Appropriate punishment

[Wallywobbles]

What would you think would be the appropriate punishment for 2 x14yo DDs skipping school to go to McDonald's?

DH is furious but I can't work up much anger.

Thoughts please.

Depends why they did it.

Did they skip a whole day? What else did they do?

Phone confiscation etc. Also make aware the dangers of being somewhere they shouldn't have been at a time they should be in school.

I’m not sure. If they are generally well behaved and this isn’t like them I’d probably have a serious talk with them about the value of their education and why it’s important to be in school. If it’s part of a pattern I would be looking for support from school.

Eating McDonalds 🤣

Once? A stiff ignoring.

Repeatedly The frame of mind I'm in, a very firm lecture about the time they've missed in education already & the fact their teachers are not putting themselves at risk for them to piss off to McD's. Etc etc etc.

I’d be furious! I’d ban any McDonald’s visits for the next x amount of months (depending how often you go as a family) and ground them.

Skipping school - unacceptable

Grounded / phone confiscated / extra chores

I couldn't get that worked up about it as a one off.

Did the school catch them?

Yup school sent us a text. I rang DDs, they answered. DH was picking them up from school. They got a short roasting. It was stupid but I think they're beginning to try for some independence.

They basically skipped out on the 1 hour prep session at the end from 5-6pm. Which is a paid extra.

DH still furious. I think he was very worried. I'm a bit more blasé. On another day I might have been angry I suppose. I just don't have it in me today.

The endless teen dramas are wearing me down.

Make them eat a whole plate of veg to compensate for eating shite...

So they'd already been at school til 5pm?

Understand your lack of anger

But, they've had something paid for for their benefit and chosen not to attend. That's wasteful and perhaps they should 'pay that back' out of pocket money reduction

Applaud the initiative and ability to make their own decisions

Your title is misleading. They did not skip school to go to McDonalds but an extra after school study session

They basically skipped out on the 1 hour prep session at the end from 5-6pm. Which is a paid extra.

I would not punish, but ask them why they felt the prep session was something that could be skipped? If it’s material they can study on their own, in the own time, then why pay for it? At 14 they are old enough to be a bit more independent and can even be home alone for that last hour if you only have the 5-6pm activity because you’re a dual income family.

I think I'd skip school if I had to stay there until 6! Are they at private school?

So they didn’t really skip school, they skipped an after school study session. Can you have a conversation with them and see if they would rather study in their own time? If they do want to continue with after school study make them aware that they need to attend every session as you’re paying for it, if they don’t they can study independently.

We are in France school day is 8-4.45. They then have étude (homework). The nub of the issue is they don't like the guy that takes their group for this session.

We live an hour away by car and 8km from the local station so it's not really optional. We all work/school in the same town then drive home. (6 of us in total). This way when we get home they're done for the day. They use the commute for phone time.

This year is a big year in terms of exams.

Works well but the days are long. Much longer than the UK I think.

Still, l'étude isn't expensive, far from it and it is more supervised homework than anything else.
Is there a library nearby in which they could go and do their homework? Or a friend's house from time to time?

For this time, talk to them and let it go. Didn't you do any petty crime in your youth?

Why did you pick a school so far away from home. An hour by car in France is a huge distance unless you live at the top of a mountain and as most schools have the same level, there isn;'t really a reason to go so far. Especially given that very soon the amount of homework will be a lot more than 1 hour per day. Even now, I doubt they are completely done in that short amount of time, given the frequency of the évaluations.

Can they switch groups?
It’s only an hour, why not study (for free) in a cafe?

To be fair etude is much like other schools detentions. Staying late, forced to do your studies on the spot.

Étude is 8€ a day x4 kids it adds up. School is between the 2 sets of parents for 2 of the kids. I cannot imagine a single cafe that would be happy to have the 4 of them as an alternative. Strangely round the school there is a lack of anything like that. The 2 that are between parents are dysorthographic and need the extra help at étude.

I think this has gone off subject a bit. Anyway discussion was had. DH seems to have recovered his good humor. I think this drama is done.

How strange. Is it a private school? It should be free or super cheap (1 or 2 euros)
Anyway you have sorted it, great. And it is typical of MN to have discussion derail!!

Study hall is not as big of a deal to me as missing class. I would replace smartphone with a basic phone for 1 week. If it was an actual class, my punishment would be much harsher.

why do they dislike the study supervisor. try to gain their confidence on this. it just could be something serious. youngsters cannot assess situations the way we would; they will often laugh at or be annoyed by something that to a grown adult is quite concerning.
how about they all do their homework in the MacDonalds.
maybe they were hungry. it's a v long day for children. when do they get to eat. is it a private school. i thought in Europe they started early and finished early, eg 8 to 2.

Not in France Alex, school finishes around 4 or shortly after. Hence the name of the afternoon snack , le quatre heures, the four o’clock.
I don’t think there is anything sinister in disliking a supervisor. French ones and French teachers are notorious for sarcasm and humiliation. If the kids struggle with French grammar and orthography, it wouldn’t surprise me if the teacher / person in charge, made a comment.

I'm 21 and a mum. I'm new out of school and college, they do have some pointless classes. Some where you would just sit there being taught how to use their new website or stuff that has nothing to do with subjects. Days can be so long that I myself would ditch and walk to the shops and pick up a chippy. They probably just wanted a break and hated the pointless lesson. If this was my kid I'd honestly not care, but I wouldnt want them to know that so id seem unhappy and threaten to take away or lessen money if it's done again. I wouldnt want it to become a habit because done multiple times, it can seriously affect their attendance.