off on them??

I love my children dearly but I'm counting down the minutes till bedtime

Anyone else??

Couldn't read and run, but just lost my first message.

Yes, frequently.
You are not inadequate. You are enough.

Can you get out of the house for a walk with them for a bit? I usually spend more time getting out the house than the actual walk but at least it gives focus.

How old are your kids?

Make sure everyone gets a big cuddle at bedtime and remember tomorrow is another day. Some days being a parent is tough.

@Phizpop they are 10 months and 2

Wow that’s a close age gap! I can imagine that must be very hard work.

I have a 2 year old, I’m struggling and can’t imagine having a 10 month old to look after too.

Please give yourself a break. 2 year olds can’t misbehave they’re just toddlers. They’re supposed to have tantrums. So what if they watch tv? My little girl watches plenty.

I find it helps to get out everyday for a walk or play date. Usually in the morning. Naptime, and then do an activity at home like pizza making/ painting/ water play. Anything really.

Some days I can’t do it though. So I just hang out at home and in the garden with snacks and TV- she’s perfectly happy.

Are you getting a break in the evening? Do you have someone who can take care of them for a few hours during the day?

I have a 6 month old and feel the same. He has a chest infection and a gunky eye, and im blaming myself.

I tell myself tomorrow is another day and try and be positive

@Eloise97 that's a tough age as well. Both ages finding they can have more influence than before but unable to be independent yet. My youngest is 2, but I have a larger age gap and eldest just started school. It does get easier.

Do you feel low on mood frequently? Have you had any support? (aware covid has put on hold so many groups that were a life saver to me, I'm not sure how I would have managed if mine had been a year younger)

@Eloise97 how was the rest of you day? Be kind to yourself, tomorrow is another day. I hope you have a support network you can call upon in real life.

@Phizpop I had a good cry when the the boys went to bed... feel a little better. I suffer with postpartum depression so I have days like this

Sometimes a good cry is what's needed. It's good to realise you feel low and you need to release it. I'm sorry you are suffering with the PND, do reach out to anyone who has offered support. I didn't suffer with depression but I know what it's like to live with anxiety. Services are around despite covid, you might just need to say you need some support (as hard as that may be).

I sympathise OP. Mine watched too much tv today. And I feel rubbish about it.
They're 2.5 and 18months and sometimes it hard work! You're not alone.

@Elmo311 sometimes I just need that break. I always said I wouldn't use the tv as a babysitter but sometimes it's just easier

So did I, think that I wouldn't use the TV in that way, but I do, almost every day, and for much longer periods than I ever wanted, or even set out that day. But sometimes it's all I can manage.

Came across this poem at the weekend, I thought you might like to read it too , but no idea how to make it a clicky link...

stockportsnowdrops.wordpress.com/2019/03/18/the-mum-i-thought-id-be/

It is OK, the children are safe and they are loved, and it's OK to need a break. It's OK to not be OK.

@Phizpop that's a lovely poem. Thankyou for all that you have said x

How are you feeling now? Motherhood is hard, don't feel bad about having to use TV sometimes. That's what it is there for. It's hard work with a small age gap too (although they should have more in common when they are a bit bigger so that will help). Don't feel bad, everyone has tough days. Everyone needs a break too. It is relentless sometimes.