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Had enough

22 replies

difficulttod · 24/09/2020 06:02

Just need to vent really.
Third baby is 16 weeks old. She's beautiful, smiley chatty, just started to laugh. But I am finding this SO hard going.
She was diagnosed with CMPA at 8 weeks old, so we had 8 weeks of constant, non stop hysterical painful screaming and we didn't know why until a friend suggested it might be the allergy. Every single night I'd just sit and sob. Because of this she's never fallen asleep on me, I couldn't cuddle or rock her it just made her scream.
She did sleep well, but this week she's now waking up at 4am every night as well as her usual night feed which is between 12 and 3. She wakes at 4, thrashing and writhing around and nothing works to get her back to sleep until I get her up, put lights on and leave her on her playmat until she crashes at 6. If I try to get her back to sleep she cries, I've tried it tonight for an hour patting her and my older two children have now been awake since 5.
She has no pattern to the day, when I think she wants milk she doesn't or will randomly scream taking an entire bottle even though she's hungry. If I think she's tired I'll put her down for a nap but sometimes even if it's only two hours since her last feed she'll be starving, so more screaming. I feel totally out of tune with her needs, she doesn't give any early hungry cues and it's totally unpredictable.
I love her but she's so exhausting. We haven't had anyone look after her since she was born and I feel so drained. Have used headphones, white noise, lots of winding her, bouncers, swaddles, a baby carrier. She just seems really sensitive which is just how she is but it's unbearable sometimes. I barely get time with my other DC and although it's getting better I never imagined that with my last child I'd spend every day counting down until she's not a baby anymore Sad

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Lockdownseperation · 24/09/2020 08:21

Oh man that sounds tough?

Are you bf or ff? Have you joined the CMPA Facebook groups. They’re great.

difficulttod · 24/09/2020 09:08

She's formula fed on neocate, but can also take anywhere from 2 to 5oz at a time so I can never tell when she's full or wants more.

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Lockdownseperation · 24/09/2020 11:07

Not all dairy free formulas are dairy free many of them just contain milk proteins which are broken down. I have two DD with CMPA but DD1 was not diagnosed until 11 months and DD2 is bf so I’m clueless when it come to dairy free formula but definitely join that Facebook group and ask for advice about her formula.

If she is hungry or just crying and your not sure then offer milk, some days they are hungrier than others. I used to walk DD1 for hours and hours in the pram to get her to sleep and DD2 would only sleep in a sling and on a night time I coslept with DD1 until after she was 2yrs and DD2 is 14 months and is still is bed with me. Would you/are you able to cry cosleeping?

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difficulttod · 24/09/2020 17:19

I do try her with a bottle but its probably a 50/50 chance whether she'll take it or scream. This afternoon she had 5oz at 1oclock, started crying 10 minutes ago so I offered her milk, she screamed and screamed so much DP came and asked what was wrong. She then fell asleep even though she's been awake less than an hour and has slept since 2. There's just no consistency at all!
Tried co sleeping, guess what happened.

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Lockdownseperation · 24/09/2020 17:55

I would contact your GP and says you want to trial a fully dairy free formula.

Kdm8 · 24/09/2020 19:18

Hi, where do I start??
I have had to kick my 16 year old son out as he is physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to myself and his twin sister and 8 year old sister, years ago court order in place stating he cannot live with me, to reside with his father, his father abandoned him and left him to fend for himself, social services bullied me to take him in even though was going against court order! I now suffer with mental health issues due to his dad being violent to me etc etc, non molestation order in place. Anyway my son now hates me, has sent me messages threatening me, telling me to slit my wrists and die, telling me to watch my back etc, I feel sick to the stomach and right now have nowhere to turn and feeling very suicidal.

ClaraMumsnet · 24/09/2020 21:21

Hi @Kdm8, you might want to start your own thread so you can get the support you need. Please do also check out our Mental Health Webguide which has lots of places which may be able to offer support Flowers

difficulttod · 25/09/2020 06:27

Wow, so glad I posted now.

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iftherewereahorseyinthehouse · 25/09/2020 06:32

She screamed so much DP came in and asked what was wrong?

