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How would you handle this ?

2 replies

mug2018 · 25/09/2020 11:20

Long story short to get to the point;
Divorced my controlling, narcissistic exH 16 months ago. 1 DD of 13 who lives with me & sees her dad daily & stays with him alternate weekends
Since the divorce, exH has had a continued string of new women in his life & picks & drops the DD at his whim which DD has struggled with.
I've always been the 'available' parent & picked up her pieces when he's let her down & she knows that our home is our 'safe place'
& here is my dilemma... I met a guy a few months ago who is amazing but I've been careful not to tell my DD about him as I wanted to get to know him & move slowly
I know she will feel that her place in my life will feel threatened (she will always come first) & I know the exH will feed her anger to destroy any opportunity of happiness that I may have.
I don't like to keep secrets from DD & always encourage honesty with her, so how / when do I 'break' this to her & prevent the sabotage of any meetings with my man, at the hands or her or the ExH ?
FYI: the exH moved in with his new GF a month ago & she's come to accept that.

OP posts:
Lockdownseperation · 25/09/2020 11:32

Not until at least 6 months in and you are sure it’s going to continue.

Anordinarymum · 25/09/2020 11:34

@mug2018

Long story short to get to the point; Divorced my controlling, narcissistic exH 16 months ago. 1 DD of 13 who lives with me & sees her dad daily & stays with him alternate weekends Since the divorce, exH has had a continued string of new women in his life & picks & drops the DD at his whim which DD has struggled with. I've always been the 'available' parent & picked up her pieces when he's let her down & she knows that our home is our 'safe place' & here is my dilemma... I met a guy a few months ago who is amazing but I've been careful not to tell my DD about him as I wanted to get to know him & move slowly I know she will feel that her place in my life will feel threatened (she will always come first) & I know the exH will feed her anger to destroy any opportunity of happiness that I may have. I don't like to keep secrets from DD & always encourage honesty with her, so how / when do I 'break' this to her & prevent the sabotage of any meetings with my man, at the hands or her or the ExH ? FYI: the exH moved in with his new GF a month ago & she's come to accept that.
Talk to her. She is 13 and not a baby. Tell her she is the most important person in your life and ask her what she thinks.
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