How the fuck do you go for a walk with a toddler?

[YellowEllis]

My toddler is 15 months, wants to walk everywhere, but he's just a nightmare. He won't stay on a path, he just constantly runs off the sides into the bushes to explore but I can't really let him because there's always stinging nettles or brambles. If I hold his hand and try and guide him he throws himself on the floor and screams. If I pick him up and move him back on the bath he throws himself on the floor and screams. I don't understand how people let their toddlers walk anywhere. I'd read about how every walk takes ages as they stop to investigate everything and I was prepared for that. But we walk a few mins then I just end up carrying him whilst he hysterically cries. If I try and put him in the buggy so the dog can have an actual walk the same happens and he just screams because he wants to walk. It's not just bushes, if we're on the pavement he runs straight off on to the road, if we're on the beach he runs straight towards the sea then cries because I have to stop him. He won't stay on paths/pavements/sand. What do I do?

Oh yes and reins.

Reins and mittens that they can't get off. They can't pick anything up with mittens. So they can't pick up rubbish, stones and cigarette butts and put them in their mouths.

Or take them to the woods or fields where there are no cars and let them run free (so long as you can run faster). All in one puddle suits are great in colder weather. DS liked actually sitting down in puddles and muddy patches at that age.

Let them get stuck in the brambles and stung by stinging nettles. They'll soon learn which are the 'stingy' and 'prickly' plants and stay away.

With my twins, backpack reins and backup buggy.
Splashsuites so they were fairly protected.
Acceptance that we would mostly move at the pace of a snail.

@SidVisk

I have twins that are only slightly older and am wondering the same. We moved house especially to be near a gorgeous country park and I just can't take the kids when I'm on my own as they both go in different directions. Reins made no difference at all because they get irate when I don't let them go in the direction they want. But there are so many hazards like cars, loose dogs zooming around off lead, lakes etc... that I can't do it at the moment!

They soon get the idea if you persist.

You have to really teach them to go on walks, it's another skill they have to learn. We have 2 sets of twins and a baby. Lots of consequences if they don't walk properly. Didn't take very long for them to learn to walk nicely and we've always walked everywhere because fuck getting a wagon big enough to put them all in!

Lower your expectations, be prepared for tears, and as a PP said keep distracting with "oh look, butterfly/bird/leaf/whatever!" in the vague direction you actually would like to go in.

Reins, puddle suit. Low expectations too. Most of my toddler's early walks were to the end of our cul de sac, exploring every bloody tree, drain, puddle and stone on the way. Not a walk for any other living being so done separately to walking the older child (or dog).

For walks when we want to go anywhere he's in the sling, a rucksack or the running buggy so we get somewhere enclosed with minimal hazards and let him go, then contain him again when he's tired or bored...

It's like that, sometimes.

If all else fails I scoop them up and ignore. Pretend you're enjoying a nice walk.

As pp, reins and remembering that this phase doesn’t last long before they start to “get” it.

I’m not sure you can combine with something you actually need to get done, like a dog walk, though. I think for a while you either go out for a dog walk (toddler in pushchair) or a toddler walk (no dog, or well trained dog on lead at heel). Sorry.

Reins - and ideally use them as soon as they’re standing. They then get used to them.

Take a pushchair with you, let them toddle about on their reins ie close to you. I found the pushchair helped signal the way we were going and encouraged toddlers to follow it.

If you’re somewhere a pushchair won’t work, use reins, encourage but be ready to just pick them up if you’ve given it a good go and they’re not cooperating.

Reins/rein backpack. Lots of over excited oooh what that? Let's go look at that down car there etc. And if you're actually trying to get somewhere urgently you put them in the pushchair/carry and deal with the screaming.

Once I walk up a hill with ds under 2 heavily pregnant with dd throwing a pebble and ds fetching it back as he didn't realise he was walking up the hill during the game.

omg yes, i also need help with this for my 2 year old. he doesn't like reins, will just lie on the floor if i put them on. going out for slightly longer walks trying to train him since I'm pregnant now and I don't want to buy a new double pram, also because he probs won't fit in one of those fancy double prams! 3ft4 2 year old!