Get him to take over so you can rest! What's he been doing? Having a nice kip in the other room?

thesecangettofuck · 25/09/2020 12:50

Can you get Alfamino op? It's completely dairy and soy free. My baby was the same until we started on it.

thesecangettofuck · 25/09/2020 12:59

And some babies just do better on one allergy formula than another. Neocate and Alfamino are both corn based, not sure if it's worth testing for corn allergy too?

Also the screaming and writhing around sounds a lot like reflux. Is she on losec?

difficulttod · 25/09/2020 22:39

@iftherewereahorseyinthehouse

She screamed so much DP came in and asked what was wrong?

Get him to take over so you can rest! What's he been doing? Having a nice kip in the other room?

Oh fuck off. He was working. It was to illustrate how loud she is not to give you an opportunity to nitpick my personal life.
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difficulttod · 25/09/2020 22:42

@thesecangettofuck thank you. I will try to get a GP appointment to discuss changing formula. Was told neocate was the best one so wasn't aware there were any more to try. We have suspected reflux and colic and have tried to treat it but nothing worked.

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DietCokeAndFluffySlippers · 25/09/2020 22:48

My baby had this, it's horrific but you will get out the other side Thanks I can't remember if she finally ended up on Neocate or Nutramigen, but it was the omeprazole that made the massive difference! We also used to use Carobel to help, I'm not sure if you can get it on prescription but Tesco used to stock it! It's been a while since my baby was a baby though, hopefully I'm not offering outdated information Confused

Miljea · 25/09/2020 23:25

difficultod-

You may have lost some of your audience with your 'fuck off'.

You've kind of stated that 'only replies that I agree with are acceptable'.

Your 'personal life', with a screaming baby you're not coping with, is entirely relevant.

difficulttod · 26/09/2020 08:58

@DietCokeAndFluffySlippers I have heard of people using carobel to thicken milk, I will try some. Thank you, it always helps to know other people have been through it and understand. Its quite soul destroying having people dismiss it as "just being a fussy baby" which is what a good majority of family and friends say.

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Lockdownseperation · 26/09/2020 09:04

@Miljea the OP has not long given birth and she has very young baby who is screaming in pain and won’t have had much sleep a then a another poster is judging her family. I’m not surprised she was she swore. Let’s be strong women. Strong women support other women rather than kicking them when they are at the most need of help.

OP keep pestering the GP their are different formulas and medications which can help. Sometimes it’s just working out the right combination. It will get better XX

Lockdownseperation · 26/09/2020 09:04
  • there
difficulttod · 26/09/2020 09:06

@Miljea that's such a typical mumsnet response. My fault for getting annoyed that someone's taken one sentence out of my entire post and twisted it to create a ridiculous accusation.
The only relevant bits that anyone needs to know about is what I have included. I have not included anything about my partner not pulling his weight. If you want to twist someone's words hop over to AIBU.

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difficulttod · 26/09/2020 09:07

[quote Lockdownseperation]@Miljea the OP has not long given birth and she has very young baby who is screaming in pain and won’t have had much sleep a then a another poster is judging her family. I’m not surprised she was she swore. Let’s be strong women. Strong women support other women rather than kicking them when they are at the most need of help.

OP keep pestering the GP their are different formulas and medications which can help. Sometimes it’s just working out the right combination. It will get better XX[/quote]
Thank you @Lockdownseperation that's really appreciated Flowers

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Babysharksmom · 26/09/2020 09:16

Oh my god op I feel for you. This was me last year. My 3rd baby had cmpi. We did the whole journey of all the different milks, osteopath, hospital. It wound me down to a thread of myself. I was on edge all of the time. That screaming - I know what it feels like for you now. At 4 months after trying every milk on prescription. We switched to goats milk. It was instant. No screaming after feeds. Slept better. It's so hard when you have 2 others. They were only 3 and 1 but woukd say oh baby crying again. It had such a huge impact on all of us. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk at all. But I'm not exaggerating wheb I say the change to nanny care was amazing. Hugs - I really really feel for you xxxxxxx

difficulttod · 27/09/2020 21:18

Thank you @Babysharksmom it is so helpful to hear I'm not alone Flowers

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