How do you cope with tiredness

[PollyPocket245]

Hi all :), I’m a first time parent with a three week old and I was just wondering what others do to cope with tiredness? I had a traumatic birth and have found it really tough to try and recover and come to terms with what happened along side the sleep deprivation. Should I really sleep when baby sleeps? I feel like I’d never have any time to myself or to do housework If I did. How do people share things out between partners or family members? I’ll just mention that my baby has reflux so she is very unsettled and wakes often! Just really looking for some insight to help me muddle through. Thank you! Xx

I am on my own and after three weeks of just a few 20 min naps in the day I was almost hallucinating . Went to stay with my parentst for a week and decided to hire a night nurse for a couple of weeks. If you have a partner who can help u get 4 hour sleeps then do it. Do what you need to do, this fourth trimester is brutal in terms of tiredness, bliss in terms of cuddles

1. Sleep with the baby.
2. Make sure your DH does his share not just ‘helps.’ Mine did this when he went back to work

• woke up, emptied the dishwasher, folded laundry, ran another load, had a shower, made toast and tea for both of us. Meanwhile I woke up and fed the baby and handed to DH.
• DH played, burped and changed him while I had a shower and ate tea and toast in peace.
• DH then made me a quick salad or a sandwich or something before going to work. So when he left we were all changed, some jobs done and there was lunch for me
• he batch cooked on weekends.
• did a dream feed at 10 am (I was breastfeeding so the rest I fed) so I could get a solid chunk.
• did plenty of chores in the weekend

1. I worked out that I got 4 x 20 min chunks in the day when perhaps I could get jobs done. So I got super efficient.

• first chunk, dry the laundry DH put on. Put away laundry. chop vegetables.
• second chunk, put on something quick for dinner.
• third chunk (back up plan if dinner didn’t get made). Or else takeaway. 🤷‍♀️ Gave the kitchen a quick wipe down.
• last chunk- whizzed around the living room with a handheld and a general tidy.

Some people are fine with a very untidy house- it drives me gently mad.

1. Because I breastfed and DH didn’t do night feeds, I got a mini lie in on weekend mornings.
2. Try and snatch moments of your old normal life. DH forced me to have coffee with some friends- it was only 45 minutes and I was a 5 min walk from home but it made me feel better. When DH got home sometimes I went for a walk around the block for fresh air (too tired to jog or run). Sometimes on a weekend morning I would have breakfast in peace for 30 mins with my headphones on and a podcast. I found taking off tiny 30 mins chunk of self care worked to give me the energy to cope with the endless drudgery that is newborn life.

For routine my MIL had a good tip. She said with a second baby you have a routine because your older one has a routine anyway. So for your first instead of putting the baby on a routine get yourself into a vague routine.
So I outlined my morning routine with DH and I.
So roughly (v roughly) 1ish I would feed the baby, burp and put down on a playmat for 10 mins while I gulped a sandwich and some cold tea.
Then roughly 3ish I would take him out for a walk for a couple of hours.
Roughly around 6:30/7, we would run a hot bath, give him a massage, quick dip, fresh clothes, story while I fed him and then he would stay upstairs in the dark till 6/7 am. If he fell asleep I would promptly go to sleep too. If he squeaked around 9/10, DH would do the ‘dream feed’- this usually meant I got a 4-5 hour chunk by midnight so then I could do the two hourly feeds after that.
So I felt like there was a routine even if there wasn’t.

Split the night until DS was 8 weeks and then I started co sleeping which meant I do all the nights now but actually get so much more sleep. I sleep in the day when baby sleeps sometimes if I'm really tired.

Do you breastfeed? If not then CAFFEINE, lots of it! Make a nice strong coffee/tea when your feeling like a zombie.

Sleep when baby sleeps we’re always told as parents, however, I found it hard to drop back to sleep after feeding and burping and nappy change was done. I was wide awake by this time and baby went back to sleep. It was frustrating.

Me and my partner came up with a routine, he would do nights and I would do days. This only was possible because he wasn’t working at the time. I supported us both during this time and we got by. It was worth it as my mental health and well-being were priority, I couldn’t have done day and nights myself. I know not everyone has this as an option though.

Any family member who can stay with you now and again?

Don’t feel guilty about housework, let it pile up. Put yourself first and even lying in bed nothing while baby sleeps if you can’t sleep is ideal.