Oh yes, and the constant stream of distraction chatter - “ooh, dd, look at that tree over there, do you think there are fairies living in it? Let’s go and look. Oh dear, no fairies here. How about that tree over there? Race you...” etc etc

Yes to slow, yes to reins, yes to distractions. Also, if you have to put them in the buggy and they scream- they're not going to come to any harm by screaming. I had to put my dd in the buggy when we went shopping as she really couldn't be trusted, reins or no reins. She screamed. Every single time. I let her scream. Eventually she grew out of it.

It’s basically a nightmare. Ds1 wouldn’t walk on reins. He would sit down on the floor. He wouldn’t walk properly and kept trying to run off into the road or go the wrong way. It was a nightmare. Every single time I said if you can’t walk nicely you will have to go in the pram and I stuck to it. Often had to wrestle him into the pram kicking and screaming. I did think I’d be taking him to school in a pram as he just never seemed to get any better at walking. When he was about 2.5 he suddenly got a lot better. It’s like something finally clicked and he realised if he wanted to be out of the pram he’d have to listen to us and not mess around. By 3 he walked perfectly so hang in there, it won’t last forever. I’m currently having the annoying ‘I want to run into the road’ phase with ds2 now!

I think it does just get easier as they get older - quite quickly, though it doesn't feel at the time! I agree with not trying to combine it with a purposeful walk for anyone else at 15 months. I think practice going to places you actually need to go is helpful when they're older - DS got a lot better really quickly when we started walking to nursery, as I really mean and enforce the 'if you don't walk at a reasonable pace and in the right direction I have to pick you up', compared to our meandering, killing time lockdown walks. But he also turned two at around the same time, so was much more capable of getting it than he would have been at 15 months.

I’m sure others have said this but REIGNS, I think my 1 year old would be that type of kid soon. She throws a lot of tantrums anyway and I can see her wanting to explore everything.

Sometimes it’s just a case of waiting until the tantrums settle, until then don’t feel guilty and put him back in the buggy and he can enjoy the walk sitting down!

It’s not your fault he won’t listen x

Reins at that age, walk very slowly and point out things that you see on the way, also we find ‘treasures’ like collecting pine cones, conkers, leaves, twigs ect

This phase won’t last long ! Both mine were out of the buggy by 13 months ( not because I wanted them to be!)
They both were exactly like you described. I just went were there wasn’t too much “danger”.
After a few months they get much easier . Now saying that my 2 year old still gets in to nettles etc but it’s a learning curve for Them !

I have found with nettles that if I don’t say anything my son doesn’t really notice that he has been stung. Just sort of scratches his leg and moves on. Mind you he was only brushing past them rather than trying to roll around in them! They will soon die back for this year anyway

Baby backback with strap, and if mot behaving thrn back in pushchair regardless of screaming. Dog needs walking and their needs take priority in that situation.

My dd learnt she either had to walk properly or she didn't get to walk.

I also never let her walk the whole way, start off walking, then pushchair, then maybe walk at the other end or vice versa

Definitely buy a set of reins. I always told my kids they could take mummy for a walk when I put the reins on them.

I feel your pain OP. DD was 16 months at the start of lockdown and had just about started toddling steadily enough that we could go out for a ‘walk’ for our once-daily exercise. As a PP said, this was mostly wandering around our cul de sac and down the road and back at a snail’s pace while she either fell over, jumped in every tiny puddle, walked onto people’s gardens, picked up stones, sat down, tried to run in the road or lay on the ground in a full on tantrum if she couldn’t get her way 😖. Needless to say we put a backpack with a strap on her!!

I’m happy to report that at 22 months she will now hold my hand nicely and walk a short distance but I still tend to put her in a buggy until we get to where we’re going (eg park etc), otherwise it takes hours to get anywhere.

Ring sling and reins. Pushing an empty buggy MD having a toddler zig zag in front of it with reins on is hellish. A ring sling will fit in your handbag, and once practiced, you can get your toddler up/down within seconds, so ideal for alternating being carried and walking.

It's a phase. The worst of it will be over within 6-12m, though you may still have tantrums about wanting to be carried for longer.

Reins and after he's been stung my a few nettles which won't harm him at all he'll learn.