Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Drug taking, abusive ex partner wants our child for a full day

4 replies

Foxpaws91 · 25/09/2020 10:42

Not sure if this is on the right but just looking for some advice.

I left my partner 2 months ago due to his mentally abusive behaviour, anger issues and drug taking. Our son was born in July last year and he has never helped me with his care, he's never fed him, put him to sleep, got up through the night to settle him or give him milk, he's changed about 10 nappies in total and he doesn't even talk to him, he just makes stupid noises at him. We were together almost 6 years and he was mentally abusing me, I realise now, if I went anywhere I was bombarded by texts, I got accused of sleeping with people, even if I went to the corner shop, everything along those lines. Anyway, on top of this he also takes speed which makes his anger issues even worse. He denies taking it but I know he is, I can tell a mile off.

I had to leave and go to my mams, while he continued to stay in our home for 2 months, while giving me a load of abuse on messages etc, calling me a 'dirty little b*h' because I blocked him on facebook. When I agreed to meet so he could see our son he took my phone from me and went through because he's convinced I'm with another man (I'm really not)
I have informed the police of his behaviour as I'm frightened of him, especially when I move back into my home from my mams. They've logged everything but I've asked them not to say anything to him yet.

When i have invited him to come and see ds, he stands at the door for 5 minutes and makes noises at him then says he's hungry and has to go. Now he has decided he want DS on Saturdays, and I honestly couldn't let that happen, he's really never looked after him in his life and his drug use is another reason. Am I being unreasonable to say that he can't do this? I've said he can take him for a walk but there's no way I could settle if he had him for a full day.

Sorry this is all over the place, there's a lot more to it but I've just put the main bits down.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :-)

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 25/09/2020 10:44

I would see whether he could see your child at a contact centre for a while. I doubt he'd bother turning up, tbh.

Mintjulia · 25/09/2020 10:47

Yanbu.

If he has never looked after your dc before, a whole day would not be supported by the courts. He needs to start with a couple of hours, to allow a bond to grow, and for your dc to feel happy. He needs to show he can care for him appropriately and the DC is happy and content, before he can take him for any longer.

Maybe suggest picking him up at 2pm, taking him to visit relatives and for tea, and then back by bedtime. If he kicks off, say no.

The child is the priority here. not your ex.

Heffalooomia · 25/09/2020 10:48

Well done for leaving this man OP, in your shoes I would distance myself as much as possible, don't engage, don't offer anything

Razpoot · 25/09/2020 15:38

Don't. I'm not sure how old your child is (i wouldn't agree he should be allowed to care for them either way) but these situations are often how shaken baby syndrome happens.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread